Picture Perfect
by MissyMo2005
Summary: Molly's been in the army for two years when she's called up as a replacement medic and joins two section. From the outside her life looks perfect, but behind closed doors she's struggling with a dark secret.
1. Chapter 1

_So, this is something that came out of me having a day at home alone and being bored. I'm not really sure what I think of it and if I should carry on with it, so I thought I'd put it out there and see what people thought and if anyone would be interested to read anymore- so let me know what you think!_

* * *

"Oh for Christs sake!" Charles complained, rolling over in his bed and burying his head under the pillows in an attempt to muffle the noise coming from next door. He couldn't quite work out what was being said, or rather screamed, next door but clearly who ever it was wasn't exactly happy.

He'd moved to this little terraced house, just outside the base a few months after he'd split up with Rebecca. He'd initially moved back in with his parents but his mother had been suffocating him, and although she meant well he'd known within a few days he needed to get out of there and have his own space again, at least until his next tour. When he'd seen the house advertised it had seemed like the perfect solution. It was a few minutes away from the base and far enough away from his mother that she wouldn't be coming over to check on him every day.

He hadn't given much thought to the neighbours, until a week ago the house must have been empty. He'd seen a couple of removals lorry's outside, but he hadn't actually seen any people there. Then a couple of nights ago he'd been woken up in the early hours of the morning by the sound of doors slamming and muffled shouting. He hadn't thought much of it at that time- everyone argued. Him and Rebecca had done more than their fair share of it during the last few months of their marriage.

Rolling over and glancing at his alarm clock he realised, with a groan, that he might as well just get up now. It was 4.30am and he had to be on the base by 6am anyway. With one final groan he hauled himself out of bed and dragged himself down the stairs and in to the kitchen for a cup of his beloved rosabaya coffee while he tried to convince himself that being up at 4am wasn't that bad.

The noise from next door had settled down a little, but the walls between the house were obviously paper thin because he could hear almost every word of what they were saying to each other. He'd managed to work out there was a man and a woman, and the majority of the shouting was definitely coming from the man. But before he had the chance to work out exactly what they were shouting about they suddenly went silent. He paused for a second, then flipped on the tv and didn't really think any more of it.

* * *

A couple of hours later he was in his uniform and headed out of the front door, the mornings rude awakening forgotten. Instead, his mind had turned to what he'd got to do today. They'd got a couple of days before they were being deployed again, they were off to Afghanistan, his fourth tour, and he'd got a lot to do to prepare. He was running an early morning PT session with the lads from two section, they'd got a new medic coming to join them as a last minute replacement after the previous one had broken her arm on a night out while on leave. He didn't really know anything about her, and neither with anyone else, she'd done her training and been stationed at the other end of the country but had moved up to join the under fives. He was just hoping she'd fit in okay and get on with the rest of the lads or it was going to be a long six months for all of them.

His mind wandered back to Sam a little as he drove towards the base. Six months was a long time to be away from him. If he was honest, it was probably this latest six month tour that had been the final nail in the coffin for his marriage to Rebecca. All she'd really wanted was a settled and stable life- and a husband who disappeared off in to a war zone for six months at a time wasn't really compatible with that.

So he'd moved out, left her with the family home they'd made and accepted that she'd only let him see his son every other weekend- and even then that was only when he wasn't working. He was hoping that his six months away might give her a chance to calm down and get everything sorted out. Afghanistan gave him something to focus his energy on, other than arguing with her over when he'd get to see his son next, and he was fed up with sitting in an empty house on his own every evening.

The lads had all noticed the change in him, he'd caught them talking about it in the showers when they hadn't realised he was there. They were right, he'd taken his frustrations out on them- the 10 mile runs in full kit had been as much to release some of his pent up anger as it had been to make sure that they were fit and ready for deployment. He'd made a mental note to himself to leave what had happened between him and Rebecca at home and not let it affect him at work. Although the lack of sleep he'd had last night hadn't exactly put him in a wonderful mood that morning.

"Captain James!" He heard Corporal Kinders calling his name as he walked across the base to meet the rest of the section.

"Kinders." He stopped and turned to face him. At the Corporal's side was a young female soldier, she looked between the two of them uncertainly.

"This is our new medic, Molly Dawes." Kinders said, gesturing to the woman beside him. "I was just explaining to her about this mornings PT exercise."

"It's good to meet you Dawes." Charles said, forcing himself to smile at the woman in front of him. She was young, no one had told him that. He could feel himself judging her already, wondering if she was going to hold her section back. The nervous looks she was giving him wasn't exactly filling him with confidence in her either.

"Sir." She nodded, her eyes flicking back to Kinders uncertainly.

"I'll let Kinders introduce you to the rest of the section, then we'll head out on our run." He said, nodding to Kinders before turning and continuing on his way to his office.

Molly stood uncomfortably in front of the rest of her new section as the Corporal introduced her. She wasn't really listening to what he was telling them, she tuned in and out as he told them about her previous two tours and that she'd been deployed training Afghan medics. They were lucky to have her apparently, but she wasn't so sure that was true.

She wasn't really sure why she'd taken this tour. She'd had to completely up turn her entire life and move half way across the country to do it. Something that Artan had been less than enthusiastic about. But, he was out of work, and they had nothing left tying them to London. Her family hadn't wanted anything to do with her since she'd joined the Army and Artan's family were still in Albania. Besides, he hadn't had a job in six months and they needed the deployment money. It would be enough to pay for the rent and food while she was gone if he couldn't find himself a job- or if he was really that unhappy about it, she was more than happy for him to piss off back to London. Something she'd told him on more than one occasion.

They hadn't really been happy together for a couple of years now. Not since she'd joined the army if she was telling the truth. As he liked to bring up every time they had an argument- which felt as though it was every time they spoke to each other- she was part of an Army that was going out to Afghanistan to kill 'his people'. She'd tried to explain to him on numerous occasions that they were being deployed to stop terrorism and try and bring peace to the country. She'd given up trying to justify it to him by this point, she honestly just didn't care what he thought. Maybe he'd still be in the little two bedroom house she;d rented them when she got back in six months time, maybe he wouldn't. A little bit of her hoped it was the second option. Maybe if she got really lucky he'd remember his love for Mary and sod off back to London and ask her to marry him instead. She wasn't really sure why he hadn't done that already, because from everything he'd said to her, he sure as hell wasn't staying with her because he loved her.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice that Kinders had finished speaking and they were now all looking at her, waiting for her to say something. She mumbled something about being glad to be joining them, not making eye contact with anyone and then slid in with the rest of the group, waiting for instructions on what to do next. She pushed Artan out of her mind, she'd have to deal with him once she got home, but for the next few hours at least she'd just forget he existed.

* * *

After the first nine miles of the run her new Captain had dragged them all out on at 6.30am on a Monday morning, she was starting to wonder if she might've rather stayed at home and argued with Artan some more. She was fit, a few years in the Army meant that she had no trouble with the distance she was being asked to run- even with the huge bergen strapped to her back- but mentally and physically, she'd been exhausted before she had even started moving. And then there was the burning pain down the left hand side of her rib cage from where Artan had shoved her in to the kitchen table in a fit of rage last night.

"Come on Dawes! Keep up!" Captain James yelled as she slowed ever so slightly, forcing herself to suck some more air in to her lungs despite the pain, and pick up the pace. She wasn't at the back of the group, there were three or four of the lads behind her, so she wasn't really sure why he was picking on her. Because she was new maybe? She wanted to yell back at him to piss off and leave her alone, if he was on some kind of power trip and thinking he could yell at her all day then he was sadly mistaken. But she bit her tongue, because even if she thought he was probably a bit of a dick head, he was still her superior. All she'd got left at the moment was the Army, and she wasn't about to ruin that for herself by telling her Captain where he could stick his attitude, so she bit her lip and forced herself to pick up the pace as she continued to run.

* * *

The next few days had passed in a blur of PT sessions and preparing kit for their deployment. She'd washed, ironed and folded all her kit before packing it neatly in her bergen. She'd checked the medical kit multiple times, crossing each item off the inventory as she packed it, ready to be flown out with them the next morning. She'd taken her time, trying to avoid the fact that she had to go home and deal with Artan. The rest of the section had gone home to say goodbye to their families and loved ones, spending one last night with the people who loved them and would miss them every day that they were gone.

On the other hand, she was going home to Artan who, depending on his mood and how much he'd had to drink that day, would either beg her not to leave him and tell her that he loved her and wanted to marry her, or scream at her and accuse her of hating Muslims and trying to murder his people. Neither of them were her idea of a fun way to spend her last night before deployment.

If she was honest, she probably should've cut her losses and walked away from Artan years ago- probably at the point where she'd found him in the toilet cubicle with her supposed best friend. But, the one time she'd totally lost it with him, packed her bags and walked out of the door she'd ended up with the hospital on the phone telling her he'd tried to kill himself. Now every time she said she was going to leave him, or do anything he didn't like, he'd threaten to do it again- and then he'd ask her how she'd be able to live with knowing he'd done it because of her. While she was fairly sure he was bluffing and they were empty threats, she also knew he was right- if he did do something she'd never be able to forgive herself.

So that was how she found herself leaning against the wall outside her house, lighting another one of the cigarettes she kept telling herself that she was going to give up, staring up at the sky. By this time tomorrow she'd be back at Bastion, and Artan would probably still be passed out on the sofa where he had been when she'd first got home and he'd stayed for the last three hours that she'd been home. In a way she was relieved. She was hoping that he wouldn't wake up before it was time for her to leave, that way she'd be spared the pain of going through all his anger again.

"Dawes?" Her eyes snapped open to find her new Captain standing the other side of the small wall between her front garden and the house next door.

"Captain James?" She automatically found herself standing up a little straighter. She reached to put out her cigarette.

"Don't put it out on my account." He said with a small smile. "You should be enjoying your last night at home. Does this mean you're my new neighbour then?" He asked. He had to admit his curiosity was peaked now.

She nodded. "Moved in a few days ago."

"I'm surprised you didn't just stay on base for a few days. You're not going to be needing a house for a while, are you?" He asked. He was trying to find a way to ask her if she had a boyfriend or a husband without having to outright ask her.

"My boyfriend moved up here with me, so he'll need somewhere to live even if I wont be here." She told him reluctantly. She needed a way out of this conversation with her new boss. Of all of the bloody houses she could've picked, she had to choose the one next to her Captain. A blush rose up her cheeks as she wondered how much of what had happened last night he'd heard.

"Is he Army too?" James asked, sitting on the edge of the wall.

Molly shook her head. "I'd better go." She said quickly, she wasn't hanging around long enough for him to carry on asking questions about Artan. "See you in the morning Boss." She flicked her cigarette on to the ground and disappeared in to the house before he had a chance to say anything else.

She leant back against the front door once she was safely on the other side. She was now about to be deployed with this man for six months and she was going to have to come up with some kind of convincing story to tell them all about Artan and pray that their paths never crossed.

"Where have you been?" Her eyes snapped open to find Artan standing inches away from her, glaring at her.

"Packing up the rest of my kit at the base." She said, trying to step around him. "We fly out at 0500 tomorrow."

His arm went out, blocking her escape route. "Flying off to kill more of my people." He leered at her. "I take care of you, and this is how you repay me Molly."

She bit back a sarcastic comment. She already knew how her last night at home was going to go, there was no point winding him up about it any more than he already was- especially now she knew her captain was just the other side of the paper thin walls and he could probably hear every word.

Suddenly, she couldn't wait to be back in the middle of the desert, thousands of miles away from all of her problems.


	2. Chapter 2

_I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who had read and left a review on the first chapter of this story. I've been completely overwhelmed by the response!_

Molly was relieved when the clock finally showed 3am. She hadn't even bothered going to bed, Artan had gone up there and she didn't want to have to look at him. Plus she was worried that she might wake him and they'd have to start the whole argument all over again. She cringed a little thinking about it, her hand wandering up to her forehead where she'd hit her head on the wall as he'd shoved her away from him. She had spent the whole time he was screaming at her praying that Captain James couldn't hear them, the last thing she needed was for him to start asking questions about her personal life. She just wanted to go out on tour, keep her head down and do her job, then when she got back she'd find herself another deployment with a different section and they'd all forget that she'd ever existed.

She smoothed her uniform down, pulling on her cap and swinging her bergen over her shoulder as she headed for the door. She cast a quick look back over her shoulder at the mess she was leaving behind. A half drunk bottle of vodka sat on the floor, she could see the light reflecting off the smashed glass that was on the floor, the glass Artan had thrown at her having shattered in to hundreds of pieces as it had exploded against the wall. She wouldn't have been at all surprised if the house was still in the same state in six months time when she came home- just maybe with a few more pizza boxes and empty bottles scattered around the place. With one last look back, she opened the front door and stepped out in to the dark street. It'd take her about twenty minutes to walk to the base from there. She'd still be early, but that was fine, she just needed to get out of that house and away from Artan. She didn't want to be there when he woke up with a raging hangover and realised that today was the day she was being deployed.

She'd been walking for five minutes when a car slowed beside her on the deserted road, she heard the sound of a window being rolled down. Her first thought was that Artan had come after her, ready for one last go before she escaped him for six months and her whole body stiffened.

"Jump in Dawes. I'll give you a lift." She glanced over her shoulder in disbelief, to find Captain James looking at her expectantly from a shiny silver Audi.

"Thanks Sir, I can walk though." She said, starting to walk again. The last thing she wanted to do was get trapped in a car making awkward small talk with him, or anyone really. It was bad enough she was going to have to sit on the plane with her whole section for hours with no escape while they tried to talk to her and get to know her. She honestly couldn't think of anything worse.

"Get in Dawes." He instructed. "And that's an order. It's pitch black out here for God's sake, can't have you getting hit by a car on the way to base. Where do you expect me to find another medic at this hour?" He joked, and she forced a smile, reluctantly walking around to the passenger side of the car and getting in next to him.

"Thanks." She mumbled, feeling very uncomfortable as she fastened her seat belt.

The drive to the base only lasted about five minutes, but sat in the awkward silence between the two of them it felt like a life time. "Are you looking forward to being back on tour?" Captain James suddenly asked, his voice cutting through the silence. "This will be your third right."

She nodded. "I'm looking forward to getting back to it. In a strange way there's nothing quite like sleeping in a tent in forty degree heat in the middle of the desert. I've missed Afghanistan in a strange way. I know there's awful things that happen out there every day, but I've had some amazing memories out there too." She smiled fondly.

Charles nodded in agreement. Afghanistan had ultimately destroyed his marriage and he'd come home without all of the soldiers he'd taken out there with him. But, while there were moments of sadness in his time there, he felt the same as Molly- when he looked back on it he remembered the good times he'd had with the lads and what they'd achieved in their time there rather than the arguments with Rebecca over skype and the sleepless nights wondering if he'd made the right decisions.

"How are you finding the lads in two section?" He asked curiously, stopping as the reached the security at the entrance to the base.

"They're alright, they're all so young though! Makes me feel like an old woman." She smiled. The lads in her section seemed like they'd be a laugh and they'd all get on alright, that was all she really wanted. After all, when these six months were up she'd probably never see them again.

"Everyone calls them the Under Fives." He smiled, laughing quietly to himself at the private joke, waiting for her to catch on.

She smiled, laughing quietly. "I'd say you've definitely got that right if you're talking about their mental ages." She muttered, thinking of the way they'd all clowned around as they'd packed up the last of their kit yesterday. Her Captain laughed quietly, nodding in agreement.

"They're a challenge to keep in line, that's for sure. Keeps my on my toes." He smiled, parking the car and turning to look at her. "Have you got much left to sort out before we go?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I just want to check all the medical kit once more before we load it up." She'd already checked and double checked everything, but she needed an excuse to give him about why she'd been coming to the base so much earlier than she needed too.

"Give it all the once over then meet me in my office, I might even let you have a cup of my coffee if you're really lucky." He smiled, climbing out of the car. "You'll need one if you're going to deal with those lads this early in the morning."

"It's fine, I'm not really a coffee drinker." She answered quickly. The last thing she wanted to do was sit and make more awkward small talk with him. She made a mental note to make sure she was sat at the opposite end of the plane to him when they flew out to avoid him trying to make conversation with her.

"I insist!" He smiled, swinging his bergen over his shoulder. "It'd be nice to have a chance to get to know our new medic properly."

"I'll see if I've got time, got to get all this organised Sir." She called back over her shoulder, already striding off in the direction of the stores before he had a chance to say anything else.

Getting to know anyone in the section hadn't been a part of her plan. She didn't make friends with the people she worked with or share any real details about her life with them. She kept herself to herself- that way they didn't ask her questions about her personal life and she didn't have to lie to them. She'd slipped up already, allowing herself to start making conversation with Captain James about their personal lives, but she sure as hell wasn't going to make it again.

As she started making her final checks on the kit her phone started to ring, Artan's name flashing across the screen. Her finger hesitated over the ignore button, but she decided to answer it. There was a little part of her that was worried it might be something serious, even though she knew the likelihood was he just wanted to scream at her a bit more.

"Hello?" She held the phone away from her ear a little, bracing herself for the onslaught of abuse that was about to come.

"Why do you do this to me Molly?" He slurred down the phone at her. There was a crash in the background which she could only imagine was something being thrown against a wall- there was no way she was ever going to get back the damage deposit back on the house that was for sure. "I love you and want to marry you, and this is how you repay me. You fly off to kill my people with your army."

"I don't have time to do this again right now Artan. You made your feelings pretty clear about it last night." Her hand moved to rub the bruises that were forming on her shoulders where he'd grabbed hold of her and shoved her against the wall. "In less than two hours time I'll be back on a plane out to Afghanistan to do my job, I honestly don't care what you think of me. If you were a real man you wouldn't think you could beat your beliefs in to me for christs sake! We can continue this argument in six months times if you like!" She snapped, hanging up on him and slamming her phone down in frustration.

Her head snapped up at the sound of someone clearing their throat in the doorway. "Are you almost ready Dawes?" Captain James asked, stepping in to the storage room. "The lads need to get the kit loaded up."

"All done Sir." She answered, shoving her phone back in to her pocket. She looked at him uncertainly, but if he had heard any of her conversation with Artan he didn't mention it.

"Excellent. Lads!" He yelled. "Get in here and get this stuff shifted over to the plane."

She had to laugh as the rest of the section bundled in to the small storage room, grabbing the boxes of kit that she'd packed. They were all excited to be heading out on their first tours, running on a mixture of excitement and adrenaline. She could remember how she'd felt when she'd been in their shoes. This time though, she felt different in a way that she couldn't quite put her finger on. She squashed the thoughts down, for the moment at least. She'd have long enough to contemplate the mess she'd ended up with in her life while she was squashed in the back of the plane all the way to Afghanistan.

"Come on then Dawes." Captain James called, hesitating in the doorway. "This plane isn't going to wait around for you all day."

"Just checking I'd got everything Sir." She said, heading over to the door that he was holding open for her.

"What have you done to your neck?" He asked, frowning as she walked past him. A faint purplish bruise was just beginning to become visible above the collar of her jumper.

She glanced up at him, pulling her collar up so it covered the mark his eyes had been focused on. "It's nothing." She said quickly, pulling her bergen on to her shoulder, trying to ignore the pain of the straps pressing on the other bruises that were hidden beneath her clothes. "I've been putting in some extra PT session, must've caught it on something, you know how it is." She told him, starting to walk towards the plane.

"Dawes." He caught her by the arm and pulled her back. "If there's something going on that means you're not going to be one hundred percent focused on your job then now is the time to speak up because I need you one hundred percent focused and by my side." He knew he was crossing the line here and making some pretty big leaps from an over heard phone call, some arguments and a couple of bruises. He shouldn't have said anything, but for some reason he just didn't seem to be able to stop himself from interfering.

"I'm fine, focused and ready to go. Just a bit clumsy, that's all." She forced a smile, pulling her arm free from his grasp and walking away from him before he had a chance to say anything else. Was it possible to avoid someone while you were deployed with them for six months? She hoped so.


	3. Chapter 3

First of all, another massive thank you to everyone who's been reading. It really makes my day to read all your comments and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too! For those of you who are reading War Wounds too, there is another chapter on the way for you soon I promise, I'm just struggling a little with how to finish the next chapter but I'm working on it and it'll be with you soon. Enjoy!

They had around half an hour left before they were due to land at Camp Bastion when Molly woke up from her uncomfortable sleep to find her Captain had moved in to the seat next to her.

"Rise and shine Dawes." He grinned. "We're almost there and you've been snoring for the last five hours."

She blinked sleepily, her eyes adjusting to the dim lighting in the back of the plane. "I don't snore sir."

"I beg to differ Dawes, and I'm pretty sure the rest of the lads will back me up." He laughed.

Molly glanced around her. The rest of the lads were deep in conversation, she could see the mixture of excitement and anxiety on their faces as they prepared to land in Afghanistan for the first time. She could remember exactly how she felt when she was in there position.

"They're all too excited to even hear a word your saying." She laughed, turning slightly to look at him. She felt her cheeks flush as she realised his eyes were resting on the bruises that were forming on her neck.

Charles looked back up, meeting her eye uncomfortably. She'd caught him staring at the bruises on her neck, which were becoming more and more clearly in the shape of a hand print. "I am a bit worried that Bastion might not quite live up to their expectations. And I don't even dare to tell them that there isn't a Nandos!" He laughed.

She smiled, glancing over at the lads again. "They'll be alright once they've discovered Pizza Hut." She laughed. "If not it'll be a bloody long six months for all of us."

Charles flashed her a grin, and she couldn't help but return it. "I'm sure I can trust you to keep them all in order for me Dawes."

"I dunno about that, I'm a medic not a miracle worker." She smiled.

He laughed quietly, standing up and looking at the lads around him. "Right!" He yelled, getting everyone's attention instantly. "We're about ten minutes out, so settle down. Everyone out on your full protective clothing including helmets." He looked around as everyone nodded, before sitting back down next to her and pulling his body armour on.

Molly cringed a little, the movement making her realise just how sore her shoulder was. She hadn't felt the pain when Artan had actually hit her last night, the adrenaline overriding the pain. But now as the bruises began to develop so did the pain. She tugged the collar of her shirt up again to cover them.

"Excited to be back Dawes?" He asked as the plane started its decent down in to the base.

She nodded. "I like being on tour, there's something about living out of a Bergen and being covered in grime from the desert that won't come off no matter how many times you shower." She joked. She wasn't about to tell them that the real reason she loved being on tour so much is because there was no way Artan could turn up unexpectedly out was desperately craving six months away from him to get her head straight and decide what she as going to do.

The thing that had stopped her leaving Artan, the thought that crept up on her when she was lying in bed in the middle of the night- without him she literally had no one. Her family had completely disowned her after she'd joined the army, she had lost touch with all of her friends from London and having Artan at home had stopped her making any real friends in the army. So she was on her own, just her and Artan.

She zoned back in on the fact that Charles was talking to her, hoping that he hadn't said anything that was important because she hadn't heard a single word that he'd said. The noise levels on the plane had increased as they got closer to landing and the lads got more excited. Charles was still talking but she couldn't hear a word her was saying anymore. He seemed to realise as he stopped talking and put on his helmet, ready to step out on to the base in a matter of minutes.

Then in a blur the plane came bouncing down on to the runway, the brakes shrieking as the plane eventually ground to a halt. A small cheer of excitement went up amongst the lads and she almost rolled her eyes at them. She had a feeling there excitement might not last so long once they'd stepped out in to the forty degree heat that was waiting for them.

As predicted, the second they'd stepped off the plane the boys had started complaining about the heat. "It's like walking through treacle!" Smurf complained, hauling is Bergen up on of his shoulder.

Molly laughed as she threw her bag over her shoulder, walking along beside him. "Just you wait until you have to do a PT session in full kit in this heat mate. You won't know what's hit you."

"Did someone suggest a PT session in full kit?" Captain James asked, appearing beside them as they headed for the bus. "What an excellent idea Dawes!" He strode off ahead of them in the direction of the waiting bus.

"cheers for that." Smurf groaned, rolling his eyes at her.

Molly laughed. "He was going to do it anyway. I remember my first tour, we got called back here after a few months, we were just kind of hanging around for the last few weeks, waiting to go home. My captain then had us running ten miles in full kit morning and night. Last person to get there got stuck with latrine duty for that day."

"Don't give him any more bloody ideas." Smurf groaned. "I came out here to fight the Taliban not clean the bloody toilets."

She laughed, climbing on to the bus and flopping down on to the seat. If only someone had thought about putting air con on this busses. She'd been prepared for the heat, but somehow the feeling of stepping out in to forty degree heat wasn't really something that you could prepare yourself for. Looking at the rest of the lads ass they got on to the bus she could tell they were all going to be coming to her to complain about their sunburn within a day or two. These were the kind of medical emergencies she lived for.

As soon as they got to their quarters and the captain had gone the lads had started praying around, play fighting and putting bets on who would be the first one to get sunburn would be. She'd dumped her Bergen on the be closed to the door and then disappeared out to get the medical kit that they'd brought over with them unpacked. She'd wait until they'd all calmed down a bit before she went back in there again, they were exhausting just to watch.

By the time she found herself wandering back in the direction of their quarters, cup of tea in hand, the sun had gone down and it was more or less silent out side. She paused for a second, staring up at the sky. She could remember standing doing exactly the same thing when she'd come out on her first tour, amazed at how many more stars she could see from the Middle of the desert compared with central London. It made her shudder to think how much had changed since that first tour- how much she'd changed from the person she was back then.

"Dawes!" She turned around at the sound of her name being shouted, to find Captain James standing in the doorway of the portacabin that housed his office and sleeping quarters.

She briefly wondered if she could get away with walking away and pretending she hadn't heard him, but she'd already turned and looked at him so it was a bit late. "Sir?" She said, walking towards him.

"Come in." He said, stepping back out of the doorway. "You're up late Dawes?" He looked at her, as though waiting for an explanation of some kind.

"I was over at the hospital unpacking the supplies we brought out. Took a bit longer than I thought it would. Then I thought I might as well get a brew in the way back, haven't had a cuppa since we left England!"

"You can sit down you know, I won't bite." He said, gesturing to a chair as she hovered nervously in the door way.

Reluctantly she took a seat. She hadn't wanted to sit down because that implied she was staying and the last thing she wanted to do was sit here and make awkward small talk with her new boss.

"Have the lads settled down?" He asked as she took a gulp of her tea.

"They're a bit excitable, but boys will be boys. You know what they're like on their first tour." She smiled fondly. She liked the lads in her section, they were a laugh and she knew given some time they'd all become firm friends. She felt a pang of sadness as the voice in her head reminded her that she wouldn't be staying with them after this tour.

"I'm hoping you'll be a calming influence on them Dawes. I've had Major Beck singing your praises to me all morning." He perched himself on the edge of his bed so he was sitting opposite her. His eyes were immediately drawn to her forearms, where she'd rolled her sleeves up and there was now a multitude of blue and purple bruises visible below the sleeves.

As if she could sense where he was looking she snatched at her sleeves, pulling them down quickly to cover the bruises. "I should head back, better get some sleep." She said quickly, draining the last of her tea. She was suddenly uncomfortable sitting there with him, she knew it was only a matter of time before he started asking her about Artan again and she just didn't have it in her to create some kind of convincing lie to tell him. She was too tired.

Captain James nodded, standing up as she walked towards the door. "PT session at 0800 tomorrow, then I'll need you to do all the lads medical checks tomorrow morning before we get deployed out to the forward operating base." He told her.

"Sir." She nodded in agreement.

"Oh and Dawes." She paused and turned to look at him, one hand on the door handle. "I know you're just going to tell me that you're fine, but if there is something going on and you need to talk, you know where I am. It's not going to leave this room, okay? Just please, if you need anything let me know."

She nodded, biting her lip as she bolted out of the door. This right here proved case and point why she should've just kept herself to herself and not started a conversation with anyone. She was now going to have to spend six months avoiding questions about Artan- which if she was being honest, she was fairly certain he already knew the answers to the question he was trying to ask her- and come up with a convincing and consistent lie to tell the whole section about him.

Bloody brilliant.


	4. Chapter 4

_So this is the last of the chapters I had written in advance, so the updates might be a little bit slower from this point on while I get them written up. I'll do my best to have another one written for you before the end of the week though. Enjoy and let me know what you think! If anyone has any suggestions for what you'd like to see happen please do let me know!_

* * *

"Alright lads, good job!" Captain James called as the rest of the section stopped behind him after their morning PT session. They were all red in the face and their breathing laboured after the run he'd taken them on in full kit. They were going to have to get used to wearing their full kit in this heat quickly- something he'd reminded them of several times this morning- because tonight they were being flown out to the FOB to start their patrols. "Go and get showered and have some lunch. You need to have all you kit packed up and ready to go by 2300hrs, ready for us to be flown out to the FOB. And don't forget that Dawes needs to see you all to do your medical checks this afternoon before we go!"

They all nodded in agreement, walking off in the direction of the shower block. He could hear them muttering under the breath, complaining about how hot it was.

"Dawes!" He called, stopping the medic in her tracks. He could've sworn she rolled her eyes a little before turning and walking back towards him.

"Sir?" She said, brushing her hair out of her face. She didn't really have the time for whatever it was he wanted this time. She was sweltering under all her kit and all she wanted to do was get in the shower and wash some of the dust and grime off her.

"Can you meet me in the medical tent in about an hour?" He asked. "There's just a couple of things I want to go over before you do the rest of the lads medicals."

"Yes Sir." She nodded, forcing herself not to roll her eyes at him. She'd been deliberately avoiding being left alone with him all day after last night's conversation and now she was going to get trapped in the medical tent with him. Wonderful.

He nodded that she was dismissed and she jogged off to catch up with the rest of the lads.

"Bloody hell Dawes. How can you even have the energy left to run after that?" Smurf grumbled as she caught up with him.

She laughed quietly. "I knew what it was like last time I was out here. I did some extra fitness training to get myself ready. Got caught out the first time, wasn't about to let it happen again."

"How many times have you been out here now?" He asked curiously as they threw their kit down on their beds.

"This will be my third tour of Afghanistan." She told him. "The last one I was out here training Afghan medics for three months, first time I was part of a section doing patrols supporting the Afghan forces."

"Did you see much action on the first tour?" He asked curiously.

She nodded. "Three of the lads in my section got shot out on a patrol, there was a sniper hidden somewhere. Must've been tipped off and known we were coming. We were headed for a check point up in the mountains and it just came out of no where." She smiled at him sadly. It was certainly a moment in her career she'd never forget. She'd been relieved when her training had kicked in, but it had haunted her for months afterwards wondering if she could've done anything differently that might have changed the outcome of that day.

"Right, I'm going to go and get showered and get some food before I have to start doing these bloody medical checks." She smiled, shaking off her memories. "I'll see you in a bit."

* * *

Forty five minutes later, she was in the medical tent, checking the kit in her bags ready to be flown out to the FOB. She wasn't aware of Captain James' presence until he cleared his throat from the doorway, causing her to spin around to see who it was, nearly knocking over the stuff she'd piled up everywhere in the process.

"Sir." She said, turning back to shove the last few things in to her bag. "What can I do for you?"

"Sit down Dawes." He said, gesturing to the desk in the middle of the room. She hesitated for a second before sitting down opposite him. "I just wanted to check in with you before you see the rest of the lads, make sure you were getting on okay?"

She nodded. "Everything is fine Sir. Just packing a few extra supplies to take with us. Corporal Kinders has gone to round up the lads so should be able to start their medicals in a few minutes and then we'll be all set and ready to go."

"Excellent." He nodded. "And you Dawes.. How are you finding it so far?"

"It's like I never left." She told him, and that was the truth. Very little had changed at Bastion since she'd last been here. There were a few different faces, and some of the kit was a bit more worn but other than that it was all the same as she'd left it.

"And your shoulder?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" She frowned.

"I could see in the PT session this morning it was bothering you. Every time you moved it you were wincing. Is it anything that I need to be concerned about?" He asked.

She looked down at the table, the intensity of his gaze making her feel uncomfortable. "It's fine. I think I just twisted it from sleeping on the plane that's all." She'd looked at it in the mirror in the showers and it was actually turning a deep and angry shade of purple- she thought she could vaguely remember smacking in to the bannister on the stairs as she'd struggled with Artan. It'd be fine though, she healed quickly.

He opened his mouth as though he was about to say something, then changed his mind. "I've got another favour to ask you Dawes. Can you keep an eye on Smurf for me?"

"Smurf? Why?" She asked curiously, she hadn't been expecting that at all.

He ran his hand through his hair, leaning back in his chair with a sigh. "My last tour out here, Smurf's twin brother Geraint was in my section. He was shot in the neck, never stood a chance the poor sod. I think Smurf will be fine, he's an excellent soldier, I'm just a bit worried that it might all be a bit much for him being out here that's all. I was just hoping you might keep an eye on him for me, well all of the lads to be fair. This is the first tour for all of them, and we both know it can be difficult to adjust."

She nodded. "You basically want me to mother the lot of them." She laughed.

He smiled. "Something like that Dawes. Just try and keep them in line and make sure they don't do anything to stupid. Although that might be impossible, but they all look up to you and respect you. You're more experienced and you've been through this all before. Just try and impart some of that wisdom of yours on them."

"If my Mum heard you saying I'd got wisdom she'd be pissing herself." She laughed quietly. Thinking of her Mum brought a pang of sadness. Her family didn't even know she was out here, not that they cared to be honest. Her Dad had made that very clear when she'd gone back to visit them after her first tour.

"And why's that Dawes?" He asked, a look of amusement on his face.

"Because I ain't even got any GCSE's Sir." She laughed. "Never mind any bloody wisdom to impart anyone. I do a pretty good manicure from them years of working at the nail bar but that's about the only skill I've got."

"Well, Major Beck certainly seems to think otherwise. He was singing your praises to me for days after he found out that you were going to be my replacement medic."

Her cheeks flushed a little at the praise. "I just do my job Sir, that's all." She shrugged.

"Well, not everyone would've crawled a couple of hundred meters through a minefield while there was a sniper hiding somewhere. What you did was above and beyond your duty."

She was about to ask him how he knew about that, but then she realised he would've read her file. She wondered what else he'd found out about her from that file. "I'd do it again." She shrugged.

"And that's what makes you such an excellent medic." He smiled. "What do you think you'll do when we get back off this tour?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know." She shrugged. She hadn't really thought past getting back out to Afghanistan if she was honest. "Wait and see what comes up next I guess. How about you?" She quickly deflected the question back to him to get the topic off herself.

"I'm not sure yet either. Maybe another tour, depends what's going on the world and where we're needed I guess." He said. A couple of years ago he probably wouldn't have been volunteering himself for any tour that came up, wanting to spend time at home with his wife and son, but now things were different. He might as well be doing something useful rather than sitting on his sofa at home.

He gave her another one of those looks, like he was going to say something but had thought better of it. Then there was a knock at the door that interrupted him. "That'll be Kinders." He said, standing up quickly. "I'll leave you to it, just come and let me know how you got on once you're done?"

"Yes Sir." She nodded, as he left.

"You ready Molly?" Kinders asked, sticking his head round the door.

She nodded, shuffling some of the papers on the desk. "Send them in." She called back. "Have a seat." She said, glancing back up to find Smurf standing uncomfortably in front of her. "Don't look so nervous, it's only a few questions." She smiled.

He visibly relaxed. "I've always hated going to the doctors." He smiled.

"Oh believe me, I'm no doctor mate." She laughed. "Are you feeling fit and well?" She asked, turning back to the questions on the sheet.

"Fit as a fiddle me." He smiled.

"How are you finding it so far, settling in and that?" She asked him, putting down her pen.

"It's a bit bloody hot." He complained. "But then I probably should've expected that. I'm just looking forward to getting out to the FOB and getting started. Taliban won't know what's hit 'em." He laughed, but it didn't sound convincing.

She was about to ask him how he was really feeling about it when Kinders stuck his head round the door.

"Oi, Smurf. You got piles or something?" He asked.

"No?" Smurf answered, looking confused.

"Good, then you don't need to sit down do you?" Kinders replied. "Come on, let's get moving. The helicopter will be he before Dawes has the chance to finish if you keep going on."

Smurf rolled his eyes, hauling himself to his feet. "Cheers Dawes." He called back on his way out.

* * *

Just over an hour and a half later she found herself knocking on the door to the Captains cabin. She heard him yell at her to come in. She opened the door to find him sitting at his desk, hunched over a map that was spread across the desk.

"All okay Dawes?" He asked.

She nodded. "No problems Sir." She answered, already backing up towards the door to leave again. "They're just getting ready before the helicopter comes."

"You sure you're okay Dawes? You look a bit..." He trailed off, gesturing towards her face.

She'd used up her phone credit to call Artan and let him know that she'd got there safely after she'd finished with the medicals. Probably hadn't been the wisest decision she'd made because it had left her feeling like crap, but she'd been feeling a bit guilty about the fact that she'd left without saying goodbye to him.

So she'd called him, expecting his usual apology and promises that he'd never hurt her again. Instead, he'd picked up the phone and screamed at her that she was a slut and a whore and she was going to be punished when she got home. She hadn't been ready for it at all. Then when he'd screamed at her that if the Taliban didn't kill her while she was out there, he would when she got home and she'd hung up the call.

"I'm fine." She said weakly, forcing a smile. But to her dismay her eyes began to fill with tears. "I'd better go." She said quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed.

"Sit down." He said, springing up from his chair to block her path to the door. He put a hand gently on her shoulder and guided her in to the chair he'd just been sitting in. "What's going on Dawes?" He asked.

"I'm fine, honest." She said, taking a deep breath and mentally telling herself to man up. This was exactly what she'd been trying to avoid. "Just called home and it upset me a bit more than it would, sorry."

"Your Mum?" He asked softly, sitting down on the bed so he was opposite her. He reached behind him and passed her a tissue which she took gratefully.

She shook her head. "No. They haven't actually spoken to me since I went to basic training. They really didn't approve of me joining the army." She confessed.

"The mysterious boyfriend then I take it?" He said. He wanted to ask her more about her family, but it wasn't really his place to pry. He wasn't even really sure why he cared? Yes he had a duty of care to make sure she finished this tour in one piece, but he didn't really need to get involved. Yet here he was for some reason.

She nodded reluctantly. "He doesn't mean it. He's just angry."

He suddenly wondered if they were talking about the phone call that she'd just made or something else entirely. "Does he get angry often?" He asked.

She nodded slowly. "He's worse when he's had a drink, which is more often than not at the minute." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Why was she telling him this? She barely knew the man.

"Have you been together long?" He asked. He was frightened if he asked the wrong question she'd be out of that chair and bolting out of the room within seconds.

She nodded. "Since high school. He always said he'd take care of me. He was about as thrilled as the rest of my family was when I joined that Army, but I thought he'd got over it. Then when I got told about my first tour, I went home and told him and he just went mental. Said I was going out there to kill his people, that they were training me to hate Muslims and I'd come home hating him." Her fingers subconsciously moved to her right forearm, remembering the six weeks she'd spent in plaster after he'd pushed her down the stairs during a fight when she'd come home from her first tour.

"I'm guessing he wasn't very happy about you taking this tour either?" Charles asked quietly, watching as she wiped roughly at the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I didn't have a lot of choice, not that he would understand, but he's not been working and we needed the deployment money." She admitted. "But we've had more than a couple of fights about it. Mind you, I'm guessing you probably heard most of it, the walls in those houses aren't exactly very thick." She smiled at him apologetically.

He nodded reluctantly. "Is that what happened to your neck and your shoulder?" He asked, wondering if he'd crossed the line by asking her that.

"He doesn't mean it." She said defensively, although she wasn't really sure why she was defending Artan. "I've never been one to keep my mouth shut, I end up winding him up and then some times he just loses it. We all lose our temper every now and then."

"We do." He agreed. "But most of us don't leave bruises in the shape of hand prints around the other persons neck either." He argued. It made him feel a bit sick to think about how tightly his hands must have been wrapped around her neck to leave bruises like that.

"It's fine." She sighed. "I can handle him."

"You shouldn't have to handle him Molly, you don't have to." He argued.

She stood up refusing to look at him. "Let's just pretend that this never happened, I'll do my job and you do yours. We'll finish this tour and then I'll move on and you can forget I ever existed. I've done a perfectly good job of taking care of myself up until this point. I don't need you butting in and trying to save me from myself- you don't even know me for christs sake!"

She was gone before he even had a chance to speak, disappearing off in to the distance as she jogged back to her quarters to make sure he wouldn't catch up with her.

He should just leave it, she'd made it perfectly clear that she didn't want or need his help and it really wasn't his place to interfere in her personal life. But he also knew, that for some reason unknown to him, there was no way he was going to be able to just leave it and spend the rest of the tour with the knowledge that she was going back to that man.


	5. Chapter 5

Just before eleven they were lined up in their sections, all their kit in their bags ready to be flown out in their sections to the FOB. Molly glanced around at the nervous faces of the young soldiers next to her. As the time for them to be flown out had grown nearer their laughing and joking had quietened down and been replaced with the serious expressions they wore now. She guessed that the reality of the situation had hit them now, they were actually about to be flown out in to the middle of a war zone, where the Taliban were waiting for them- their only objective to kill them.

"Okay, listen up everyone!" Captain James called, standing in front of them, a group of nervous and expectant faces looking back at him. "The flight out to the FOB should only take around twenty five minutes. It's important that you remember this is not a training exercise any more. The Taliban are active in the area, and given even half an opportunity they will shoot you. There's every chance that they will be there, watching and waiting as we land. So stay focused, stay alert and stay alive."

His final words were lost in the roar of the helicopters starting up behind him. He waved them forward and the whole section filed towards the doors, clambering in to their seats in the helicopter. Molly caught smurfs eye as the helicopter lifted off, smiling reassuringly at him. She turned back to look out of the door as they rose higher in the the pitch black afghan night. The lights of Bastion becoming smaller and further away in the distance as the helicopter raced off towards their destination.

Her stomach was churning in anticipation, while she might've been older and more experienced than the rest of the lads in her section, she didn't think she'd ever feel completely calm about something like this. But then again, that fear was probably healthy- it would keep her on her toes enough to make sure she stayed alert.

It seemed like only minutes later the helicopter was descending down, landing just about 100 meters away from the FOB they were to call their home for the next six months. As they filed out of the helicopter silently, one by one crouching on the ground as the helicopter lifted off back in to the sky, her eyes scanned the darkness looking for any trace of movement that suggested someone might be watching them.

She felt the tap on her shoulder from Captain James signalling to her to get up and move and she turned and tapped Smurf who was next to her. They all jogged quickly across flat and empty desert between them and the gates of the base, anxious to get behind the walls for some protection. As the huge iron gates squeaked shut behind them she let out a sigh of relief and felt her body relax a little.

She glanced around at the faces of the lads who were looking anxiously at Captain James for their next instructions. "Okay boys." He said, pulling his helmet off and hooking it over his arm. "Your quarters are over there." He pointed to the small tent which was similar to the one they'd just left at Bastion. "The Afghan forces will take tonight's shift of guard duty. I'll sort out a rota for you all to take turns starting from tomorrow. Go and get some sleep for a couple of hours and then we'll discuss what our aim is while we're here."

Molly followed the rest of the lads in to the tent, peeling off her kit which felt like it was glued to her skin and flopping down on the little camp bed with a sigh. She was suddenly exhausted, the last couple of days all catching up with her at once.

It seemed like the second after she closed her eyes she was being shaken awake again. "Dawes! Wake up!" Captain James hissed, shaking her awake.

"Sir?" She mumbled in confusion, her eyes struggling to focus. "What time is it?" She was disorientated and confused.

"It's 5am Dawes." He said. "One of the Afghan forces is injured, he fell down the stairs from the guard posts."

She sat bolt upright in the bed, the rest of the lads still sleeping around her blissfully unaware. She jumped out of bed, reaching for her clothes to pull on over the vest top and shorts she'd been sleeping in.

Charles averted his eyes uncomfortably as she scrambled around to get dressed. His eyes were drawn back to her shoulder and the array of bruises that marked the skin. He noticed as well a long thin scar running down her left shoulder and he longed to ask her how she'd got it. He flushed bright red as she turned back around caught him staring at her as she pulled her jumper down over her head.

"Where is he?" She asked, more focused on the fact that someone was injured than the fact she'd just caught him staring at her like some kind of pervert.

"Medical tent." He answered, jogging after her as she spun around and ran out of the tent.

One saving grace about the FOB being so tiny in comparison with Bastion was that it only took her a couple of seconds to reach the medical tent.

"What happened?" She asked, her training kicking in as she went on to auto pilot, she pulled on a pair of gloves and began assessing the injuries of the man laying on the stretcher in the middle of the room.

She was vaguely aware of someone translating in the background. "They say he was going to get some water and he lost his footing and fell from the top of the stairs." The interpreter told her.

"How high up is that?" She asked. "Can you pass us some gauze please boss." She glanced up at Captain James who was standing in the doorway watching her.

"Probably about twenty feet." He commented, reaching for gauze she'd asked him for and passing it to her.

"Cheers boss." She said, taking the gauze from him and beginning to wipe the blood off the young Afghan soldiers face in an attempt to work out where it was actually coming from. "Did he lose consciousness at all?" She asked, glancing up at the interpreter.

"A few minutes." The man answered her.

She nodded, sticking a fresh strip of gauze over the cut she'd located on the top of his head to stop the blood going everywhere. "Can you ask him if anything else hurts other than his head?"

There was a brief pause while it was translated. "he says his neck hurts."

She exchanged a look with her Captain, placing her hands on either side of the young soldiers head to stop him moving and causing any more damage. "Can you sort out some transport back to Bastion please, I want the doctors to take a look at him. And pass us one of those collars boss." She asked, pointing above his head.

"Can you tell him I'm just putting this around his neck to support it until we can get him xrayed." She asked the interpreter, strapping the collar around her patients neck. "It's just a precaution, that's all." She smiled reassuringly at the soldier lying on the bed, she didn't know how much of what she was saying he understood but he looked terrified.

"There's a helicopter ten minutes out." Captain James told her, coming back in to the tent. She hadn't even really noticed him leave in the first place. Her mind was racing with all the possibilities and things that she needed to think of to give her patient the best chance of recovery.

"Cheers boss." She said, turning back her patient. She wrote down some notes about what had happened and that he'd been complaining of neck pain to pass over to the incoming helicopter crew as they wouldn't hang around long enough for her to explain to them. Tucking the paper in to the stretcher so it didn't get left behind she started to clean up some of the cuts and scrapes on his arm and face while they waited for the helicopter.

"What's he saying?" She asked, looking up at the interpreter. Her patient was mumbling something completely incoherent.

"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense." He shrugged.

"Can you hear me?" She asked, leaning over him. "Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." She gripped on to the mans hands but got nothing in return. She was vaguely aware of the roar of a helicopter over head. "Come on mate, just stay with me."

"Helicopters here." Captain James called, raising his voice above the noise of the helicopter.

"Let's go, now!" Molly yelled, grabbing the top of the stretcher. Everyone else grabbed a part of the stretcher as they rushed out to meet the waiting helicopter. Molly thrust the piece of paper with her scribbles on, explaining what had happened and what she'd done, in to the hands of the waiting medic on board the helicopter, before they turned and ran back in to the base as the helicopter took off again.

As they stood just inside the base, watching as the helicopter took off again, most of two section filed out of the tent to see what was going on, the noise of the helicopter waking them up.

"What's going on?" Smurf asked, squinting against the bright sunlight.

If it hadn't been for what had just happened Molly probably would've laughed at the dishevelled appearance of the rest of her section. They were half dressed and their hair sticking out at all kinds of angles. But her mind was on the young afghan soldier, wondering if he would make it as far as Bastion. She'd got a horrible feeling that he'd got a brain bleed from the way he'd just gone off, but she knew he was in good hands with the medics at Bastion and she'd done all she could.

"There was an accident, one of the afghan forces fell from the guard tower. They're flying him back to Bastion for treatment." Captain James explained. "Go and get some breakfast and we'll talk about it later."

The boys turned and wandered back in the direction of their quarters to finish getting dressed. Molly turned and disappeared back in to the medical tent to tidy up. She needed a few moments alone to go over everything that had just happened and get it right in her own mind. She was picking up the gauze soaked with blood from the floor when Captain James appeared in the doorway.

"Good job there Dawes." He said, sitting down on the bed in the middle of the room where her patient had been lying ten minutes earlier. "Beck was right, you're an excellent medic."

"You will let me know if you hear anything won't you sir?" She asked, shoving the last few things in to a bag to be disposed of.

He nodded. "Do you think he'll be okay?" He asked.

"To be honest with you sir I'm not too hopeful for him." She sighed, sitting herself down on the bed beside him. "I hope I'm wrong, but my guess is he's got some kind of brain bleed from the way he went off." She shook her head. "He's so young, can't have been more than sixteen." The thought made her stomach churn.

"He would've said he was eighteen or he wouldn't have been allowed to join up." He told her, sliding down off the bed and holding his hand out to her. "Come on Dawes."

She ignored the hand he held out and jumped down off the bed on her own. "Where are we going?"

"I had my coffee machine flown out, at great expense..."

"To the tax payer." She interjected.

He laughed. "Either way, I think you've earned a coffee Dawes. And besides, it's the tax payer that benefits because I'm not a fully functioning soldier until I've had my first cup of coffee in the morning."

She rolled her eyes at him, hesitating for a second before following him over to his quarters.

"I'd better see what's so special about this coffee then." She said with a wink.


	6. Chapter 6

"Alright Dawes?" She flinched at the sound of his voice behind her. She'd been enjoying the peace and quiet of the deserted camp, choosing to get up as the sun rose so she could have an hour or so to herself to think. "I thought you might need this." He sat himself down beside her, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of her.

"Cheers boss." She forced herself to smile at him.

"You're up early." He commented, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"Couldn't sleep." She shrugged, sipping at her tea. It was scalding hot and burned her mouth, but at least the pain was a distraction from her thoughts.

"Jet lag?" He asked. He had a feeling that wasn't what was troubling her at all, but he also didn't know how far he could push her about her personal life before she'd snap and refuse to talk to him any more.

She shook her head. "I'm fine. You know what it's like, just takes a few days to settle in. Once I get in to a routine I'll be fine."

"Missing home?" He tried again. He wasn't sure what it was about her that meant he couldn't just leave it. She obviously didn't want to talk to him about whatever it was she'd got going on, but he kept coming back time after time, trying to drag a little bit more information out of her.

"Something like that." She whispered, almost so quietly that he couldn't hear her. "Do you ever just wonder how your life could've turned out if one tiny, insignificant thing hadn't happened?"

"We all do Dawes." He shifted in his seat slightly, turning to look at her. As she sat hunched over her cup of tea, staring in to it as though it was going to give her the answers she so desperately needed, he realised just how tired she looked. The dark circles under her eyes were nearly the same colour as the dark purple bruises that marked the pale skin of her arms, exposed by the vest top she was wearing. He glanced over at her shoulder, the bruises beginning now to fade and turn a yellowish colour. "But you can't dwell on it forever, or it would end up eating you alive."

She sighed. "I dunno sir, I mean you come out here and willingly put yourself in the line of fire only to end up falling off the bloody guard tower in the safety of the base. How is that even fair?"

"Life isn't fair Dawes." He stated simply. "Terrible things happen to good people, people find themselves in situations that they should never have to deal with and sometimes the people you thought you loved turn out not to be the person you thought they were after all." His brain idly wondered how Rebecca was getting on finalising their divorce. If you'd asked him a year ago, he would've been sure that they'd still be together, maybe even have had another baby. But Dawes was right, things changed and life happened- wether you liked it or not.

"Are you going to spend this whole six months subtly reminding me about the fact I've got to go back to Artan?" She asked, the words flying out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Her mum was right, if she'd learned to filter her words she could've saved herself a whole load of trouble.

"You don't have to go back to him though, do you?" He reminded her, raising an eyebrow. This was the first time that she'd actually acknowledged to him that they were talking about her supposed boyfriend and he couldn't help but wonder what that meant.

She twisted the ring that was hanging around her neck between her fingers, silent for a moment. "See, it might be easy for you to say that I shouldn't go back to him, but you don't really know me and you definitely don't know him." She said.

"I know that no matter what you think you've done to deserve him treating you like this, no one ever deserves to be treated like that." He frowned. "Why are you trying to defend him? Look at what he's done to you!" God she was frustrating! Why was she so keen to defend this man at every available opportunity when the evidence of the damage he'd done to her was clearly visible.

"Because." She said, taking a moment to calm herself so she didn't scream at her Captain. This was the exact reason why she hadn't wanted to have this conversation with him. She cursed herself again for choosing the bloody house next door to him. "He's always been there for me. I wasn't always like this, not that long ago I really didn't have my shit together. He was all I had and he was always there when I needed him. So yeah, he might not be the man he used to be, but he's going through a rough patch- and let's face it we've all been there- me walking out on him isn't going to do anything other than make a bad situation even worse."

"You're going to end up getting hurt Molly." He said quietly.

"Do you honestly think I don't know that?" She snapped back at him, her voice raised. "Do you really think that I'm not painfully aware every time I go home that he's going to be there, waiting for me and as I walk through the door I've got no idea if he's got to hug me or punch me? I'm a medic for christs sake, I'm more than aware of all the ways I could get hurt. I'm laying there awake in my bed at night dreading the time for my supposed R&R coming because that means I'm going to have to go back to my real life for two weeks, and right now I'd rather be out here facing the bloody taliban than trying to deal with Artan."

He opened his mouth to speak as she took a sip of her tea, but she slammed the mug back down on the table before he had a chance to actually say anything.

"You don't know me, you only know the me on tour. You've never met Artan or any of my family. You don't get to make judgements about my situation and try and give me life advice on what I should do. Yes, I've made some almighty screw ups in my time, and believe you me I'm still paying for most of them. But the point is they've been my own screw ups. Do you honestly think you're the first person who's tried to 'rescue me' or whatever it is you think you're going to achieve here?"

"I'm trying to help you!" He interjected, confused by where this sudden outburst of anger had come from.

"I don't need you to try and save me from myself! When this six months is up you'll get your medic back and I'll be off to where ever they send me next, then you can forget I ever existed and go back to whatever it is you do when you're not barking orders at people. Deal?"

"Molly, I-" he tried again, but she wasn't going to give him the chance to speak again.

"I don't want to talk to you between now and the end of this tour unless it's work related." She snapped, standing up from the table and marching off back in the direction of their sleeping quarters.

She flopped down on to her bed, closest to the door, as the rest of the lads continued to snore around her, blissfully unaware. As she laid on her side, staring curiously at the wall the tears began to well in her eyes.

She felt guilty. She'd taken out her anger at Artan on Captain James because he was there. He was only trying to help her, she knew that, but the problem was she was beyond help by this point if she was being honest. She'd spent long enough with Artan now that she knew she wasn't going to just get up and leave him- and so did he, something he reminded her of on an almost daily basis.

She should've got up and walked away the first time he'd hit her, but she'd been rooted to the ground, frozen in a mixture of shock and fear. She hadn't seen it coming at all, unlike now where she could read the look in his eyes from the other side of the room.

She'd been gone for nearly a week, but it felt like months. Being away from him had given her time to think and get her head straight, but in a way it had also given her time to forget. Time to forget the way she felt when he leered at her, calling her fat and ugly. It had given her time to forget the way it had made her feel when he'd drunkenly spat at her that she could never leave him because who else was going to want to take on a slut like her?

She'd always done a good job of blocking the memories out of her mind. If she allowed herself to dwell on some of the things he'd said and done to her then it would've destroyed her by now. But lying alone in the tiny little camp bed, she found herself reliving it all in her head once more, and she couldn't help but wonder if Captain James was right.

Why did she keep going back to him? Was it some kind of sick sense of loyalty towards him? Or maybe it was fear of the unknown? After all she hadn't ever really known life without him, they'd met when they were so young.

All she knew was, if they carried on the way they were at the moment then eventually she was going to end up getting seriously hurt if not killed. He'd said it to her himself, that if the taliban didn't get her he would once she got home. A chill ran up her spine as she wondered just how serious he might've been.

She hadn't spoken to him since then, she'd been too frightened to pick up the phone and call him incase he decided to try and pick another fight with her. And he hadn't ever written her a letter the entire time she'd been in the army so she doubted he'd be sending her any mail any time soon. Maybe she could just ignore him for six months and then work out what she was going to do about him when she got back.

She needed to find a way to clear her head, and quickly. They were due to go out on patrol in a couple of hours and there was no way she could focus on her job with all this going round in her head. She needed to focus on her job, because if she wasn't on her game then it wasn't just her life at risk out there, it was the whole section and she'd never be able to live with herself if anything happened to any of them because she was distracted thinking about Artan.

So she forced the thoughts down in to the darkest corner of her mind, pushing them back and made a promise to herself that she wouldn't allow them back out until she was safely back on the base in six months time.


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you so much to everyone who's reading this and reviewing. It makes my day to read all your comments and it's lovely to know that you're all enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! I'm having so much fun writing this at the minute that you're getting another update already, enjoy!_

"Dawes, have you got a minute?" Captain James called as she walked past the door to his cabin later on that evening.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself for what was about to come. They'd been out on patrol for most of the day and he'd barely said two words to her. She wasn't sure if he was just doing as she asked and not talking to her, or if he was angry with her.

"Everything alright boss?" She asked, standing in the door way.

He looked up at her, a mixture of stress and exhaustion on his face. "I had a phone call from one of the doctors at Bastion earlier." He said slowly.

"He didn't make it, did he?" She asked. She already knew the answer from the look on his face. "You can just come out and say it, I can handle it."

He shook his head. "They lost him in the helicopter on the way back. The doctor confirmed what you thought, massive brain haemorrhage. The poor lad never stood a chance."

She was quiet for a moment, digesting what had just been said. "Thanks for letting me know." She said eventually, leaning back against the wall behind her. She'd known this news was coming, but it had still knocked the wind out of her a little. He was just so young.

"Coffee?" Charles suggested, pointing to the coffee machine beside him.

She hesitated for a second, before nodding in agreement, wandering over to sit on the empty chair beside him. "Cheers boss."

"Any time Dawes." He smiled, turning to make them a cup of coffee each. "My mother always said there's not much that a good cup of coffee can't fix."

"If only it was that easy." She mused out loud, taking the cup he offered her. "I've never been much of a coffee drinker, maybe that's where I've been going wrong all these years."

"I wish she was right." He agreed, and for a moment they were both lost in their own thoughts. "Life would be a lot easier if a coffee was all it took."

"It feels different this time." She mumbled, thinking out loud. "I can't quite put my finger on why or how, it just doesn't feel the same."

"In a good way or a bad way?" He asked, leaning back in his chair and watching her as she swirled her coffee around in the cup.

"I dunno." She admitted. "I've just got this horrible feeling hanging over me that something bad is going to happen, maybe I'm finally losing it or something." She forced herself to smile in attempt to laugh it off.

"Everyone is getting through this tour in one piece." He said firmly. He couldn't face the thought of anyone being injured, it had taken him months before he could sleep through the night after what had happened to Geraint, and even now he wasn't entirely sure he had got over it. Looking at Smurf all day every day didn't exactly make it any easier.

"That sounds good to me." She smiled, sipping at her coffee.

"Oh you've just reminded me Dawes!" He suddenly sat bolt upright in his chair, turning and rummaging through his desk draw. "I couldn't find you earlier when I gave the rest of the lads their mail, but this came for you."

He hadn't been able to find her because she'd deliberately hidden herself away in the medical tent, wanting to spare herself the embarrassment of being the only person in the section who didn't have anyone who missed them enough to write to them. She took the thin cream coloured envelope from his hand, staring at it in confusion.

She hadn't ever had any mail on any of her previous tours. Artan wasn't the kind of person to write her a long letter about how much he'd missed her, and she looked at the hand writing on the outside of the envelope she knew it wasn't from his. She tore open the envelope, her curiosity getting the better of her, frowning as she read the first few lines.

 _Molly,_

 _I hope you're okay and you're safe out there? We didn't even know that you had gone on another tour. I rang the base trying to get hold you and they told me that you'd moved to a different section and gone back out to Afghanistan. Stay safe out there, we're so proud of you._

 _I hope you don't mind me writing to you out of the blue like this? I know you didn't want to talk to us, and that's only fair after what your Dad said. But you're still my daughter, and I called every week for months and Artan just said you wouldn't talk to me, so I gave up. I know I shouldn't have done, but you know what things are like around here- the kids are all over the place and your dad ain't exactly much help. And then before I knew it a couple of years had passed, and well I just didn't know what to say._

 _I was sitting there watching the news about those poor soldiers who'd been killed an explosion and I was just so frightened that something might happen to you before I got a chance to say I was sorry. I'm so proud of you for going out there and making something of yourself Mols, and he might not admit it but your Dad is too._

 _Stay safe out there Mols, we miss you. Come and see us when you get back if you can? The kids would all love to see you._

 _All my love,_

 _Mum xxx_

She didn't actually realise she was crying until she saw the tears land on the paper, the ink running slightly as it came in to contact with the water.

"Dawes?" His soft voice reminded her that she wasn't alone.

"Sorry." She choked, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "It's from my Mum, I wasn't expecting that at all."

"Is everything okay?" He asked, she could hear the concern in his voice.

She nodded. "It's just a bit of of the blue, I haven't heard from them in years." She was still reeling from the fact her mum said she'd been trying to call and Artan had told them she didn't want to speak to them.

Not long after they'd moved in together when she'd first joined the army, he'd lost his temper with her one night and smashed her phone to pieces. He'd bought her a new one the next day, with a new phone number, and told her he'd text her mum and let her know what the new number was. She was now starting to realise that he never had and that was why her Mum had never called.

He'd never been very keen on Molly going to visit her family. She could only imagine that he was worried she might tell her mum about what he'd been up to. He'd always got on quite well with her dad, but then she'd joined the army and her dad had told her she wasn't welcome anymore so they'd stopped visiting. She still used to see her Mum occasionally, but after she'd got her new phone and her mum had stopped calling she'd stopped trying to get back in touch. She didn't need the pain of being told out right that she wasn't wanted there anymore.

Instead she'd focused on trying to settle in to life with Artan, making the most of what she'd already got. She'd tried to convince herself that they could be happy together and they could make things work. Then she'd been deployed on her first tour and things had gone rapidly down hill from there. She realised now that Artan had relished in the fact that she didn't have anyone other than him, she'd got no where to turn to when he'd hit her that first time, no where to go if she left him. He had her trapped and he loved it.

"When was the last time you saw your family Dawes?" Captain James asked, bringing her back to the real world.

She gulped down the last of her coffee, shoving the mug on to the table beside her as she continued to stare at the letter in front of her. "About four years ago." She said softly. "I went back to see the, the weekend before I passed out of training. My dad told me I wasn't welcome there any more, slammed the door in my face and told me not to ever bother coming back. I don't think he meant it, he was a bit pissed and angry that I wasn't going to be around to help Mum with the kids anymore. I never heard from them again after that. Do you get to see much of your family?" She asked, trying to turn the subject away from herself again.

"I was living with my parents for a bit when I first split up with my wife, but my mum can be a bit suffocating so I found myself a house to rent and got out of there as soon as I could. That's how we ended up as neighbours." He explained.

She nodded slowly, her mind was still reeling. Why did her Mum have to wait until she was stuck in Afghanistan for six months to get back in touch with her? God she wished she could jump on the tube right now and explain what had happened. She could write back, but it wasn't the same, and there was no telling how long it would take to get there.

"What happened with your wife?" She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"It's okay." He smiled. "It's a bit like what you were saying really, she didn't love the army life. We'd argue a lot about me never being there and then I think this tour was the final straw for her, she couldn't face the thought of putting everything on hold for another six months, sitting at home and praying I'd come home in one piece. I get where she's coming from though, it wasn't really fair on her."

"If only everyone could be that honest." She mused quietly. Her mind was working in over time, trying to process all this new information. How was she supposed to focus and do her job when she'd just had a bombshell like this dropped on her? She was going to have to figure it out, and before their patrol the next morning. She needed to focus and forget about all this before she ended up getting herself killed.

She picked up the photograph that her mum had tucked in to the back of the letter and stared at it for a second. So much had changed in the years she'd been gone, that was shown by how much the children had grown up. She'd missed out on so much of their lives, and suddenly she felt angry at Artan for the role he'd played in this, as though he'd cheated her out of getting to watch her brothers and sisters grow up.

"I can't believe he told them I didn't want to see them." She mumbled in disbelief. "I've spent all this time thinking they hated me, that they were ashamed of me, and all because he told them I didn't want to see them anymore."

The amount of times she'd locked herself in the bathroom, her little place of safety behind a locked door where Artan couldn't get to her, turned on the shower so he couldn't hear her crying and wished that she could phone her mum and ask her what to do.

Would she still be with Artan now if she'd had the option of going back to her parents to get away from him? Almost certainly what, and he knew that. He'd managed to manipulate her in to feeling she was completely alone in the world apart from him. She was angry, but more than that she was relieved. Maybe there was a way out for her after all.

She was due to go on her dreaded R&R a little before halfway through her tour, and she hadn't told Artan when she was due back. He'd have no idea at all if she went to visit her Mum instead of going straight home to him. Her stomach churned a little at the thought of what would happen if he ever found out, the last time she'd defied him she'd spent three days in hospital. But this time, he'd never have to know.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, I've been thinking." Smurf said, turning to look at her over his shoulder quickly to see if she was listening. "You and me should go to Vegas when we get back."

She snorted with laughter. "What makes you think I'd want to go to Vegas with a Welsh wanker like you?"

"Why wouldn't you? There's women out there who'd kill for the chance." He retorted.

She rolled her eyes at him, turning to the left to scan the empty desert around them as they continued their patrol onwards. "If that's what you think then-"

The shot came out of nowhere. They all flung themselves in to the ditch to their left for cover, all of them looking around waiting for instructions.

"Did anyone see where that came from?" Captain James' voice came through their head sets. He'd run up to the guard tower as soon as he'd heard the shot, and he could now see his section crouched in the ditch about four hundred metres away from the base.

"I didn't see a thing boss. Maybe the compound over on the right?" Kinders replied.

There was a brief pause, everyone poised and ready with the fingers of the triggers of their guns, ready to go if need be as they waited for their instructions.

"Right, one at a time you're going to run back to the base, as fast as you can and don't look back. Got it?" Captain James voice was clear and calm.

Molly glanced around her at the nervous faces of the lads as they huddled in the ditch. It was the first time they'd come under enemy fire. They'd been trained for this moment but there was nothing that could ever truly prepare you for knowing someone was trying to kill you.

"Got it boss." Kinders shot back. "Listen up boys. Smurf you're going first, everyone else cover him."

Smurf glanced back at her and she could see the fear on his face. "You'll be fine." She told him, trying her best to sound reassuring. "Just run, they're not going to get you, we're going to get them."

"You need to move it Smurf, now!" Captain James' voice came through again, jolting them all in to action.

Molly shifted a little, positioning herself to her gun was resting on the top of the ditch as she scanned the ground in front of them. She felt Smurf tap her on the shoulder, then she heard the sound of his footsteps as he turned and sprinted back in to the base. Her heart was pounding in her chest, waiting to hear that he'd got back there safely.

"Sir." Qaseem spoke quietly in to the radio. "They say they're targeting the female. They know there is a female medic here."

Her blood ran cold as he spoke. They were aiming for her. All her worries about what she was going to do when she got home to Artan were irrelevant if she didn't make it home at all. She'd found herself in the line of fire hundreds of times, but she'd never once been the direct target.

"We need to get Dawes back in here." Captain James said abruptly. "Fingers, you're next."

She glanced to her left as Fingers made his run for it, before turning her eyes to the compound ahead of them where they thought the shots had come from.

"Dawes." Her Captains voice was back in her ear seconds later, and she breathed a sigh of relief knowing that meant Fingers was safely back inside. "You're next." He ordered. "Eyes on the compound every one."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves enough. The adrenaline coursing through her body made her legs feel like jelly and she was beginning to seriously doubt if she'd even be able to run.

"Go Dawes." Kinders shouted, glancing over at her.

She swore under her breath, forcing herself out of the ditch and running across the open space between the ditch and the safety of the base. Every part of her wanted to stay in that ditch where they couldn't get her, but she couldn't stay there forever. The feeling of relief as she ran back through the gates of the base was overwhelming, but she knew she wouldn't entirely relax until the rest of her section were safely there with her.

She could see Captain James up on the guard tower with some of the Afghan forces, barking orders through the radio to Kinders. A few seconds later Brains ran through the gates back in to the compound. It took a few minutes, Kinders and Qaseem the last to run back through as the gates squeaked closed again.

They all stood for a moment, catching their breath. Captain James jogged down the stairs from the guard tower. "Is every one okay?"He asked, glancing around at the faces in front of him. They all nodded back at him, waiting for their next instructions.

"Take ten minutes or so, then we'll talk about what just happened okay?" He told them. They all started to disperse, wandering off to get a drink. "You okay Dawes?" He asked. She was still standing next to him, staring in to space.

She nodded slowly. "They were aiming for me."

"Don't dwell on it Dawes." He said, forcing a smile. "We'll talk about it later, I'll talk to Qaseem and see what I heard and if we can figure out why they were targeting you." He didn't want to tell her how anxious he'd been standing on the guard tower, praying he wasn't about to watch them get shot in front of him with nothing he could do.

"I just don't understand why." She frowned. She felt so confused, now that she was safely back inside the base and the fear had subsided she just wanted to know why.

Charles went to put a hand on her shoulder, trying to find a way to offer her some kind of comfort, but as he put his hand out she flinched away from him. It was a reflex reaction, the result of years spent with Artan and she hadn't meant it at all, but he looked so hurt.

"Sorry... I.." She didn't really know what to say to him. She was a mess, that was the honest truth and she was only just starting to realise what the time she'd spent with Artan had done to her.

"You don't need to apologise Dawes." He told her, stepping back away from her. "I should probably go and talk to the lads." He quickly walked off to where the lads were beginning to form a little group. He needed to remind himself to keep things professional with her. He'd let himself get overly involved with her personal life, he was her Captain and at the end of the day he needed to keep his distance.

He hadn't realised really until he'd heard Qaseem say that she was the target of the shots how attached he was becoming to her. It was stupid, she'd done absolutely nothing to indicate that she might feel the same way and then there was also the fact that he was her superior. Besides, she had more than enough going on in her life to deal with, the last thing she needed was him adding to it.

He'd stay strictly professional from this point on, he made a promise to himself. If she needed him for anything, then of course he'd be there, but he needed to stop interfering for everyone's sake.

"Right then you lot!" He called, getting the attention of the rest of the section. He was aware of Dawes walking over towards the medical tent out of the corner of his eye. "What have we just learned?"

* * *

She sat down in front of the computer, contemplating calling Artan on Skype. She'd barely heard from him since she'd been deployed and she figured she should at least try and make an effort. Then again, she'd just been shot at by the Taliban and by some miracle survived it unscathed- the last thing she felt like doing.

She hesitated for a moment, before grabbing her phone and pulling up her Mum's contact details. After a quick calculation to work out what time it was back home she pressed dial, wondering if her Mum would even answer if she didn't recognise the number.

"Hello?" Her Mum answered on the third ring and she almost dropped the phone at the surprise of hearing her Mum's voice on the end of the phone.

"Mum? It's me Molly."

"Oh my God, Mols! How are you? Did you get my letter? Are you staying safe out there?" She fired off the questions one after another.

"I'm fine Mum, it's just a bit blood hot out here that's all. How's Dad and all the kids?" She asked, deflecting the questions back to them. She could feel her eyes filling with tears already. It had just hit her how much she'd missed her Mum.

"Well, you know what your fathers like- massive pain in the ass as always." Her Mum laughed. "Kids are running me ragged too. How's Artan coping with you being away?"

"He's fine." She answered, wishing her Mum hadn't asked.

"You guys finally going to be getting married soon?" Her Mum asked excitedly. "Oh I do love a wedding!"

She was silent for a second, the idea of being tied to Artan for the rest of her life making her stomach churn. "Mum I've got to go, someone's calling me." She lied. "Give Dad and the kids my love, hopefully I'll get to come see you when I'm on my leave. Love you."

She hung up the phone quickly before her Mum had a chance to say anything else. The tears spilled down her cheeks as she sat staring at the photo of the kids her Mum had sent her. She'd missed out on so much of their lives and she could never get that time back.

The computer lit up with a message from Artan and her stomach churned once again.

 _I miss you. Call me soon?_

She wanted to laugh as she read it. Did he miss her because he actually wanted her there, or did he just miss having her there to scream at? She shut the computer down without replying to him, knowing she'd be tempted to fire back some kind of sarcastic response to him now and she'd no doubt pay for it when she got home for her leave in a couple of weeks.

Captain James had told her earlier that the temp medic that was coming from Bastion to cover for her while she went on her R&R would be arriving on Friday. She was only getting a week, they were too short on medics to spare her any longer. She was more than okay with that, right now she'd rather be back in that ditch being shot at than going home to Artan.

* * *

 _I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter? Next update will be Molly going home for her R &R. A few people have suggested in reviews that they'd like to see Captain James go with Molly on her R&R... I'm not sure how likely that is to happen in real life, but if that's what you guys would like to see happen then let me know and I'll do my best to make it work for you!_


	9. Chapter 9

"Can you get me some pants, please Dawes. Anything, primark or something!"

"Eye drops, please. All the dust and shits getting in my eyes!"

"Lads, leave poor Dawes alone!" Captain James laughed, coming out of his quarters as he heard them all shouting their orders at her as she packed her stuff. He peered around the doorway to their tent. "Dawes is going home for some RR not to do all your shopping for you!"

She glanced up from shoving her clothes in to her Bergen. "Cheers boss." She laughed. "I'll have to bring another bloody bag back with me the amount of stuff this lot want me to bring back for them."

He laughed. "The temp medic will be here in a second for the hand over." He said, gesturing towards the medical tent.

"Cheers boss. I'll go get things sorted out." She said, throwing her bag back down on the bed and heading for the door. He followed her out, standing in the entrance to the med tent watching as she straightened everything out. He'd promised himself he'd stay away from her and wouldn't get involved, yet a couple of hours later he'd found himself pleading with Major Beck to let him have the same weeks RR as her. He'd tried to convince himself that it was out of genuine concern for her, that he was worried about what might happen if she went home and there was no one to look out for her. And while that was true, he knew deep down it was also because the idea of being separated from her for that long was unbearable.

He couldn't quite put his finger on what had happened, somewhere along the line he'd changed his mind about her completely. She was completely different from the nervous medic he'd been introduced to on the base, and watching her laugh and joke with the lads was a stark contrast with the person she'd been when he first met her. That only made it worse, knowing that she was going back to that man in a matter of hours.

"I've got some good news for you Dawes." He smiled, and she turned to face him, hand on her hips.

"You've finally got the boys to agree to stop trying to shave gangster nicks in to their eyebrows every time you turn your back?" She asked, looking hopeful.

He laughed. "I think we both know that's an impossible task... I was actually going to tell you that you'll be lucky enough to have my company all the way back home! I'm going back for my RR too. "

"Does this mean I don't have to go and buy you that bloody coffee then?" She asked. He'd given her a set of complicated instructions on the coffee he wanted from the Nespresso shop a couple of weeks ago when he'd run out.

"Quite the opposite Dawes." He laughed. "There's no way on earth I'll be going to London, couldn't think of anything worse. I'm relying on you to do this for me, other wise the second half of this tour is going to be a nightmare."

"Knock Knock." A voice called from outside the tent. Jackie peering round the door.

"Oh my god! Jackie!" Molly shrieked, Captain James wincing a little as the two medics grabbed hold of each other. "How are you? I haven't seen you for ages!"

"I heard you'd come back out with another section!"

Jackie said, throwing her Bergen down.

"I'll leave you two to it." Captain James said, shuffling towards the door. "We need to leave in ten minutes Dawes." He called back as he ducked out of the tent and headed off to get his stuff, leaving the two of them to try and catch up on everything they'd missed in the space of ten minutes.

"Have you got much planned for this week?" He asked, as they sat huddled together in the back of the plane six hours later. They were almost home, the plane beginning its final decent down on to the base.

She shook her head. "I'll go and see my mum for a bit first before I go home. Then I've got this awful Captain who's demanded I go and buy him some awfully expensive coffee." She joked. "What about you boss?"

"That coffee is the most important part of this whole trip." He said with a wink. "I'll see my parents I expect and my son."

"How old is your son?" She asked curiously, she hadn't ever heard him mention his son before.

"He's six." He smiled fondly. "Mind you though he's got the attitude of a fifteen year old. My mums been looking after him a bit while I've been away and he's been causing her so much trouble."

She laughed. "Mum always said I was a nightmare right from birth, never got any better either boss."

He pulled a face. "Thanks for that Dawes. I feel so much better now."

"Anytime boss." She laughed.

Fifteen minutes later they were walking back in to the terminal. The soldiers around them ran forwards, running in to the arms of their family members that were waiting to greet them.

"I'm telling you, there's only one thing worse than having your family turn up here- actually having your family turn up." She laughed.

"Rebecca used to meet me here the first couple of times, then she lost interest. I was half expecting my mother to turn up this time but thankfully it looks like I've been spared that humiliation."

She laughed. "She can't be that bad. You should see my bloody lot." She looked up at him and laughed.

"Molly!" She spun around at the sound of someone calling her name, only to find the last person she'd ever expected to see standing there waiting for her.

"Artan?" She forced herself to smile. He'd be pissed off if she didn't look pleased to see him. "How did you know I was coming back? I was going to surprise you!" She lied. She was in so much trouble, he was smiling at her and being pleasant in front of everyone here now, but he had that look in his eye that told her as soon as they got home she was in for it.

"Your mum called me and asked if I was picking you up from the base of if her and your dad should come and get you." He smiled, raising an eyebrow at her. "And who's this?" He asked, gesturing to Captain James who was stood behind her, watching the exchange.

"This is Captain James." She said, briefly glancing over her shoulder. "We should get going, I'm exhausted. See you later boss."

She glanced back at him over her shoulder as Artan grabbed a hold of her hand tightly and hauled her off in the direction of the door. From the outside it looked like affection the way he was holding her hand, but his grip was too tight and possessive as he crushed her fingers against his own.

They sat in silence for the short car journey back to the house, her stomach was churning as the thought of ways to get out of what was inevitably about to happen. She should never have tried to plan to see her mum behind his back. He always found out, a lesson she'd learned painfully more than a few times before. But being away from him and listening to Captain James tell her how she didn't deserve this had given her hope that it didn't have to be like this.

But seeing Artan standing there waiting for her had brought her crashing back down to the reality of the situation. The unlocked the front door in silence, she could see from the tension in his body he was struggling to control himself until they got in the house. She walked in, kicked off her boots and dropped her Bergen on the floor and as she went to stand up again he grabbed her by the hair. She cried out in pain as he shoved her backwards against the wall.

"Did you seriously think you could sneak off to your Mum and I wouldn't find out?" He leered at her. "What was your plan? Go down there and tell her all about what a terrible man I am? Do you really think your good for nothing Dad is going to come up here and save you?" He twisted his fingers in her hair and she stretched up on to her toes to try and stop him pulling on her hair.

"She wrote to me. I just wanted to see the kids." She cried in protest.

He suddenly released her hair and she crumpled down to the floor and curled in to a ball, waiting for the blow that was inevitably about to come. "Do you think I'm stupid?" He screamed, bending down and getting right in her face. "Look at you! You're supposed to be a soldier but you're pathetic." He kicked her in the stomach, muttering under his breath as he turned and walked away.

A quiet sob escaped her lips as she pushed herself upright. What had she been thinking? She'd let herself believe what Captain James had been telling her, that she deserved better and she could leave Artan. He reappeared in the doorway, glaring at her as she struggled to stand up. Now she was going to pay the price of thinking she could get away from him- and there was no one there to save her.


	10. Chapter 10

He was sitting on the sofa, nodding along with some story his mum was telling him about a holiday she'd gone on with his father. He wasn't listening to her at all. He was too busy straining his ears in an attempt to hear what was going on next door. He'd been able to hear the muffled sound of shouting all day, the occasional bang or crash which he could only imagine was caused by something being thrown or smacked against the wall between the two houses. He desperately wanted to go and knock on the door and check she was okay, but he knew that doing that was only going to make things worse for her. He'd seen the way Artan had looked at him when he'd picked Molly up from the base, as though he was sizing him up. As tempting as it was to go round there and give him a taste of his own medicine he'd only end up making more trouble.

"Charles you're not even listening to me!" His mother complained, rolling her eyes. "I've not seen you in months and then I finally get you back for a couple of days and it's like you're not here anyway!"

"Sorry Mum." He sighed. "I've just got a lot going on in my head that's all, it's been a bit of a funny tour this one."

"Rebecca always said you were like a different person every time you came home."

His mother said, and he could tell from the tone of her voice she was still a bit bitter about the news of his and Rebecca's divorce. As far has his parents had been concerned she'd been the perfect daughter in law and they'd been less than pleased when he'd chosen the army over her.

"It's just a bit weird, being suddenly dropped back in to my normal life." He sighed. Winding as he heard another crash from next door.

His mother pulled a face of disgust. "Why on earth would you want to come and live here all on your own Charles?" She asked him. "I mean look at this place, I know it's close to the base but the neighbours sound like their a nightmare! Why don't you just come home with me?"

* * *

"Artan please! I said I was sorry!" She sobbed, cowering against the wall. She was vaguely aware of the taste of blood on her lips as it streamed from her nose. "I just wanted to see the kids, I should've told you, I'm sorry!"

He stood a couple of feet away from her, a bottle of beer in his left hand despite the fact it wasn't even lunch time, and the remains of another bottle smashed by his feet. "Were you going to take that Captain of yours home to your mother instead?" He screamed. "I saw the way he looked at you Molly! You're nothing but a dirty whore, screwing someone else while you're supposed to be working!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" She cried as he threw the bottle he'd been holding at her, missing her head by inches.

"Did you tell him all about what an awful person I am?" He slurred, resting a hand on the wall either side of her so she was trapped between his arms. The smell of alcohol on his breath made her nauseous. He raised his hand up to the side of her face, running his fingers over the skin below her left eye which was now bruised and swollen. "I bet you didn't tell him what a dirty little whore you are though did you? He'd never look at you the same if I told him what you're really like. How this is all your fault really, you just don't know when to stop Molly do you? You just have to keep pushing me and pushing me..." He his hand recoiled and slapped her across the face before she had time to react, the force of it knocking her side ways.

They were pressed up against the wall that separated her house from Captain James' and she briefly wondered if he could hear what was going on. She hadn't heard from him in the three days they'd been home, but she'd noticed a car pull up outside earlier so she guessed he had company. Artan was still shouting at her, but she'd stopped listening to him. Her mind wandering to think about what the lads in her section were up to now, hoping that they were all okay with out here. It was easier to just think of other things when Artan was like this. Nothing she said or did was going to make it any better for her, so she'd mastered the art of pretending she wasn't there which at the moment just seemed to be angering him even more.

She was so busy pretending she was anywhere but there, that she didn't see it coming when he launched himself at her again, landing a kick in her ribs that sent her flying in to the table to their left. Her head hit the corner of it with a sickening crunch as she gasped to catch her breath. She was vaguely aware of the front door slamming as he stormed off, to buy more alcohol no doubt. She raised a hand to the back of her head, looking at her fingers which were now stained red with blood. She pulled herself upright and the room began to spin around her as she staggered towards the door. She needed help, she was aware of that. All the possibilities of her injuries running through her mind.

She stumbled out of the front door, vaguely aware of the fact all she had on was her pyjama shorts and a West Ham shirt. "Now what Molly?" She muttered to herself, looking around. She hadn't got anywhere to go, and she'd probably got about ten minutes before Artan would be back from the shop at the end of the road ready for round two. The only option she had was to knock on her Captains door, but that was the last thing she wanted to do. He didn't need to have his R&R ruined by her.

* * *

His mother had just gone to make yet another cup of tea when there was a knock at the door. He opened the door, expecting to find a salesman trying to sell him something, only to find Dawes in her pyjamas.

"Dawes?" He stepped aside to let her in. "What happened?" She was in her pyjamas, blood streaming from her nose and her eyes red from crying. Her left eye was swollen and bruised, her lip split and bleeding.

"I'm so sorry, I just didn't have anywhere else to go. I didn't know what to do... I just..." she sobbed.

"You don't have to be sorry." He said, putting an arm gently around her shoulders and moving her forward a little so that he could close the door behind her. "What happened?"

"I don't know." She sobbed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have come here, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Sit down Molly." He said, and suddenly he was the authoritative Captain again. "I'll get you a cup of tea and we'll talk about this."

She nodded hesitantly, perching on the end of one of the sofas. Charles turned and disappeared in to the kitchen.

"Did I hear you talking to someone out there?" His mother asked, pouring the tea.

"Yeah, it's the medic from my section. She lives next door. Can you just give us five minutes Mum?" He asked.

His mum nodded. "Does she want a cup of tea?"

He nodded. "Thanks Mum."

"You're bleeding." He noticed as he walked back through in to the living room.

She flinched at the sound of his voice behind her unexpectedly. She raised her fingers up to the back of her head again. "Oh, yeah." She mumbled. She'd almost forgotten about that. Sitting here in front of him now she suddenly felt incredibly awkward. This had been a mistake.

"Let me have a look." He said, bending down beside her.

"It's fine, really. I'm fine." She mumbled.

"Dawes, I'm no medic, but I'm fairly sure that you're not fine." He said, reaching out towards the back of her head slowly so he didn't startle her. He parted her hair, cringing as he saw the cut underneath.

"How did you do this?" He asked, not that he was sure he actually wanted to know the answer.

"Hit it in the corner of the table I think." She whispered, avoiding looking him in the eye. Her yes started to fill with tears again.

"I'm no expert Dawes but I think you're going to need some stitches in that." He sighed, straightening up.

"It'll be okay. I've had worse." She mumbled.

He didn't doubt her for a second, the thought made his stomach churn.

"Do you take sugar in your tea love?" His Mum stuck her head round the kitchen door, not even batting an eyelid at the woman sat on his sofa crying- as though it was some kind of every day occurrence.

Molly flushed bright red, squirming uncomfortably. "No thank you, um..."

His mum flashed her a smile, disappearing back in to the kitchen and reappearing a few seconds later with a steaming mug in either hand. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, it needs a bit of a clean. You know what men are like when they live on their own." She smiled, closing the door behind them and leaving them alone.

"I told you she thinks everything in the world can be fixed with a hot drink." He joked, and she half smiled at him.

"I should go, I don't know why I came here sorry boss." She went to stand up, trying to ignore the spinning sensation in her head.

He shook his head, putting a hand on her shoulder and pushing her back down gently. "You're not going anywhere. You're going to drink your tea and then I'll get Mum to drive us to the hospital and get that sorted out okay?"

She nodded reluctantly, sipping at her tea. The last thing she wanted to do was go to the hospital, they were all going to give her that same pitying look and tell her that they could help her out of it. She'd been there countless times before. "I'll call a taxi, you don't want to spend all day sat up the hospital with me. You should be spending the day with your mum."

"We insist." His Mum shouted from the kitchen, Charles rolled his eyes. Of course she was in the kitchen bloody listening, she couldn't help herself.

"If you're sure." She said uncertainly.

"What about afterwards?" He asked. "Where are you going to go?"

"Home?" She looked at him confused. Why wouldn't she be?

"You're seriously going to go back there after this?" He frowned.

"What choice do I have?" She asked, draining the last of her tea.


	11. Chapter 11

"You can go." She mumbled, looking down at her hands. "I'll be fine on my own. Your Mum came to see you not sit in a bloody hospital all afternoon because I can't look after myself." She was embarrassed, she'd knocked on his door in the heat of the moment because she didn't have anywhere to turn- but sitting on the hospital bed now with him staring at her she felt exposed and vulnerable.

"I'm not going to leave you here." He told her firmly, leaning back in the small plastic chair that was next to the bed. "Someone's got to make sure you get back alright."

"I told you I'm fine! It's just a graze!" She argued.

"Got eyes in the back of your head now have you Dawes?" He asked sarcastically, god she was infuriating.

She shook her head.

"No, so shut up and let the doctors do their thing." He said, rolling his eyes at her.

"Yes sir." She answered him sarcastically.

"How are we doing in here?" The nurse asked, sticking her head round the curtain.

"I'm fine." Molly answered quickly. "Can I go home now?"

"Soon." The nurse promised, pulling the curtain aside and wheeling a small trolley in. "I just need to put a couple of stitches in that."

Molly nodded. "Fine."

"Can you give us a few minutes?" The nurse asked, turning to Charles. "Maybe go and grab yourself a coffee or something? I'll come and get you when we're done."

Molly had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, she knew exactly why the nurse was so keen to get rid of Charles- she was about to give her another one of those speeches.

Charles looked back and forth between the two of them, before nodding in agreement and disappearing out of the cubicle.

"So..." The nurse said, reaching for a swab to start cleaning the cut on the back of her head. "Are you going to tell me how you actually got this?"

Molly hissed in pain, the cut stinging as she started to clean it. "I told you, I tripped and hit it on the table." She muttered.

"You and I both know that if you'd tripped over and hit the table you would've cut your forehead." The nurse told her matter of factly. "And you've got bruises in the shape of hand prints around your neck. We just want to help you Molly, you don't have to go back to him. We can get the hospital security to keep him away from you and-"

"Wait hang on a seconds, you don't seriously think Charles did this to me?" Molly almost laughed at the thought. "He's my boss, he gave me a lift here because he didn't want me getting in a taxi."

The nurse didn't look convinced. "It's not really about who did it though is it Molly?" She asked. "You don't have to go back and put yourself in this situation again."

Molly turned to face the nurse as she pulled off her gloves. "Are you done?" She asked, the nurse nodded. "Thanks for your concern then, but I'm more than capable of looking after myself." She slid down off the bed, picking up her coat.

"Molly-" the nurse started, but she was already half way out of the door. She'd heard this speech too many times for her liking. They meant well, and she knew they were just doing their jobs, but she just didn't need it at that moment.

"You done already?" Charles asked, suddenly appearing next to her as she walked through the reception area, his mother just behind him.

"I'm going to make my own way back. Thanks for bringing me and that Mrs James, but I'll be alright from here. You shouldn't have waited for me." She bolted for the door before either of them had a chance to say anything.

"Molly, wait!" Charles called after her, speeding up as he followed after her.

His mum grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back. "Give me ten minutes, just wait here." She ordered, putting her empty coffee cup in to his hands before walking off in the direction Molly had just gone.

It didn't take her long to find her, she hadn't gone far at all- she was sitting on a bench about a hundred metres from the doors of the hospital.

"Do you mind if I have a seat?" She asked, sitting down next to Molly, who didn't even acknowledge that she was there. "He's worried about you." She said softly, looking over at Molly.

"We're not at work. I'm not his problem to worry about at the moment." Molly muttered, picking at her nails. "I'm so sorry I've ruined your afternoon with this."

"Nonsense." His mother said with a smile. "He cares about you Molly, and not just because you're a work colleague. Thing is with my Charlie he'd do anything for anyone, lord knows that wife of his took advantage of it often enough- but that's a story for another day."

"I don't want to be a burden on anyone." Molly muttered. "I just panicked, that's all. I'll be fine, I'll get a cab back."

"I think you and I both know Charles isn't going to let you do that." His mum said, raising an eyebrow. "He's never been good at leaving things be, but on this occasion I have to say agree with him. And besides if he doesn't interfere and stop you going back there then I will."

"Honestly, I'm f-"

"Yeah, you look fine." She frowned. "Did Charles tell you I used to be a doctor?" She asked, suddenly changing the subject.

Molly shook her head, wondering what the relevance was.

"I was a GP in Bath for nearly twenty years." She said softly. "I knew all of my patients, I'd been treating them for years. There was this one woman, she wasn't that much older than you. She was always coming in with stories that didn't quite add up with her injuries. I tried to talk to her so many times but she was always adamant that she was fine, she didn't need any help. She'd come in, tell me she'd tripped and smacked her head on the cupboard or she'd accidentally poured some boiling water on her arm. One day she finally admitted to me that her husband was drinking and he was getting violent with her. I offered to try and help her, but she said she couldn't leave him, that she owed him because he'd stuck with her through some pretty nasty stuff. And the one day, she just disappeared and I never saw her again."

"What happened?" Molly asked curiously.

"I thought for a while that maybe she'd finally plucked up the courage to leave him, that she'd gone back to her parents or something. Then I got a letter from the hospital to inform us of her death. She'd taken an over dose after she found out she was pregnant a couple of weeks after I last saw her. She left a note, said she couldn't bear the though of bringing a child in to the world to suffer the same way she was. She hadn't got any friends or family and she felt like that was the only way out for her."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Molly picking at a crack in her nail. The words had hit her hard. How many times had she laid awake at night, listening to Artan snoring and wondering if he'd notice if she just disappeared.

"My point is Molly." His mother said softly. "You're not alone, there's people who want to help you. You've got Charles and me, and he was telling me you'd got back in touch with your mother?"

Molly nodded slowly, not really knowing what to say.

"You don't have to carry on like this Molly. He deserves to be punished for what he's done to you, but you don't have to let it define you for the rest of your life either." She reached out and gave Mollys hand a gentle squeeze. "Come on, let's get you home. It's cold out here." She suggested, spotting Charles loitering in the entrance.

Molly hesitated for a second, before nodding in agreement. She stood herself up a little unsteadily, Charles' Mum putting an arm around her shoulder as they walked back over to where Charles was waiting. He raised an eyebrow at his Mum, questioning. She simply shook her head at him in response.

"I think we should get back and put the kettle on." His mum announced as she started the car. "I think we all need a cup of tea before anyone makes any decisions."

Charles glanced over his shoulder and Molly, who was sitting in the back seat, her head rested against the window and her eyes closed. She looked peaceful as she dozed, carefree for once.

"Is she okay?" He asked his mum, his voice hushed so they didn't wake her.

"No." His mum replied, not bothering to skirt around the truth of it. "But give her some time, she'll get there."

"I'm going to have to call Major Beck and tell him." He muttered running his fingers through his hair. He'd been avoiding it for as long as possible, it felt as though he was betraying her trust by telling someone else. But he also knew that if someone found out that he'd known about this and not told them it'd be both their jobs on the line.

"Let's get home first, one step at a time Charlie." His Mum smiled, pulling out on to the motorway.

"I want to go round there and give him a taste of his own medicine." He muttered angrily, clenching his fists. "What kind of man does that to someone?"

"That's the difference between you and him Charles. As much as you want to do it, you won't."

He clenched his fists again. His mum might have faith in him not to go round there and beat some sense in to Artan, but he wasn't so sure that he had the same kind of faith in himself.


	12. Chapter 12

"What a bloody mess." He mumbled, rubbing at his temples to try and soothe the stress headache he could feel forming. He glanced over his shoulder, looking at Molly who was dozing in the sofa in a pair of his trackies and one of his hoodies that seemed to drown her. "I don't know what to do Mum."

"Just take it one step at a time Charlie." She smiled, sitting down at the kitchen table with yet another cup of tea in her hand. "You need to give her time to digest what's happened, because at some point it's going to hit her like a ton of bricks."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I should go and call Major Beck." He didn't want to do it. He had told Molly that he was going to have to, but he wasn't sure if had really registered with her when he'd told her- she'd just stared at him blankly.

"Do what you need to do Charles, she'll understand." His Mum said, smiling reassuringly.

"Will you keep an eye on her?" He asked. "I'm going to go upstairs and call him."

His Mum nodded in agreement, and with one last glance over his shoulder he wandered up the stairs and sat himself on the edge of the bed.

The phone only rang once before Major Beck answered. "Hi Charles, is everything okay? I thought you were on leave?" He asked.

"That's actually what I was calling you about Sir. I'm fine, it's my medic- Molly Dawes- I'm calling you about." He explained, hesitantly. He wasn't sure what Major Beck was going to have to say about all this.

"Dawes?" The confusion was clear in his voice. "What's going on?"

"There's been a bit of an... Um... Incident, between her and her boyfriend." Charles explained, feeling uncomfortable.

"You're going to have to explain to me what you mean by incident? Is she okay?"

"I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it looks like she was assaulted. She came looking for help- she lives next door to me- so I took her to the hospital, they've put a couple of stitches in, but other than that she's fine, just a bit shaken up I think." He explained.

"I see." Major Beck answered slowly, thinking. "Has she spoken to the Police?"

"No, not yet." Charles cringed at the thought, he could imagine exactly how that conversation would go down.

"In your opinion, do you think she'll be okay to finish her tour or do I need to start looking for a replacement?" Major Beck asked. "Because the last thing we need is someone out there who's mind isn't on the job at hand, she's an excellent medic, but I'm not prepared to put anyone in danger."

"From what I know, this has been going on for a while, and if I ask her I know she's going to say that she's fine. I was hoping to get your take on it Sir."

"I trust your judgement Charles, talk to Dawes and see what she wants to do. At the end of the day the decision is yours, you need to decide if you think this is going to affect her judgement as your medic."

"Thanks Sir." Charles sighed, he hadn't really got the answers that he'd wanted.

"Call me back and let me know what's going on, I'm going to need some notice if I need to find another medic."

"Will do, thanks Sir." Charles said, hanging up the phone and tossing it on the bed beside him. He was hoping Major Beck was going to give him a definitive answer, taking the decision out of his hands. He didn't want to be the person that had to tell Molly she couldn't finish the rest of her tour. He'd got no idea how this latest incident was going to affect her. She'd been dealing with it for years and she'd managed her previous tours just fine, but clearly there was something different about what had happened this time if it had been enough to make her run away. He'd give her some time before he broached the subject, it'd give him a chance to get the thoughts straight in his own mind.

He wandered back down the stairs, he could see Molly was still asleep on the sofa and his mum was sat on the other sofa, reading the newspaper.

"Sorted?" His Mum asked a he sat down next to her.

"Kind of." He muttered, still thinking about what he was going to say to her. His eyes came to rest on the bruising on her face and neck. It was becoming more and more obvious as time went on, turning a dark blue and spreading from her eyes almost right down to her chin. There was no question that she'd taken a serious beating.

"Are you expecting anyone?" His mum asked, frowning as there was a knock at the door.

He shook his head. "I'd better go see who it is." He pulled himself up off the sofa, wondering who on earth it could be this time. He'd already had one unexpected visitor today.

As soon as he undid the door, it was shoved open, slamming in to the wall behind it.

"Where is she?" Artan yelled, shoving Charles up against the wall before he had a chance to react. "How fucking stupid does she think I am? I saw her get out of your car!"

"You need to leave, now." Charles ordered, his tone icy. He straightened up, squaring up to the man in front of him.

"I'm not going anywhere with out her." Artan roared, shoving Charles again and storming past him in to the living room.

Charles rushed after him, his mind trying to catch up with everything that had happened in the last thirty seconds. Molly was in the far corner, cowering behind his mother.

"Artan please." She sobbed, peering out from behind his Mum. "Please don't do this." She looked petrified.

"Get out of my house, now." Charles tried again. "You've got three seconds before I call the police."

Artan stared at him for a second, then laughed quietly. "I'm just here to take back what's mine." He lunged across the room before Charles could react, shoving Mrs James out of the way and grabbing Molly by the hair.

She screamed out in pain as he tugged at her hair, his other hand grabbing her round the neck. "You told me you weren't cheating on me!" He shouted, shoving her backwards in to the wall, her head hitting the wall with a thud.

"Artan, please." She whispered. "I'll come home with you, please just let go of me."

"How stupid do you think I am?" He laughed sarcastically, tightening his grip around her neck. "Have you told him what a dirty little whore you are? I bet he wouldn't be so keen to save you if he knew what you were really like would he?"

"Let go of her, now." There was a threatening undertone to Charles' demand this time as he edged closer. He wanted nothing more than to rush at Artan and get him away from Molly, but he was worried she was going to get hurt in the process.

"How about you piss off and mind you're own business?" Artan snarled, turning his attention back to Molly. "I would've given you everything Molly. I love you, but you just can't do as your told."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't be pinning me up against a wall. Or how about the time you pushed me down the stairs and broke three of my ribs? Or the time you shagged my best friend in the toilets of the pub while we were out celebrating my birthday? How about the time you knocked me out and then left me laying in the kitchen floor in a pool of my own blood while you went to your mates and got pissed?" She snapped back at him. She didn't see him raise his hand, she just felt the sting of his slap as he smacked her across the face.

"You deserved all of it." He retorted, but he looked thrown by what she'd just said. She'd never spoken to him like that the entire time they'd been together.

Charles seized the moment, lunging forward and grabbing hold of Artan by the back of the neck, Molly wrenching herself free from his grasp just in time. Hauling him by the collar of his t-shirt, Charles dragged him back out in to the hallway and shoved him out of the front door. "Stay away from her, because I swear to god I won't be responsible for my actions next time." He shouted, shoving him out in to the street and locking the door behind him.

He rushed back through in to the living room, Molly had slid down the wall and was huddled in the corner, his Mum was crouched down beside her.

"I'm so sorry Molly, I shouldn't have opened the door." He said quietly, kneeling down beside her. She was as white as a sheet, her hugging her knees to her chin as she tried to stop herself from crying. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you anywhere?"

She wiped her nose with her hand, staring at the smear of blood it left on her hand. "I've had worse."

He didn't doubt her for a moment. The thought made him feel a bit sick.

The tears she'd been holding back finally got the better of her, a strangled sob escaping her lips.

"It's all going to be okay." He told her soothingly, putting an arm around her. She turned and buried her face in his chest, the silent sobs shaking her whole body. He looked at his mother helplessly, she smiled at him reassuringly before silently leaving the room. "You can stay here for as long as you need, you don't have to go back there."

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have got you involved in this." She choked out, pulling away from him. She suddenly felt absolutely mortified that he'd witnessed what had just happened between her and Artan. And then to top it all off she'd just sobbed in to his shirt.

"You don't have to keep apologising, I want to help."

"I'll call my mum, I can go and stay with her for a bit. It's not going to be long before we have to go back now anyway, so much for R&R."

"You don't have to go, you can stay here." He suggested, selfishly he wanted her to be there so he knew she was okay.

She shook her head. "I can't stay here, not with him next door. He'll just keep coming back."

"I'll drive you to your Mum's then." He said reluctantly.

"I can get the train, it's fine." She told him, shaking her head.

"No, I insist." He argued. "I'm not going to take no for an answer."

She suddenly realised she couldn't have got the train anyway, she didn't have any money. She'd left everything behind in the house, and she couldn't exactly go back and get anything with Artan still there. She'd got nothing apart from the blood stained pair of pyjamas she'd turned up on his doorstep in.

"All my stuff is still in the house." She muttered, thinking out loud. "My passport, all my uniform..."

"I'll sort it." Charles said, standing up and holding out a hand to help her up. "You go and have a cup of tea, I'll go and get your bag. Where is it?"

"It's just inside the front door I think." She told him, trying to remember if she'd moved it or not. She took the hand he was holding out and he helped her to her feet. "I don't think you should try and go and get it, you've seen what he's like."

"I'll be fine." Charles said, heading for the door. "I'll be five minutes." If he was being honest, he'd love Artan to try and start something, it'd give him the excuse he so desperately wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi Everyone, me again! Thanks so much to everyone who's read the last chapter! I'm enjoying writing this story so much at the moment that I've spent most of my day off writing this for you rather than all the house work I should've been doing (oops!) This did run away with me a little bit, so sorry if it's a bit long! I'm working on another update for war wounds at the moment too, I'm just struggling a little bit with it at the moment trying to get it right, but hopefully it'll be up for you all to read soon. Thanks again to everyone who's left a review on the previous chapters, it really makes my day to read them all and any suggestions for the story are more than welcome. Enjoy and let me know what you think!_

* * *

He didn't pause to knock at the door, trying to the door handle straight away. If he was honest, he was feeling more than a little nervous about going in here and trying to get Molly's stuff for her. He could only imagine the reception he was going to receive from Artan was going to be cold at best. The door handle stuck a little, and for a moment he thought it was locked, but he pushed it a bit harder and the door swung open.

The entrance hall he stepped in to was much the same as his own, the main difference being the huge box of empty beer bottles on the floor by the door. As though someone had started to tidy them up and then given up half way through. He crept a little further forward, his eyes scanning the hall as he looked for the bergen. Did it really matter if she couldn't get it back? The army would issue her more uniform and bank cards and things could be cancelled?

"Molly?" He heard Artan's drunken slur from the other room. "Is that you?" There was a crash, the sound of breaking glass and then a stream of expletives.

Charles' heart stopped in his chest for a moment. So much for sneaking in and out with no confrontation. Part of him would love nothing more than for Artan to come out here and pick a fight with him. It'd give him the justification to give him the taste of his own medicine that he so desperately deserved. But, if he did that, how was he ever going to convince Molly that he was any different to Artan?

"Actually." He called, taking a couple more steps forward. "It's Captain James. I'm just coming to collect Molly's things for her."

He stopped at the entrance to the living room, peering round the corner to see what Artan was doing. He was on edge, ready to be ambushed and have to defend himself.

Artan didn't say anything, looking up from the TV. He had a half empty bottle of whisky in his hand, and a dozen other empty bottles of various spirits on the floor around him. "Can you seriously not just fuck off and mind your own business?" He sighed, but he made no move to stand.

Charles spied the bag he'd come here for, just inside the living room, and walked over and grabbed it. As he stood up and turned back around he realised there was blood all over the floor beside the sofa Artan was sitting on, and a trail of blood hand prints along the wall back to the door. His stomach churned. He turned to walk away again, wanting to get out of there before anything went wrong.

"She'll come crawling back eventually y'know." Artan said, causing Charles to pause in the door way. "She's fucked up, she doesn't know anything else. You can fill her full of ideas about leaving me and making something of herself all you like, but I'll be here waiting. She always comes crawling back eventually."

He clenched his fists, wondering how much trouble he could possibly be in if he went over there and beat some sense in to him. He thought better of it, because if by some miracle he didn't get arrested or lose his job over it, his Mother would certainly kill him.

"She's not coming back this time." He snapped, trying to convince himself. "She deserves so much more than you'll ever give her."

Artan snorted. "Oh Yeah? She deserves someone like you does she? I can tell you now, there's no way my Molly's ever gonna be a trophy wife to some stuck up dickhead like you. This... This is what she needs, she enjoys it. I understand her in a way you never will." He slurred.

"The only place you're going to end up is in prison for what you've done to her." Charles spat back through gritted teeth, swinging Molly's bag over his shoulder and heading for the door before he lost the little bit of self control that he did have left. He slammed the front door behind him, causing the frame to rattle. Pausing for a few seconds, he took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself down before he went back inside to Molly and his mother.

Artan's words had got under his skin because there was a small part of him that worried he might be right- what if she really did forgive him and go back to him? How was he supposed to sleep at night if she went back to that monster? At least if she came back and finished the rest of his tour he'd know she wasn't with Artan.

He unlocked his front door, pushing the thoughts out of his head as he walked back in. "Charles? Is that you?" His mum called, he could hear the alarm in her voice.

"Yeah." He shouted back, slipping his shoes off and dropping Molly's bag on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. "I've got your bag." He said to Molly as he sat himself down on the sofa opposite her.

"How is he?" She asked, her voice small and quiet. She looked at him warily, as though she was worried he'd be angry with her for asking.

"Drunk." Charles answered dryly. His Mum raised an eyebrow at him, questioning. He shook his head a fraction.

"That's pretty normal for him." Molly muttered. "I'd be more worried if you told me he was sober."

"Don't worry about him." He suggested. She sighed quietly, but didn't answer him.

His mother cleared her throat, standing up. "I'm going to head off now." She said, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Are you sure?" Charles asked, a little disappointed.

She nodded, reaching out to give him a hug. "I'd better get back, your father's due home tomorrow and we both know he's not capable of fending for himself." She laughed.

He hugged her tightly. "I'll come up and see you before I go back next week, okay?"

She smiled back at him. "I'll hold you to that." She let go of him, turning around to face Molly. "It's been lovely to meet you Molly, and if you ever need anything then you know where I am."

"Thank you Mrs James." Molly answered softly. She felt awkward and uncomfortable. The poor woman had come all this way to see her son and she'd crashed in here with all her problems and ruined the day for both of them.

Charles followed his Mum towards the door to let her out, closing the living room door behind him and leaving Molly alone for a moment.

"You take care of her Charles." His mother ordered as they stood alone in the hallway. "If you need me, or she needs somewhere to stay then call me okay?"

"I will." He promised, giving her another hug. "Thanks for today."

"Let's not make a habit of it shall we?" His Mum smiled, pulling her jacket on and opening the door. "Take care Charlie, I'll see you soon." She smiled, closing the door behind her. Charles locked the door behind her, putting the chain on as well just in case.

He walked back through to the living room where Molly was sitting on the sofa, she looked awkward and uncomfortable. "She didn't have to go because of me." She sighed. "I'm so sorry I ruined your day together."

"She wasn't going to stay late anyway." He told her. "She's never really liked driving in the dark, she usually leaves mid afternoon anyway."

"Oh." Molly shifted on the sofa, trying to make herself comfortable. She was finally starting to experience the pain from the beating Artan had given her- her whole body ached and throbbed as the bruises began to develop.

"So." Charles said hesitantly. "I spoke to Major Beck earlier." He watched her face closely, trying to judge her reaction.

"I thought you might do something like that." She answered flatly. "It's okay, I get it. It's your job and I've put you in a really awkward position now, sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologising." He told her softly, sitting down on the sofa beside her. She moved her legs slightly, creating some distance between them. "He's worried about you too."

"Nothing to worry about, Sir." She told him, feeling uncomfortable. What was she doing here? She was sitting on her Captain's sofa wearing his bloody clothes for gods sake, this was about as weird and awkward as it could get. What had she been thinking? He'd felt obliged to help her because he was her boss, not because he actually cared.

"Molly." He said softly.

"Lance Corporal Dawes." She corrected. "I'm fine thank you, Captain James. I should probably get going now, but thank you for your concern." As she went to stand up, Charles grabbed her wrist, she wrenched it free from his grasp instantly. Her heart was racing- she knew he would never hurt her intentionally, but after Artan just his touch was enough to send the fear coursing through her body.

"Molly, come on." He tried again. "We're not on tour at the moment, I might be your boss out there, but here I'm just your friend who's worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about, I'm fine. I'm going to go to my Mum's for the last few days of this R&R and then I'm going back to Afghanistan to finish this tour. I'll worry about this mess when I get back." She softened slightly, but she wasn't ready to let her guard down.

"We can get a replacement medic in to finish the tour, you don't have to put yourself through that. You've had a traumatic few days, you might be best to take your time and get things sorted out."

"I'm not good enough for you now? Is that it?" She asked angrily, her eyes filling with tears. "Now you've seen just how fucked up my life is you don't want to have me in your section any more?"

"That's not what I said!" He pleaded.

"I'm bloody good at my job!" She half shouted, half sobbed. The tears were flowing now and there was nothing she could do to stop them. "In spite of everything that's happened with me and Artan, my job is the one thing that I've always had. And now you want to take that away from me."

"Okay." He said softly.

"Okay?" She frowned at him.

"If you want to finish your tour that's up to you." He said. "That's what I was trying to tell you. When I spoke to Major Beck he said it was up to you if you wanted to finish your tour or not."

"Oh." She said quietly. She'd overreacted a bit, her first assumption was that they were going to tell her she wasn't allowed to go back out there. "Sorry, I thought you'd already made up your mind."

He shook his head. "I wanted to talk to you first, see what you thought." Having seen the way she'd just had a go at him though he did wonder if her going back out there was a good idea. But maybe back in her normal environment with a routine and her work to focus on she'd be better? He was giving himself a head ache just thinking about it.

"I'm going back out there to finish what I started." She told him firmly. "I can't sit around here doing nothing, all that time to think and dwell on things. I need to be doing something."

"Okay." He agreed after a brief pause. "I'll call Major Beck back later and let him know."

"Thanks." She said, with a half smile. "I've got one more favour to ask you boss."

"Oh?"

"I don't suppose you'd be able to give us a lift to the train station would you?" She asked hopefully.

"No." He said, and her face fell. "But I will drive you back to your parents." He said quickly. He wanted to drive her there himself to make sure that she got there alright.

"You don't have to do that." She protested.

"No." He agreed. "But I want to. Do you want to get changed and then we'll head down there? Or you can stay here and I'll take you in the morning."

"I'll go get changed." She said quickly, standing up. She didn't want to intrude in to his life any more than she already had, the sooner she got out of his hair the better. She disappeared out in to the hallway and grabbed her bag, jogging up the stairs and in to the bathroom to get changed.

Rummaging through her bag she pulled out a pair of khaki trousers that didn't look to dirty and one of her jumpers. All she had was her uniform so that would have to do. She peeled the hoodie Charles had lent her off, cringing as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her skin was covered in dark purple bruises, her chin grazed and both of her eyes were ringed by dark bruises. She ran her fingers over the bruised skin, tracing the bruises down to the two hand print shaped ones around her neck. She could remember fighting to catch her breath as he'd grabbed her by the neck.

Her stomach flipped again at the thought. She tore her eyes away from the mirror and concentrated on getting dressed. "One step at a time Dawes." She muttered to herself. In the back of her mind she was already coming up with a story to tell her parents about how she'd got these bruises. There was no way she was going to be telling them the truth. She buttoned up her trousers and pulled on her jumper, doing the zipper up to the top so it hid at least part of her neck. It was going to have to do.

Charles was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, watching her warily as she came back down the stairs. It was strange, seeing her here in his house in her uniform. Now she'd changed she looked a lot more like the confident medic he worked with than the broken women who'd been cowering in the corner of his living room a few hours ago. Her uniform hid nearly all of the bruises, apart from the ones on her face. Looking at her, you couldn't really tell anything had happened.

The thought of how many times she'd put on her uniform and gone in to work, hiding what Artan had done to her, made him feel a bit sick. She was so good at hiding it from everyone, years of practice at covering for him.

"You ready to go?" He asked, forcing a smile.

She nodded. "You really don't have to drive me all the way there. I'm more than capable of getting on a train. Surely there's something better you could be doing with you R&R than driving me back to London."

"I'm driving you there Dawes, end of discussion." He smiled. "Now come on, let's get going before the traffic gets too bad."

She rolled her eyes at him, opening the door and walking out. "Fine then."

* * *

"Left just here." She instructed him, staring out of the window. She was amazed by the fact nothing had changed at all in the years it had been since she'd last been there. "You can just pull up somewhere out here if you like, there isn't really anywhere to park." Her heart was pounding in her chest at the thought of seeing her mum again. She hadn't called them and told them she was coming, partly because she'd been too afraid they might tell her she wasn't welcome. She figured if she just turned up on the door step they couldn't say no- could they?

Charles stopped the car, glancing over at her. She'd been quiet for the whole journey, but now they'd stopped she'd gone deathly pale and she looked more nervous now than she had when she'd been in a ditch being shot at by the taliban.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked when she made no move to get out of the car.

"No." She said quickly. "Thank you." She added after a second. He'd already seen too much off the mess that was her life, the last thing she needed was him seeing Dave drunk and lounging around in his pants. She cringed at the thought. He probably thought she was insane already, she didn't need to give him any more proof. She was hoping he might still be able to have some kind of respect for her after all this.

"Okay." He said slowly. "You know where I am if you need me though Molly. Please, promise me if you need anything you'll call or text me? Whatever time of the day it is."

"I haven't even got your phone number." She mumbled.

"Well, I'd say we can fix that pretty easily wouldn't you Dawes?" He joked, holding his hand out for her phone. He quickly keyed in his number and handed her phone back to it. "I mean it Dawes, anything at all."

"You might regret saying that." She mumbled, taking his phone from him and keying in her own number.

"We'll see about that." He smiled, taking his phone back from her.

"Thanks Boss." She smiled, and this time it actually looked genuine. She opened the car door, psyching herself up for going in to see her family. Charles climbed out the other side and opened the boot so she could get her bag out.

"I'd say any time Dawes, but I don't want to make a habit of this." He smiled.

Impulsively, she reached forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He hesitated for a second, before putting his arms around her in return. She stayed there for a moment, breathing in his scent. She felt safe standing there in his arms, as though nothing could ever hurt her- a feeling she'd never once had with Artan. They stayed there for a minute or two before she reluctantly pulled away from him.

"I'd better get up there, see what the little bleeder's are up to." She smiled, suddenly feeling shy. She swung her bergen over her shoulder as he walked back around to the drivers seat of his car.

"Text me later and let me know how it goes." He smiled.

She nodded. "I will."

"Oh and Dawes?" He called as she started to walk away from him.

"Yeah?" She called, turning to look back at him.

"Don't forget to go and get my bloody coffee while you're here!" He called after her.

"Yes Sir!" She laughed, saluting him sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. She heard him laugh in response, then his engine started and she watched as he drove off.

Her stomach knotted again as she climbed the stairs on her way up to her parents, praying they'd be happy to see her. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all, she shouldn't have just turned up here unannounced. What if they didn't want her there? She glanced over her shoulder, watching Charles' car disappear around the corner.

She paused in front of the door, her hand raised ready to knock. She could hear the kids laughing on the other side of the door and it made her smile. She'd missed them so much. She knocked quickly on the door, taking a couple of steps back. She heard her Mum shout from the other side of the door that she'd get it. Her heart was hammering in her chest with anticipation. It had been so long since she'd seen them.

"Molly?" Her Mum looked shocked when she opened the door to find her eldest daughter standing on the other side. Her grin quickly faded as she saw the bruises covering her daughters face. "What happened to you?" She gasped.

"I'm fine Mum, really." Molly smiled, wondering if she sounded convincing at all to her Mum. "Just got knocked around a bit on one of our patrols." She lied.

Her Mum looked her up and down, taking in her dirty and creased uniform. "Oh look at you Mols." She beamed. "We're so proud of you. Come in! Put your feet up, I'll make you a cuppa!" She said quickly. "Dave!" She yelled, shutting the door behind Molly. "Get down here! Molly's home!"

She dropped her bergen on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, her mum grabbed her and pulled her in to a bear hug as she stood back up. "Oh Mols, I'm so glad your back!"

When her Mum eventually released her she wandered through in to the living room, sitting herself down on the sofa. Nothing had moved an inch since the last time she'd been here. It was strange. So much time had passed and she'd changed so much, yet everything here had stayed exactly the same.

"Is Artan not with you?" Her Mum asked, coming back through and passing her a mug of tea. She sat down on the other sofa, looking at her closely.

Molly shook her head. "No, he had to work." She lied.

"We were going to come and pick you up from the base, your nan was going to hire a car to drive us there- wasn't that nice of her?" Her mum rambled on. "Artan said he wanted to surprise you though, wasn't that sweet of him?"

Molly nodded, biting her lip. This had been a mistake, she couldn't keep lying to her Mum like this, but she couldn't bring herself to tell them the truth either. "I thought I'd stay here for a couple of nights if that's all right? Artan's not going to be home and it'll be nice to spend some time with the kids."

Her mum nodded. "You might have to take the sofa though."

"It's fine, the floor would be more comfortable than that bloody camp bed in Afghan." She laughed in reply. It sounded forced to her own ears, but her Mum didn't seem to notice.

"Oh it's such a shame that Artan couldn't make it. We haven't seen him for ages." Her mum said, sipping at her tea.

Molly forced a tight smile. She'd forgotten just how much her parents bloody adored Artan- of course around them he'd always been absolutely charming. They'd never seen the real him. "Do you mind if I go and have a shower and get out of these clothes mum?" She asked. She needed five minutes to herself.

"Course you can love. There should be some hot water." Her Mum smiled.

Putting her cup down on the table she bolted up the stairs and in to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sat down on the toilet seat, sucking in a couple of deep breaths to calm herself. She fished her phone out of her pocket, her hands trembling. She'd got four missed calls from Artan, but the thing that really caught her interest was the message from Charles.

 _I'm here if you need me. If you need me to come and pick you up or you just want someone to talk to then call me. I'll see you in a couple of days, don't forget you've got some shopping to do for the lads or you'll never hear the end of it!_

She smiled as she read the message, it was comforting to know she had someone she could talk to that understood. She quickly typed a response to him before stripping out of her uniform and climbing in to the shower. It was a relief to wash the day off her, the hot water stinging slightly as it washed over her bruised and grazed skin. It was washing the traces of Artan off, and that was all she really cared about.

When she emerged ten minutes later she felt much better. Wrapping herself in a towel she made her way through to her old bedroom. She pulled open the drawers, wondering if any of the clothes she'd left behind were still there. Of course they were, her Mum never threw anything away. Pulling on a pair of her comfy pyjamas, double checking that they'd cover up her bruises, she wandered back down the stairs.

"Oh good, Molly!" Her Mum beamed. "Artan just called, he doesn't have to work after all so he's on his way down her now to join us! Isn't that great?"

She froze in horror. How had he known where she was?

Shit.


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, how's the family time going?" He smiled, picking up the phone after one ring. He'd been checking his phone constantly, hoping she would've called or texted.

"Are you home yet?" She asked, completely ignoring his question. There was something wrong, she sounded stressed and anxious.

"Molly, what's wrong?" He asked, sitting up straight on the bed.

"It's Artan." She whispered. "He's on his way here."

"Shit." He words tumbled out of his mouth. He reached for his shoes that were beside the bed. "I'm coming to get you right now." He was already half way out of the door.

"He's going to be here before you get here." She whispered, putting her head in her hands. She was hiding in the bathroom so she didn't have to listen to her Mum going on about how much she was looking forward to seeing Artan.

"I'll be ten minutes." He told her reassuringly. "I'm at the premier inn just up the road."

"What?"

"I was tired, I didn't want to drive all the way home." It wasn't a total lie, he was tired but there was also the fact he'd wanted to be close by if she needed him. "Your Mum won't let him in will she?"

There was silence from the other end of the phone.

"Molly?"

"I didn't tell her." She whispered quietly.

"What?" He was in the hotel lobby, fumbling around for his car keys. "She must've known something happened?"

"I told her I got the bruises on tour." She told him. "I didn't want to tell her... I wasn't expecting this to happen."

"It's okay." He said. She was vaguely aware of the sound of his car starting and the noise of the engine in the background. "It's all going to be okay Molly."

"I'm never going to get away from him am I?" She asked. She sounded so despairing and lost. He put his foot down on the accelerator, desperate to get there.

He hadn't actually thought through what he was going to do if Artan was there when he got there. Why had he let her go to her parents? He should've insisted she stayed with him or on the base or something. Somewhere Artan couldn't get to her.

"It'll be okay." How many times was he going to try and tell her that? He couldn't be making these kind of promises, they both knew that he couldn't guarantee it. "I'm five minutes away. We'll sort out what happens next once we've got you out of there okay?"

"Okay." She didn't sound at all convinced.

He turned sharply on to the estate, pulling up in the spot he'd dropped her off in earlier. "I'm now here, I've parked. Where do I need to go?" He asked as he jumped out of the car. It had suddenly dawned on him he had no idea which door he was knocking on.

"Up the stairs to the third floor. Last door on the left." She told him quietly. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she waited for the knock at the door.

"Have you got your stuff ready?" He asked, his breathing a little more laboured as he ran up the stairs.

"Yeah." She agreed, grasping the handle of her bag that was sat at her feet.

"You alright up there Mol?" Her Mum shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

She held the phone away from her face. "Yeah give us a second Mum."

"I'm outside." He told her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She heard the quick knock at the door and she swung her bag over her shoulder and ran down the stairs. She reached the door just as her Mum got there. The phone line went dead as he hung up on her

"Hopefully that's Artan!" Her Mum beamed, unlocking the door.

Molly forced a tight smile, a feeling of relief flooding through her as the door opened to reveal Captain James stood on the other side.

"Can I help you?" Her Mum asked curiously, looking him up and down.

"I'm Captain James, I'm Molly boss." He smiled, she saw her Mum flush. Clearly she wasn't immune to his charm.

"And what are you doing on my door step?" She asked, cutting to the chase.

"I've been trying to get hold of Dawes here but she wasn't answering her phone and I was near by so I thought I'd pop in." He lied, giving Molly a look that told her to play along with him. "Something's happened, were needed back in Afghanistan straight away. We'll be flying back out tomorrow morning. I thought maybe you'd like a lift back to base?"

"Oh." Her mums face fell. "But you've only just got here."

"Sorry Mum." She smiled apologetically. God she felt awful for lying to them, especially when she hadn't seen them for so long. "A lift back to base would be good boss, don't think I'll be getting a train at this time of night."

"What am I supposed to tell Artan?" Her Mum asked.

"You can call him on the way back." Charles suggested quickly. Molly nodded.

"We're going to have to go now though Dawes, sorry. I've got to get back and get things organised."

"Sorry Mum, I'll come back as soon as I'm home again. Promise." She said, giving her Mum a quick hug.

"You look after yourself Mols." Her Mum called as she walked out of the door, swinging her bag over her shoulder. She could've sworn she saw her Mum wipe a tear from her cheek.

"I will Mum." She promised, then she turned to Charles and nodded. They turned and walked away, she didn't dare look back at her Mum for fear she might not be able to hold it together any more.

They half ran back to his car, throwing her bag on to the back seats as the jumped in and locked the doors. Charles started the engine and locked the doors before he turned to look at her.

"Thanks." She mumbled, turning to look at him. Her eyes were filled with the tears she'd been holding back.

"Why didn't you tell them the truth?" He asked quietly, starting to drive back in the direction of the hotel. He didn't want to hang around long enough to risk Artan turning up and finding them there. It was dark outside now and the streets were deserted as he looked around to check that Artan wasn't already there. The last thing he wanted was him following them.

"So they can give me that look?" She asked, staring out of the window.

"What?" He frowned, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he wound his way back out of the estate.

"That look, like you're giving me now and the nurse gave me in the hospital, looking at me like I'm some kind of battered woman. I'm a soldier for christs sake, I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself, but I've let this happen to myself. I let him do this to me." The tears were flowing down her cheeks now.

"Molly, people are just worried about you." He said softly, speaking as though she was a wild animal that might flee at any moment.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." She snapped, turned and stared out of the window furiously.

He thought about saying something, trying to reason with her, but then thought better of it. He'd give her some time and then they could have this conversation again. She wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say right now- she was safe at least and that was all that mattered

He drove in silence as she stared out of the window refusing to look at him. A few minutes later he was turning in to the hotel car park. "We'll stop here for the night if that's okay?" He asked, glancing at the clock. It was nearly eleven o'clock by this point and he was exhausted. He couldn't face driving all the way home even if she'd said no.

"Then what?" She asked, turning to look at him as he stopped the car. "We've still got two days left and I cant go home." She felt like a criminal on the run, terrified that wherever she went Artan was sure to find her.

"You can come up to Bath with me to see my Mum." He smiled.

"I can't do that." She shook her head. She'd already intruded on his time with his Mum once, she wasn't about to do it again.

"It's fine Molly, really. Mum called and suggested you come with me." His Mum had called him as soon as she'd got home and she'd been less than pleased with him for letting her go to her parents.

"I-" she'd run out of words by this point, something that was highly unusual for her.

"She's pretty insistent, and so am I." He told her, climbing out of the car. "We want to help you Molly, just let us."

She was quiet as she climbed out of the car, thinking. "I don't want you to feel like you're obliged to look after me just because you're my boss. I've made a mess of my life, but that's not your problem."

He stopped and turned to her and they reached the door of the hotel. "Do you honestly think I'd be doing this is I didn't care?" He asked. "I would have called the welfare office and let them deal with it. I'm fond of you Dawes, that's my point, and if I let something happen to you I'd never forgive myself."

She stared at him for a second, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Okay." She said slowly. "I'll come to your Mums with you."


	15. Chapter 15

_Hello everyone, me again! Back with another update for you all which I hope you'll enjoy. The next chapter should be up with in a couple of days and will see Molly and Charles headed up to Bath to see him Mum before they head back out to Afghanistan. It's not going to be a happily ever after just yet, Mollys still got a long way to go and a lot of demons to lay to rest before she can really move on from Artan, but it's coming I promise! Enjoy xx_

The sound of her phone vibrating on the bedside table woke her up, her Mums details flashing across the screen. She flicked on the lamp, her eyes squinting as she tried to adjust to the brightness. It was headed for one in the morning, why on earth would her mother be phoning her at this hour?

"Mum?" She whispered, her eyes coming to rest on her Captain who was completely oblivious and still fast asleep on the sofa. "What's happened? It's the middle of the night."

"Hello Molly." The voice on the other end of the phone wasn't her Mum.

"Artan?" She felt the adrenaline coursing through her body as the fear took hold. It was irrational, he was on the other end of the phone- he couldn't hurt her.

"I can all this way to see you Molly, then I get here and your Mum tells me you left ten minutes ago with that Captain of yours." She can hear him sneering as he talks about Charles. "Tell me Molly, did you really have to go back to work?"

"Artan, why have you got my Mums phone?" She asked him, ignoring his question. "I told you I didn't want to see you, why did you think if you came to my mums that I'd be pleased to see you?"

"But you didn't tell your Mum though, did you?" He sounded almost proud of himself. "You had the perfect chance to go crying to your Mum about what a terrible man I am, but you lied and said you'd been hurt on tour."

"How do you know that?" She had a sudden realisation. "You're still at my parents aren't you?"

He laughed quietly. "You see Molly, your Mum knows how to treat a man. She was a bit surprised to see me- you know, since you told her you'd call me and let me know you were going back to work- but we sat and talked for a bit, I took your Dad out for a drink and they said I could stay here for a couple of days. I've been so lonely all on my own in that house you see."

"Leave them out of this, please." She begged him. The last thing she wanted was for him to start on her Mum if she said or did the wrong thing. And then there was the kids...

"Why should I do anything you ask me too?" He laughed quietly down the phone. "I loved you Molly, and this is how you treat me. Tell me, are you in his bed now? Are the two of you laughing at how sad and pathetic I am?"

"If you loved me you wouldn't do this too me." She whispered.

"You deserve to be punished for what you've done to me Molly." His voice was low and calm, it was unsettling. She was used to him shouting and screaming, but this quiet anger was something new.

"What I did to you?" She questioned.

"You drove me to the drink Molly." He accused. "You made me leave my job so we could move nearer to where you were posted. You left me sat there in that stupid house on my own all day while you pissed off to another country to flirt with squaddies and kill my people. Then you came home and you weren't even pleased to see me. You just started complaining about what a mess I was and how you shouldn't be stuck having to support me."

"I seem to remember waking up in hospital having had surgery on my shoulder and with three broken ribs after that." She reminded him.

"You just wouldn't drop it." He said, as though that some how explained and justified everything he'd ever done. "I failed you, I know that. It should've been me taking care of you not the other way round, not that you'd let me forget it."

"I didn't mind that you weren't working." She told him, her voice softening slightly. She didn't think they'd ever had an honest conversation like this during their entire relationship. "I minded when I came home and found you in bed with the woman next door, or I came back and you hadn't paid the rent for three months because you'd spent all my deployment money at the bookies."

"I can change Molly." He told her, she shook her head.

"How many times have you said that to me?" She asked him. "How many times have you promised me it will never happen again and it's lasted all of about three hours?"

"Please, it's different this time." He pleaded.

"But it's not is it?" She asked him. "I thought I loved you Artan, but that's not what this is. Not anymore. We can't keep carrying on like this, one of us is going to end up getting hurt."

"It's him, isn't it?" His tone changed abruptly, it was icy cold and one she recognised well. "I knew it the second I saw you two together at the base."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You, screwing your boss!" He hissed down the phone. "Maybe you're right, we were never going to work out. I deserve better than a filthy whore like you! I'm sure your mum will love hearing all about how you lied to her about going back to work and ditched them to spend a night screwing your boss."

"Artan!" She protested.

"You're not good enough for him Molly." Artan spat back down the phone. "Eventually he'll realise you're a dirty little whore and he'll leave you. Then you really will have no one."

He hung up on her and she sat on the bed, staring blankly at the phone for a few moments. The tears were welling in her eyes and threatening to spill down her cheeks. She was suddenly aware of movement on the sofa to her right.

"How much of that did you hear?" She asked, turning to look at Charles who looked uncomfortable.

"Not much." He lied. "Is everything okay?" He'd actually been woken up by the phone ringing. He felt awkward and intrusive laying there, not knowing if she'd really realised he was awake.

"Oh yeah, everything is fucking brilliant!" She shot back at him sarcastically. "No, everything is clearly not okay! I'm stuck in a bloody premier inn with my boss because I can't go back to my own home or my parents because that bloody psycho thinks I'm cheating on him with you, and quite frankly I don't know what he'd do if he got his hands on either one of us. Then there's the fact that he's currently at my parents, and those two completely adore him so whatever shit he decides he's going to tell them they'll probably believe."

"Molly-"

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to turn up and punish me for this. He's never going to just let it go, you do know that don't you?"

"So you go to the police, he deserves to be punished for what he's done to you." He argued back. He stood up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed so he was opposite her. In the dim light of the hotel room he could see that her eyes were puffy and red from where she'd been crying.

"They won't believe me." She told him miserably. "Just like my Mum won't believe me if I tell her the truth."

"They will Molly, I promise. None of this has been your fault." He reassured.

"You can't say that." She shook her head. "You don't know the half of it."

"So, why don't you tell me?" He asked simply.

She sat in front of him quietly for a moment, before standing up and walking over to the kettle that was in the corner of the room. She silently made them a cup of tea each before coming to sit back in front of him.

His eyes wandered over her skin as she sat in front of him in her vest and shorts, taking in every bruise, graze and scar that marked her.

"Because you only know Lance Corporal Molly Dawes, the soldier. You only know the me on your, you've got no idea what I used to be like or what I've done. And I if I tell you, you're not going to look at me in the same way ever again."

"Molly, whatever it is, it's not going to change my opinion of you. You're a fantastic medic and a far better person than most of us will ever be. Whatever you think you've done to deserve this, you really don't." He said softly. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, we can just sit here and drink tea, or we can go and start driving up to Bath. Whatever you want to do."

"I used to steal money when I worked at the nail bar." She blurred out.

He looked confused, it wasn't what he was expecting, but he didn't say anything.

"My Dad's always been a bit of a twat." She told him with a fond smile. "He's not so bad now, but used to be a total nightmare. He used to fit sky dishes, then he fell if a ladder and hurt his back. He lost his job, he was on the sick for a bit and then they decided he was alright and they put him on the job seekers. He'd go on and on about how the money wasn't enough to support his family- more like wasn't enough to get him drunk anymore- so he started stealing my house keeping money of my Mum. Then he started coming by the nail bar, he'd buy these cheap nail varnishes for a couple of quid, give me a fiver and I would give him change for a twenty. It was supposed to be a one off but you know how these things go, it's never just a one off."

"That's not so bad." He said softly, sipping the cup of tea she made him. "You're not exactly going to prison for that."

"No, but then that wasn't enough. And of course bloody Artan, just couldn't help himself. He got my dad a job on a building site, then paid his cousin to stick a nail gun through dads hand so he could get signed off again." She cringed, thinking of the mess it'd caused. "I was bloody furious when I found out, I had a go at my Dad outside the pub. Artan grabbed hold of me and pulled me in to this alley way, started screaming at me about how I needed to be more respectful and I shouldn't talk to my father like that... and then he hit me. I never saw it coming, he'd always been so sweet. And he promised me it would never happen again. But well, fast forward a few years and here we are!"

"I don't really see how any of that is your fault?" He frowned.

"It was after that. He had a right attitude on him, and well before I was in the Army I didn't have a lot of respect for anyone- gob on legs- that's what me nan used to call me. Artan would wind me up and then I'd just keep going, saying things that I knew would wind him. I wanted to piss him off like he pissed me off, and then I'd end up going to far and he'd snap. If I'd just kept my bloody mouth shut then maybe we would've been okay."

Charles shook his head. "Eventually he would've done something Molly, you can't blame yourself for his reactions."

"But I didn't do anything to stop him either. I'm a soldier, if I'd tried I should have been able to defend myself, to stop him some how. But I stood there and let him hit me, I lied to people about what had happened to me to protect him. If I'd been a bit stronger, stood up for myself-"

"If you'd done that then he probably would've ended up killing you." Charles interjected. "No matter how hard you try to make it that way, this isn't your fault. You might be a solider, but the training you've had doesn't automatically mean you're going to be able to defend yourself from something like that. You don't have to feel guilty or ashamed that this has happened, you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to walk away from him."

She traced her fingers over the barely visible scar that ran across her wrist. "When I woke up in the hospital, I told them what he'd done to me." She whispered. "The nurse phone the police and by the time I woke up and they got there Artan was there. He'd managed to convince them that I was an alcoholic and I'd fallen down the stairs and landed on my wrist, that all the other bruises were from me fighting him off as he'd tried to help me. They all believed him so easily, and after that it seemed pointless trying to tell anyone. What's the point asking for help when no one will believe you?"

"I believe you." He told her softly.

She smiled at him sadly. "If only that was all it took."


	16. Chapter 16

_"Sometimes, it's the scars we can't see that are the hardest to heal."_

* * *

"Dawes." He hissed, opening the door to the bedroom a fraction, a small crack of light shining though. "Are you still awake?" He could just about make out the mop of brown hair splayed across the pillows as she laid in bed facing away from him. She'd hardly said two words to him since they'd arrived at his Mums for the final couple of days of their time off. She'd say awkwardly on the sofa, hugging her knees and looking anywhere but at him. Then after a couple of hours she'd made her excuses and disappeared off to bed.

There was a long pause, and just as he was about to leave she answered him, her voice a low whisper. "Yes."

"Can I come in?" He asked quietly, hovering uncertainly in the doorway.

She rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp. "What's up?" She asked, sitting herself upright and looking at him questioningly.

He took it as permission to come in, closing the door behind him. "I wanted to see if you were okay? You've hardly said two words all evening."

"I'm fine." She shrugged.

"That's not exactly reassuring me Dawes." He frowned, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I am fine." She told him. "I'm tired. Thought I'd make the most of sleeping in a real bed while I still can."

What did he want her to say to him? There wasn't really an answer that could describe how she was feeling. She'd turned her phone back on to find 34 missed calls from Artan in the space of twenty four hours. Three messages from her mum and more texts from him than she could even begin to count. The general theme of the messages from her Mum, Artan was going to stay with them for a while- his cousin had got him some work on a building site near by. She'd rolled her eyes as she'd heard it- there was no way he'd last more than a week.

Then there was the fact that she'd checked her bank account and he'd completely cleared out all her savings and left her without a penny. Now she was facing the fact that she wouldn't be able to afford to pay the rent on the house she was paying for, and apparently he now wouldn't be living n. Even if he was working there was no way he'd spend his money on rent- it'd go straight down his neck in the form of alcohol of any kind.

"If you don't tell me I can't help you." Charles prompted. He could tell looking at her now that she'd been crying, her eyes were red and puffy.

"Maybe I don't need you to keep trying to save me." She snapped back at him. "Maybe I'm beyond help."

He looked more than a little taken aback. "Don't say that."

"I shouldn't have come here, it was a mistake."

"Molly, you know you're always welcome. My mum was more pleased to see you than she was to see me." He tried to joke to lighten the mood. He didn't think he'd ever seen her like this, even when she'd had blood streaming from her nose she'd been cracking jokes- but now she just looked tired and defeated.

"You're too nice to say no, that's your problem. I'll head back to barracks and stay there tomorrow night, get out of your hair."

"You don't have to do that." He told her softly. "Molly, please. What's happened?"

"Me. That's what happened." She whispered, her voice cracking.

"I'm going to need a little more than that Molly." He prompted when she didn't go any further.

"Look at me. I'm a bloody mess." She whispered. "I'm staying at my bosses mums house because I've got no where to go, I've got no money and I can't afford to pay the rent. I'm not going to have anywhere to live when I get back off this tour. My parents think the sun shines out of bloody Artan's arse and I've got to think of a believable lie to tell the lads to explain why I look like I've been fighting Mike Tyson- so no, I'm not okay."

"You could just tell the lads the truth." He suggested softly. "They're your friends Molly. They're not going to judge you or think any less of you."

"Have you ever told someone that you've spent years with a boyfriend who beats the shit out of you on a daily basis?" She asked. He shook his head. "No, you haven't. But I have. And let me tell you now, they won't ever look at you quite the same again. They say all the right things, that you'll be there if you need them and that they want to help- and then nine times out of then they'll just avoid you, because they don't know what to say so it's just easier not to say anything at all."

"They wouldn't do that." He argued.

"You know that for a fact do you?" She asked. "No, you don't. When I get back on that plane to Afghanistan on Monday then I'm going to forget about all of this and I'll worry about it in three months time when my tour is over. I don't mix my personal life and my work life- and this is exactly why- keeping the two separate stops things like this happening."

"What do you mean, things like this?" He frowned, he wasn't really following her train of thought.

"This." She sighed, gesturing to him. "People trying to help! Let's be honest, if you hadn't had the misfortune of renting the house next door to me then you never would have found out about Artan. I managed to get the whole way through training and two other tours without anyone ever asking any questions, and that's exactly what would've happened this time. I would have done my time, and then the tour would've been over and me and Artan would have moved on again and you would have all forgotten about me. But, I let my personal life and the army get mixed in together, and look at what a mess it's made."

"I'd like to think even if we hadn't have ended up being neighbours I would have known, that you would've decided you could trust me."

"Of course you would, because you're actually a decent person and you do want to help. But you're also my boss, and at the moment my career is the only thing I've got left, and I'm sure as hell not going to ruin that by letting what's happened with Artan shit all over that too."

"Do you think that me, kinders or any of the rest of the lads are going to treat you any differently because of what you've been through?" He asked, genuinely surprised that she thought that way.

"When you look at me now, all you're going to see is the battered woman cowering in the corner, rather than the medic I actually am." She sighed. "I'm already at a disadvantage being a woman, there's a lot of them out there that don't think I'm up to the job- if anyone found out about this it would finish me off."

He did look at her a little bit differently if he was totally honest- he wasn't sure what it was, maybe it was the fact he was just that little bit more aware of her vulnerability. He'd got no doubt over he ability to do her job- he never had- and in all honesty he was more impressed that she'd managed to keep so professional with everything that was going on. He was in awe of her ability to push what was happening in her own life totally out of her head and focus on the job at hand.

"It's not like that Molly." He protested. "If you went to he police about Artan and it all came out, the army would support you the whole way."

She snorted. "Yeah, so the bleedin' army might say they would, but there's always those few people there making those comments about it behind your back. I'm not giving them the opportunity."

"You really should go to the police." He sighed, knowing his words would fall on deaf ears. How many times had he suggested this now?

"How many more times do you want me to say no?" She asked.

"They've for me and my mum as witnesses now, they can-" he started, she shook her head and cut him off.

"It's not about wether they've got witnesses and if they can send him to prison." She explained, shaking her head. "It's the fact that I'm not sure i would be able to live with myself if I was the reason he got sent to prison."

"What?" He was completely lost now. "After everything he's done to you though..." he probably didn't even know the half of it, something he was very much aware of, and he didn't like to dwell on too often.

"You won't understand this, and that's fine I wouldn't expect you to- but somewhere, underneath all that alcohol and anger is the boy I fell in love with." She explained softly, looking down at the tattoo on her wrist, his name engrained in her skin forever. "The boy that used to walk me home from school and turn up on the doorstep with a bunch of roses is still in there somewhere. He's been through some shit and it's changed him- god knows we've all been there- he's made some mistakes, but I don't want him to spent the rest of his life paying for them."

"He's made more than a few mistakes!" Charles snapped. She could see she'd taken him completely by surprise. "You can't seriously be considering going back to him after this?"

She shook her head. She had thought about it, she'd been laying in bed for hours wondering if maybe she gave him another chance if things could be different, maybe if he had the right kind of help and support if he could sort himself out and get happy together. Then she'd looked at her battered and bruised body in the mirror and quickly realised she couldn't go back to him, she couldn't run the risk of getting hurt any more than she already had.

"I'm not saying I'm going back to him, I'm saying that he deserves to have a chance to get his life back on track and move on. We've both made mistakes, and yes he has hurt me, but I'm not willing to send him to prison for his mistakes."

"You really need to think this through Molly." He argued. "What if he goes and does the same thing to someone else? Then what?"

"We're not talking about this anymore." She told him simply. "I'm putting Artan in his little box and putting him away, and he's not coming out for me to think about until after this tour is finished."

"But-"

"I said no." She told him firmly. "Im going to bed now, good night." She said, shuffling under the covers as he stood up. She flicked off the light, leaving him stood by the door in total darkness.

"Good night Molly." He said softly, closing the door behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

"Are you okay love, you're up early?" Mrs James asked as she walked in to the kitchen. It took her by surprise. She hadn't been expecting anyone to be awake given the fact it was only just starting to get light.

"Sorry, I hope I didn't wake you up."

Mrs James shook her head. "I've always been an early riser, I think it's a habit from when we used to have the dogs and I had to get up and walk them every morning. But like you getting up early very morning because that's what the Army's taught you. Charles on the other hand, it'd take an earthquake to wake him up some mornings."

Molly laughed quietly. "He's usually the one shouting at me to hurry up."

His Mum smiled. "Maybe all those years in the army have finally snapped him out of it. Sit down love, I'll make you a cup of tea." She got up and wandered over to the kettle, staring out of the window for a moment as she waited for it to boil. "How do you feel about going back out there?" She asked, placing a cup of tea on the table opposite Molly and sitting down opposite her.

"What do you mean?" Molly asked.

"Afghanistan." Mrs James promoted. "Charles was telling me this is your third tour now?"

"Yeah, it is." She smiled, taking a sip of her tea. "I've always quite enjoyed it, I mean it'd be nice if there was some hot water and the food was a bit better." She joked.

Mrs James laughed. "Do you think you'll go back again?"

Molly nodded. "Maybe not Afghanistan, but there's going to be something come up somewhere. I feel like I've actually got a purpose when I'm out there, I'm doing something useful to help someone, rather than just sitting around at home drinking tea or painting someone's bloody nails. I like to think we're making a difference."

"Charles has always been like that. I thought for a while he might give it up to try and salvage things with Rebecca, but he loves it too much to do that. I know he misses Sam when he's away, but Sam thinks it's amazing that his Dad is off saving the world." She smiled.

"Has he seen much of Sam since he's been back this time?" Molly asked. She was afraid to hear the answer- the last thing she wanted to do was keep him away from his son.

"Rebecca's bringing him over today I think, so you'll get to meet him." Mrs James smiled.

Molly shook her head. "I'm actually headed back down to barracks today." She said quickly. "Thanks for letting me stay here but I don't want to intrude."

"Oh Molly, you don't have to do that." Mrs James said softly. "You're welcome here any time."

"Thanks." She smiled. "But I've got some friends on the base and I thought it might be nice to have a bit of a catch up with them too before I hear back out again."

"Are you sure?" She asked. Molly nodded in response. "How are you getting back? Shall I get Charles to drive you to the station?"

"No, it's okay."

"What's this?" Charles suddenly appeared in the kitchen door way. It was so strange to see him in his jeans and a tshirt. He looked, well like a normal person, rather than her Captain.

"Molly was just saying about going back to the base to see some of her friends, I said you'd probably be able to give her a lift to the station before Sam gets here?" Mrs James smiled. "Do you want a coffee Charlie?" She was on her feet and making it before he could answer.

"Thanks Mum. Can you give us a minute?" He asked as she placed a mug of coffee in front of him.

"So you still want to go back early?" He asked after a moments pause.

She felt like she was in trouble, he was giving her one of those looks that was usually reserved for the rest of two section. "You've got you son coming, I thought I'd give you some time with your family before we go back tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that, I keep telling you." He sighed.

"I know."

"You can stay here and come out with me and Sam for the day, then I'll drive us both back to the base tomorrow." He suggested.

She shook her head. "No, thanks for offering, and thanks for everything you've done but I'm going back today."

"You've made up your mind, haven't you?" He asked. He'd not known her for that long, but he'd already discovered that once she had her mind set on something there was no changing it.

She nodded. "I just need some space, some time to think."

"Okay." He agreed reluctantly. "If you're sure this is what you want to do then I'm not going to stop you."

"I just want to go back to normal." She told him softly. "You've been amazing, and I'm so thankful for everything- but you're my Captain and I'd like it if we could just forget that any of this ever happened."

He looked at her for a moment, her face still covered in bruises and her lip split, and wondered if he'd ever be able to forget the look on her face as Artan had grabbed hold of her. But this was exactly what she'd said to him last night- she was frightened it was all anyone would see when they looked at her if they knew the truth.

"Okay." He agreed reluctantly. "Have you looked at the train times?" Every part of him wanted to tell her not to go, to make her stay there and talk to him- to tell him what was going on in her head. She seemed so confused and unsure of herself.

She nodded. "There's one in half an hour."

"Well then, we'd better get moving Dawes." He said, he was trying to think of reasons to stop her, hoping the train would be cancelled or something. He didn't like the idea of her spending a night alone going over and over what had happened? What if she decided to go back to her house? The list of possibilities was endless.

* * *

It was 4am the next morning when she saw him walk through the door to the terminal we're the soldiers due to be flown out to Afghanistan that day were waiting. He briefly met her eyes as he went over to the desk with his passport and she forced a small smile. He was angry with her, even though she'd asked him several times on the way to the station the day before and he'd promised he wasn't.

"Good Morning Dawes." He greeted her, suddenly appearing beside her. She'd put on some make up in an attempt to cover up her bruised face, he realised as he stood beside her. It hadn't really worked, other than making them a little less noticeable from a distance. She'd zipped her jumper right up so he couldn't see the ones on her neck.

"Sir." She nodded, continuing to stare out of the window at the plane that was being loaded up ready to go.

"Are you looking forward to getting back?" He asked when she didn't say anything else.

"Yes Sir." She replied, almost automatically, still refusing to meet his eyes. She'd made a resolution with herself last night as she'd lay awake, staring at the ceiling, that she was going to remain one hundred percent professional for the remainder of this tour. She'd been thinking about Artan and everything that had happened, and she'd suddenly found herself wishing her Captain was there to talk it through with her. That was when she'd realised she had to put a stop to it. He was her boss, not her friend or counsellor. While he was happy to listen to her, if she kept crossing that line it was going to become more and more difficult to separate her personal and private life.

She could see him out of the corner of her eye, watching her as she stared out of the window. "Good." He answered eventually, walking away to talk to someone else.

He was hurt, he realised as he stood there listening to the other officers talking about what they'd done during their time off. He was hurt that she'd chosen to spend her last night on her own rather than with him, and hurt that she seemed to have decided she didn't want to talk to him anymore. He had no right to be really, she'd made it very clear that she didn't want to mix her personal life with her career, it was messy and lines had been crossed between them that were difficult to take back- but he just needed to know that she was okay.

She looked tired and defeated, even as they'd climbed on to the plane she'd looked disinterested. The spark of excitement and enthusiasm that had been there when they'd originally left was gone. He was starting to wonder if he should have let her come back out to finish this tour. She was an excellent medic, but looking at her now her mind wasn't on the job- and that was a dangerous situation in the middle of a war zone.

She'd say herself on the other side of the plane to him, a move that he knew was deliberate. She didn't want to talk to him, and he'd have to live with that. It didn't stop him watching her from a distance though, trying to work out what was going on in her head as she twisted the ring that hung from the chain around her neck.

* * *

The flight back to Bastion was uneventful. He must have fallen asleep somewhere along the line because he was woken up by a nudge from the officer next to him as everyone started to put on their body armour and helmets. He glanced over at Molly who was pulling on her helmet, the expression on her face unreadable. She met his eyes for a moment, half smiling at him before she looked back down at the ground in front of her.

It wasn't long before they were on the ground at Bastion, the blazing Afghan sun scorching them as they stood waiting for the helicopter that was due to take them back to the FOB. They'd been making awkward small talk about the weather for a few minutes when Major Beck had wandered over and started talking to them.

"How are you feeling Dawes?" He asked. He was giving her one of those pitying looks that she hated. What on earth had Captain James said to him.

"Never been better Sir." She answered with a smile.

"Captain James told me what happened." He said slowly, looking more than a little uncomfortable. "I just wanted you to know that we're all here for you, if you need anything at all then please do just ask."

"Thanks Sir." She answered politely. "But I'm fine, really."

"Good to hear Dawes." He nodded. "Captain James, can I have a moment?" He gestured to the tent just behind them.

Charles followed him over there, wondering what he wanted. He'd been surprised to see him at all when they'd landed. "Is everything okay Sir?" He asked.

"When you said she'd been assaulted I thought you meant... well I don't know what I thought to be honest... but not this. Are you sure she's okay to be here?" Major Beck asked. He'd been taken aback by the bruises that covered her face and arms. He hadn't been expecting it at all.

"I gave her the option of staying at home to sort things out." Charles said softly. "She's pretty determined to finish her tour. I do trust her judgement though, I think if she didn't feel like she could do it and be one hundred percent focused she would have stayed at home."

"Do you know what happened? Has she been to the police?" Beck asked.

"I don't know, she didn't really tell me what happened, but I think we can guess. She's refusing to go to the police, thinks we're all going to treat her differently because of it."

"Well that's ridiculous." Beck answered. "I would hate to think anyone would look at her differently because of this."

"That's what I said, but she's made up her mind."

"Well, just keep an eye on her okay? If you've got any concerns about her state of mind then I want you to let me know straight away."

"Yes sir." Charles nodded, before ducking out of the tent and walking back over to Dawes who was stood by the waiting helicopter.

"Everything okay boss?" She asked.

He nodded. "Everything's fine. Now let's go see what two section have been up to while we've been away."

"I didn't think I'd ever say this but I've kind of missed them." She smiled, and for a moment he got a glimpse of her usual self again. "Obviously don't tell them I said that, they'll never let me blood hear the end of it." She laughed.

"Oh I don't know Dawes, I think it would be kind of fun to watch." He said with a wink as he climbed in to the helicopter.


	18. Chapter 18

"Oi Oi! Look who it is!" The lads chorused as she walked back through the gates of the FOB later that day.

She couldn't help but smile. "I see you lot haven't grown up while I've been gone." She joked.

Smurf pretended to look hurt. "I'm wounded!" He cried. "Come on Dawes, you can admit that you've missed us really."

She pulled a face, reaching for the buckle on her helmet as she chucked her Bergen down on the floor at her feet. "I'm not sure I'd go as far as missed." She laughed.

The lads were round her instantly, pulling her bag open and pulling everything out of it to get to what she'd bought them.

"I bloody love you Mols!" Fingers shouted, emerging from the chaos with the pack of boxers she'd brought him.

"You should probably go and do that handover with the temp medic. The helicopter's waiting." Captain James' voice behind them stopped the lads mid way through an argument over who was getting the bar of dairy milk in her bag.

"Yes Sir." She nodded, scooping her bag up and throwing it back over her shoulder. She threaded her arm through the straps of her helmet and headed for the medical tent where Jackie was waiting for her.

"Good R&R?" Jackie asked, not looking up from where she was packing her kit away as Molly entered the tent.

"Yeah." She tried to muster some enthusiasm. "How have things been here?"

"Oh, well… You know what this lot are like. Fingers sliced his knee open playing some kind of rugby game. Mansfield cut himself shaving. The usual." Jackie laughed, turning around to face her. "Shit Molly, what happened to you?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine." Molly smiled, shifting uncomfortably as Jackie looked her up and down, her eyes taking in all of the bruises and cuts that covered every visible inch of her skin.

"You've never been a good liar." Jackie frowned.

"It's fine, honestly." She answered, "Is there anything else I need to know? Boss said the helicopter is waiting for you so we'd better get a shift on."

Jackie paused for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I think that's pretty much in. I'm sure Kinder's will fill you in later."

"Okay then." She nodded, throwing her bag down on the bed. "Thanks Jackie."

"Are you sure you're okay Molly?" Jackie asked, strapping on her body armour. "You look… I don't know, different?"

"How many more times do you want me to tell you I'm fine?" She tried to laugh it off but it sounded forced and false.

"If you were in trouble or something you would tell me?" Jackie asked. "I'm your mate, you know I'd do anything to help you."

"I know Jacks, and I'd do the same for you, but really- I'm totally fine. Just a bit clumsy that's all." She smiled.

"Are you ready to go?" Captain James stuck his head in to the tent. "The guys on the helicopter are getting a bit impatient."

Jackie nodded. "Now coming Sir. You take care of yourself okay Mols?" She quickly gave her a hug before she picked up her bag. "You know where I am if you need me." Then she was gone,

following Captain James out of the tent and leaving Molly standing alone in the medical tent.

Jackie hesitated for a moment just before the gates to the FOB, turning back to Captain James. "Sir." She said slowly, trying to work out how to word what she wanted to say.

"Is everything okay?" He frowned, taking a couple of steps closer to her.

"I just… Molly, you will keep an eye out for her wont you?" She asked, wondering if she was about to get a bollocking for crossing some kind of line. "She doesn't seem herself, I don't know what's happened but I'm worried about her."

"I will." He nodded. "Thanks Jackie."

She smiled, then turned and walked out of the gates to the waiting helicopter. He stood there for a few minutes, waiting until the helicopter took off and disappeared off in to the distance. The lads were pissing around playing football and some of the Afghan forces were sitting in the canteen area watching them. Molly was nowhere to be seen, he didn't think she'd come back out of the medical tent yet.

He found himself walking back over there, anxious to check on her and make sure she was okay. Jackie was right- she wasn't herself, she was quiet and withdrawn. She hadn't made a single joke or sarcastic comment, something he didn't even know she was capable of doing.

"Knock Knock." He said, ducking back in to the tent. "You okay Dawes?

She glanced up at him from where she was sitting on the bed, reading the notes that Jackie had left her. "Bloody Mansfield, someone's going to have to teach him how to shave without cutting himself every time." She smiled, totally ignoring his question. "Jackie probably thinks they're a bunch of total morons judging by this."

"She wouldn't be too far wrong." He smirked.

"I wonder how long it'll be before I end up patching one of them up, that football game is bound to end in disaster." She smiled. "After all, these are the kind of medical emergencies that made me want to sign up."

"If you're really lucky I might let you look at my blisters later." He joked.

She smiled. "I can't wait boss."

"How are you doing?" He asked again. She looked tired, more tired than usual, and he briefly wondered when the last time she'd had a decent night's sleep was.

"I'm exhausted. Going to go and get myself a cuppa and then get an early night, try and get to sleep before that load of Muppets start snoring." She told him, sliding off the bed where she'd been sitting and putting the folder on the shelf.

"Okay." He said, not knowing what else to say. He just wanted her to trust him enough to open up and tell him what it was that was really bothering her, because he knew it wasn't just the fact she was tired. "Well, you know where I am if you need me." He said, hesitating in the doorway for a second.

"Thanks Boss." She answered softly as he ducked out of the tent again.

* * *

"Bloody hell Dawes, what happened to you?" Fingers shouted at her as she walked in to the tent that housed their sleeping quarters. "You look like shit!"

"Cheers for that mate!" She rolled her eyes. They'd all been so busy rummaging through her bag none of them had looked at her properly earlier, but she was acutely aware that they had now all turned to stare at her. "I'd forgotten how bloody charming you lot can be."

"Come on then, fill us in on all the gossip. It's been bloody boring here these last few weeks, think the Taliban have gone on holiday or something." He grumbled.

"Only you would be complaining about the fact no one has tried to kill you recently." She rolled her eyes.

"Don't try and change the subject." Mansfield chipped in. "We need gossip, now."

She rolled her eyes. "At least let me go and get a cup of tea before you interrogate me."

"You'd better make it quick Dawesy!" Fingers agreed.

She was out of the tent like a shot, desperate to get away from them. It had taken every last bit of energy she had to laugh and joke with them. She wanted nothing more than to crawl in to her bed and stay there until they got bored with asking her questions, but that wasn't going to happen. So instead she made herself a cup of tea and sat in the corner of the canteen area, shrouded in darkness as the sun had begun to set. It would buy her at least a couple of hours peace and quiet, and for now that would have to do.

* * *

"Come in!" Captain James called, suppressing a yawn as he poured over the notes that had been made in his absence. He glanced over his shoulder, surprised to see Smurf standing in the doorway.

"What's up Smurf?" He asked.

"Did you enjoy your R&R Sir?" Smurf asked. He looked nervous and uncomfortable.

"I did." He said slowly. "What's wrong Smurf?" He asked again.

"I just… I know it's not really my place Boss, but is Molly okay?" He asked. "It's just she looks a bit of a mess and then the lads started asking her about what happened on her R&R and she went off to get a cup of tea and didn't come back. Don't think she really wanted to answer the questions."

"How long's she been gone?" Charles asked, it was irrational really, the worry he was feeling. There was only so many places that she could go inside a tiny base like this, but he still felt anxious not knowing where she was.

"About half an hour or so? I went to the med tent to see if she was okay but she wasn't there. I thought maybe she'd be with you." Smurf frowned.

"Thanks Smurf." He nodded. "She's probably just wanting some peace and quiet away from you lot." He joked, trying to lighten the mood. "I'll go see if I can find her."

Smurf nodded. "Sir." Then disappeared back out of the door.

Charles stood up from his desk, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was getting late, it was almost pitch black outside now and the temperature starting to drop. He hadn't really got a clue where she would have gone if she wanted to hide from the lads, but given the fact the base was only a couple of hundred square meters it couldn't be that difficult to find her. He grabbed his torch from the desk and walked out, glancing around.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later that he eventually stumbled across her, sitting in the dark canteen area, an empty mug clutched between her hands.

"I've been looking for you." He told her, sitting down beside her. His voice seemed too loud as it broke the silence. "The boys are worried about you."

"I just needed a minute." She mumbled, her voice thick with emotion. She didn't want to admit it, but she'd been sat there trying to get a grip on her emotions and stop crying before she went back in to the tent.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay, and then thought better of it. Instead he took them empty mug out of her hands and walked over to make her a cup of tea. She didn't even acknowledge him as he sat back down again and placed the steaming mug in front of her.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." He said softly. "We can just sit here for a bit, or I can go… Whatever you want."

"Stay, please." She whispered.

She didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts. She'd been sitting there reliving every moment, every insult and every slap replayed over and over again- engrained in to her memory for the rest of time. She'd found herself wondering what Artan was doing at that moment in time. Was he so drunk he couldn't remember that she'd left? Or had he found himself a new woman in the bar, showing her the sweet and romantic side of him that she'd once known?

"I thought once I got back out here I'd be okay, that things would just sort of snap back in to place." She mumbled, thinking out loud. Charles sat quietly beside her, listening. "It just doesn't feel right somehow."

"You've only been back a few hours, give it some time." He suggested.

"I was sitting there, and all the lads were asking about my time off and what I'd done, and I just didn't know what to say to them. I don't know, maybe Major Beck was right, maybe I'm not cut out for this anymore."

"Neither of us ever said we didn't think you could do your job." He reminded her gently. "We just said that we were worried, that you'd got a lot going on in your head and maybe you don't need the extra pressure of being here."

"I thought that being here, doing my job. That it would make me feel better, like I've actually got a purpose or something. All those times things have happened with Artan and I've just put on my uniform and gone in to work as though nothing's happened, buried myself in my work and it's helped me forget about it. But this time I just can't forget." Her voice caught in her throat and she turned to look at him.

"Give it some time." He smiled encouragingly. "You've been sitting in the back of that plane for most of the day with nothing to do but sit and think things over. Things will be back to normal tomorrow and it might make you feel a bit more like yourself."

"I'm not even sure who I am anymore." She whispered. "I've spent so long trying to please Artan, trying to make myself in to what he wanted me to be. All the things I've given up, friends I stopped seeing because he didn't like them. Everything I've done has been to keep him happy and try and stop us fighting. I don't know what to do now, the idea of having an empty house and being- well, free I suppose- it's so daunting."

"You don't have to decide what you're going to do right now, we've got three months of this tour left to get through first." He reminded her.

"I thought he was going to kill me." She admitted, and it was the first time she'd ever said the words out loud. "I hit my head on the table and I was laying there on the floor, I could feel myself losing consciousness and he was just kicking me over and over again. I didn't think he was ever going to stop, and I knew there wasn't going to be anyone to come and save me. No one would have noticed I was gone until I didn't show up at the base."

He sucked in a breath, his stomach churning. He hadn't really allowed himself to think about what could have happened if she hadn't got out when she did.

"It happened before; they thought I'd gone AWOL." She said, he wasn't really sure if she was telling him this or she was talking to herself by this point. "I don't even remember half of what happened, mind you that's probably for the best, I just remember waking up on the floor and there being blood everywhere and the pain. I was just laying there and I couldn't move, he'd pissed off out and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move and no one else was going to come and help me."

"What happened?" He asked when she didn't go any further.

"The postman turned up, saw me laying there through the window and called an ambulance. The police had to come out and break the door down so they could get to me. I spent two weeks in the hospital and had to have surgery on my shoulder. I broke my arm and three ribs too. When I woke up Artan was there, holding my hand and he had this big bunch of flowers. He cried, told me he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. And I believed him like the idiot I am. He proposed a few weeks after I got out of the hospital, he was being so sweet and taking care of me- it didn't really occur to me that it might not last so I said yes."

She pulled at the ring that was hanging from her neck again.

"Then a couple of days later he was back on the drink and I was back to hiding in the bathroom. I used to sleep in the bath with the door locked because that was the only place I felt safe. He'd always tell me how I deserved what ever it was, that I deserved to have my nose broken because I'd been flirting with the guy on the checkout at the supermarket, or it was okay that he'd hit me because I'd burned his dinner. As if that would justify what he'd done."

Charles was sitting beside her, silently listening as she poured out everything she'd been bottling up for years. She glanced over a him for a moment, wondering if he'd fallen asleep for a second. He gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her that it was okay. He'd sit there and listen to her all night if it made her feel even the slightest bit better.

"A couple of months after I got back off my last tour I found out I was pregnant." She whispered, her voice was so quiet he had to strain his ears to hear her. "It's supposed to be such a happy time, but I was sitting there in the bathroom staring at the line on the stick and I was terrified. The idea of bringing a baby in to the world knowing that it's father was going to be like that... well, it's too horrible to even think about. I thought about having an abortion, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to go through with it. So then I started making a plan to leave him, to get myself as far away from him as possible so that I could have somewhere safe. I can't say having a baby was ever really on my list of plans, but I think it's one of those things- you don't really know how much you want it until someone takes it away from you."

"What happened?" He asked, handing her a tissue as a few stray tears rolled down her face.

"Artan." She told him darkly. "That's what happened."


	19. Chapter 19

_Thanks so much to everyone who's been following this so far, it makes me so happy to read all your wonderful comments. I know I promised happier times are head, and they are, but not just yet. Mollys still got some secrets that she hasn't shared with him that she's trying to deal with, and also the fact that she doesn't know what to say to him now he knows the truth, and the next few chapters will be her trying to deal with those while also dealing with the fact that she's now back in the middle of a war zone and has to try and do her job professionally while she's dealing with all of this in her head at the same time_

* * *

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, his voice making her jump as he walked up behind her.

She was sitting in the same seat in the canteen area as she had been last night, when he'd eventually found her. She'd bawled her eyes out as she'd told him the truth of what had happened with Artan, and the baby that should have been. She'd held back on the details, skimming over them to spare him some of the nightmares she had to live with.

"Morning Boss." She flashed him a half smile as he sat down opposite her. It was still early, the sun only just beginning to rise and they were the only two people awake, the rest of the lads had still been snoring when she'd got up. She was thankful for it, she'd needed half an hour of peace and quiet to get her head in the right place to enable her to do her job properly.

"Are you going to be okay to go out on patrol today?" He asked. She looked exhausted, and he wondered briefly how long she'd laid awake for after she'd gone to bed last night. They'd say in the dark talking for several hours before she'd eventually decided to go and get some sleep, but he had a suspicion she hadn't actually wanted to go to sleep, and it was more that she just hadn't wanted to talk to him any more.

She nodded. "I'm fine. I'm really sorry about last night." She said, feeling her cheeks flush. She'd poured her heart out to him the night before, told him things that she'd never told another person before- then she'd sobbed in to his shoulder as he'd tried to comfort her. At the time it hadn't felt strange at all- he was her friend and she trusted him- but now in the daylight he was back to being her Captain and she felt a little awkward.

"You don't have to apologise Dawes. I meant what I said, if ever you need to talk I'm here." He told her softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I'm going to get the lads all together this morning and have a word with them so they stop pestering you about your R&R."

Her stomach dropped. "You can't tell them, please! I can't-" she panicked.

He shook his head. "I'm not going to tell them any of the specifics, but they're all worried about you. Smurf came to find me last night because he was worried that you'd done a runner, and kinders and fingers have been asking me if you're okay too. I'm just going to tell them that you're having a rough time, and them pestering you about it 24/7 isn't going to help."

She didn't say anything, swirling the remainder of her tea round in her mug. It went against everything she'd ever done, telling her section there was something going on. Her natural instinct was to put on a brave face and deny that anything had happened, but he was right. They weren't stupid and they knew something was going on, it wasn't fair to make them worry about her.

"Just make sure you tell them I'm fine." She grumbled.

"Are you really though?" He frowned. She'd been inconsolable last night as she'd told him what had happened with Artan, then she'd started to tell him about her baby and she'd broken down in to sobs and been unable to speak to explain any more.

"It's okay, really." She said softly. "I shouldn't have told you half of what I did last night. I've never told anyone about to before, it's not something I like to remember."

"You don't have to be sorry." He smiled. He glanced down at his watch as he heard the rest of the section start to emerge from their tent. "I'd better go and start getting everything organised, it'll be one to go soon. Come and find me though if you need me?"

"Thanks Sir." She called after him.

He walked off in the direction of the tent that two section were pouring out of, she could quite hear what he said to them, but whatever it was stopped them from pissing around as they all headed over for breakfast.

"Morning Mols." Smurf said, sitting down beside her. "Are you okay? You worried me a bit last night."

"Yeah, sorry about that." She mumbled, trying to think of an excuse to leave.

"Im here for you, you know. If you ever need anything, I'm just well... here." He mumbled, not really knowing what to say. "The boss said you're fine and that we should just make an effort not to be, and I quote, quite such massive cockwombles."

She laughed quietly. "You lot couldn't be sensible for a day if your lives depended on it."

"True." He laughed. "But the main thing is that you're okay?"

"I'm okay." She nodded.

* * *

Their patrol was making slow progress towards the town, the forty degree Afghan sun was blazing down on them and she felt like she was walking through treacle. She was exhausted, like if she had five minutes to stand still then she'd probably fall asleep standing up, but she wasn't going to admit it to anyone because they were all looking at her like she was some kind of delicate flower that might break if they so much as looked at her.

"Right, let's stop here for ten minutes." Captain James called as they reached a group of rocks a few hundred meters away from the town.

Everyone sighed with relief, flopping down on the ground and pulling out their bottles of water.

"You okay?" He asked, suddenly appearing beside her, passing her a bottle of water.

She gulped it down gratefully, it was warm enough to make a cup of tea with, but it at least helped to wash some of the dust out of her mouth. "I swear to god the next time you ask me that I'm going to punch you." She rolled her eyes at him.

He gave her a stern look, but she could see his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Is that so Dawes?"

She laughed quietly but didn't say anything else for a moment. "What did you say to the lads this morning?" She asked, dropping her voice so no one else would hear them. "Because they've been looking at me like I might break any second all morning."

Charles frowned. "I just said that you'd had some bad news when you were at home but you were fine, and that if they could stop bringing it up every thirty seconds that would be great."

"I have been told by a reliable source that the word cockwomble was used more than once." She giggled.

He looked at her guilty. "It's an accurate description though, wouldn't you say?" He winked, before turning back to the rest of the lads who were sprawled out on the floor. "Right then you bunch of cockwombles, let's get a move on shall we? We can't be late back, we've got a surprise guest coming to visit tonight."

"Is it Prince Harry boss?" Mansfield asked excitedly.

"It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you would it Mansfield?" He laughed.

"It is! It so is! My mum always says I look like Prince Harry!" Mansfield announced excitedly, the rest of the section laughing at him.

"On that note, I think it's probably time we got moving." Kinders chimed in.

The lads were still taking the piss out of poor Mansfield when they made their way in to the town. The banter quickly died down, every one of them tightening their grip around their gun as the local people glared at them.

Quaseem had told them earlier that some of the locals thought that they were causing more trouble by being there, that the Taliban may have not come to the village at all if it wasn't for the presence of the British Army there. It saddened her that they felt that way, they were there to try and help, and she hoped that at least some of the local people would be able to see that.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Bashira coming their way, and she gave her a small wave, encouraging her to come closer.

"Hey you." She beamed, fishing a pen out of her body armour to give to the girl.

"Hello." Bashira answered slowly, testing out the new word Molly had taught her before she'd gone on her leave.

Molly frowned, a bruise on the side of Bashira's face catching her eye. "What happened to your face?" She reached out and turned Bashira's face away from her so she could get a better look.

"Come on Dawes!" Captain James called, he'd paused to wait for her to catch up.

"Just a minute Boss." She called back, turning her attention back to Bashira. "What happened?" She asked again, waving Quaseem over to translate.

"My father." Bashira told her uncertainly, trying to find the right word. "He says... he says I love America."

"We're not American." Molly smiled, trying to make light of the situation. "We're British. Did your father do this to you Bashira?" She glanced at Quaseem who quickly translated.

Bashira nodded.

"Now Dawes!" Captain James called, she could hear the exasperation in his voice as he walked back towards her. "We've got a job to do here."

"Coming boss." She snapped. No doubt she'd be in trouble for that later.

"No, now." He was right beside her by this point and he was pissed, she could hear it in his voice.

She turned reluctantly to walk away when Bashira grabbed her arm. "You must not go to the mountains tomorrow." She said quickly.

"What?" Molly frowned, she wasn't convinced she'd heard her right, but Bashira was already disappearing back in to the nearby house, leaving Molly to try and figure it out as she walked back to join the rest of the section to resume their patrol.

* * *

"Dawes." His voice was clipped, he was definitely still angry. "A word." He gestured towards his cabin and she reluctantly followed him in.

"Is everything okay boss?" She asked.

"Close the door." He sighed, she turned and pulled it close behind her. Clearly whatever this was wasn't going to be good. "Do you have any idea how stupid that was in the town back there?" He demanded, pacing back and forth across the small room angrily. "How much danger you could have put the rest of your section in as well as yourself?"

"I only wanted to make sure she was okay!" She defended herself.

"You stay focused on the job you're here to do, at all times Dawes." He snapped. "Those lads out there are dependent on you being there to help them if anything should go wrong, and you can't do your job effectively if you're to busy trying to make friends with the bloody locals!"

"She was hurt! Her father had hit her and I just wanted to make sure she was okay!" She protested.

"I've been lenient with you Dawes, given the circumstances, but make no mistake if you pull a stunt like that again I won't hold back."

She stared at him for a moment, reeling from what he'd just said.

"Now, do not get the fuck involved okay? Is there any part of that that's too complicated for you to understand?" He was pissed, really pissed but it had less to do with the fact that she'd disobeyed him and more to do with the fact that the thought of anything happening to her was unbearable- not that he was about to tell her that.

"This is because of what I told you last night, isn't it?" Her voice dropped to a whisper and she took a couple of steps back from him.

"Of course not." He sighed. "This is about the fact you put yourself in danger out there unnecessarily."

"I was talking to her, that was it." She snapped back. She was dangerously of line here but she just didn't seem to be able to stop herself. "You just don't think I'm capable of looking after myself now you know what Artan did that night." She could feel her eyes filling with tears again just thinking about it, and she mentally gave herself a pep talk to stay strong. She wasn't going to let her guard down in front of him again.

"Molly-" his expression softened and he took a couple of steps towards her, wanting to close the distance between them. "Don't push me away like this." He pleaded.

She cringed away from him as he reached his hand out towards her. "Just leave me alone, please. Let's just forget that last night ever happened and get through these last few weeks and then we won't have to see each other again." She bolted out of the door, leaving him standing there bewildered and confused by her sudden mood swing.


	20. Chapter 20

_Hi everyone, this isn't a very long chapter- it's just kind of here to bridge the gap between what happened last chapter and what's coming next. If there's a few mistakes then apologies, I'm in hospital at the moment and I'm really not well so it probably will be a while before I get to come back and update this again. I already had the majority of this written so I thought I'd post it with this little note, just to let you know that ive not forgotten about this story or given up on it. I'll be back to finish it up as soon as I'm feeling a bit more like myself. There's every chance I'll come back and edit this chapter at some point. Thanks for being patient with me, hopefully I'll be back soon!xx_

She stood for a moment, hesitating awkwardly outside the door to his cabin. It had taken her a good hour to psych herself up to come back and talk to him. She didn't want to, she was still embarrassed after he'd told her off earlier, but there was something about what Bashira had said to her that just didn't sit right with her.

She knocked on the open door, clearing her throat awkwardly. "Do you have a minute boss?" She asked.

He didn't quite manage to hide his surprise at seeing her standing there in the doorway. "What's up Dawes? It'll have to be quick, our surprise guest is due in an hour." He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and waiting for her to speak as she stood just inside the door. He was still a bit annoyed with her for putting herself in danger earlier, which was why he hadn't gone to apologise for snapping at her.

"When I was talking to Bashira earlier-"

He rolled his eyes. "Don't get involved, Dawes. It that not what I bloody told you an hour ago?" He sighed, turning in his chair back to the paperwork in front of him. "I don't know what it is, why it is you feel like you need to save this girl from something, but it needs to stop now. You're putting yourself and the rest of the section in danger." He tossed his pen down and turned back to face her with a sigh.

"Just shut up and listen to me for a minute." She snapped. He was infuriating, yes she'd made a mistake but apparently he wasn't ever going to let her forget it. He was probably going to give her another bollocking after this, but she just needed him to hear her out so she could get it off her chest. "She was trying to tell me something, something is going to happen at the mountain check point tomorrow. I'm sorry, I know I'm out of line here and I shouldn't have spoken to you like that but I need you to hear me out."

"What did she actually say to you Dawes?" He sighed after a moments pause. Part of him wanted to remind her that no matter what had happened between the two of them, he was still her Captain and she couldn't speak to him that way, but whatever the girl had said she was clearly worried and she was right that they did need to take it seriously.

"She said that we shouldn't go to the mountains tomorrow. Her Dad had hit her because he thinks she loves America because she's been talking to me."

"This is why I told you not to get involved." He chipped in, sounding almost pleased with himself.

"The point is I think we can trust what she's telling us, something is going to happen." She chose to ignore him, she was treading on thin ice already.

"That was all she said?" He asked.

She nodded. "She didn't say anything specific boss, but I still think there's some truth in it."

He ran his fingers through his hair, it was hurting his head just thinking about it. "There's also a chance that her father sent her to tell you this because they know we will have to go up there then. There a chance they're setting us up for an ambush."

"I know." She said quietly, her mouth going dry at the thought. "But I didn't want to ignore it."

He nodded. "You've done the right thing. I'll give Major Beck a call and talk it through with the ANA Captains too."

She nodded, smiling slightly. "I'm sorry, if I was a bit rude earlier. Told you I can't keep me bloody mouth shut."

He laughed quietly. "I already knew that Dawes." He smirked. "I know you only mean well by trying to help the girl, but you have to understand how dangerous it is. I said at the start of this tour that I'm taking all of you home in one piece at the end of this- that includes you Dawes."

"Yes boss." She nodded. "I'm sorry, I was just worried about her."

"And I was worried about you." He said softly. "If something had happened to you I would never have forgiven myself."

"Would've thought you'd be glad to see the back of me boss." She joked. "More trouble than I'm worth me."

"I don't know about that, you're an alright medic I guess." He laughed. "I mean you've managed to sort my blisters out, and that's the most important thing about this tour."

"Well Sir, I live for these medical emergencies." She smiled.

"What do you think you'll do when we get back?" He asked. "Have they said anything about finding you another section or where they'll be posting you?"

She felt the familiar wrench in her gut at the thought of having to leave two section. She'd let herself get attached, something she'd not done before. They were all like her family by this point, and the idea of walking away from them and starting from scratch all over again was something she'd been trying to avoid thinking about. And then there was the thought of leaving her Captain. She'd let herself get far too attached to him in particular. She wasn't sure if it was the way he'd swept in to her rescue like a night in shining armour, or maybe just the way he'd made her laugh as he'd relentlessly taken the piss out of the lads. Somewhere along the line she'd grown very found of him.

"I'm not sure yet, I'm not sure what I want any more." She answered. "I guess I've got a lot to sort out once we get back, then see where they send me I guess. It might be nice if they send me off somewhere else I suppose. Fresh start and all that."

"I could always see if Beck will let you stay with two section?" He suggested hopefully. "We need someone who can keep that lot in line."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know if I can commit to a task like that boss."

"Think about it?" He asked. "They'd all really like it if you stuck around, and so would I."

"I will." She smiled.

There was the roar of a helicopter over head and he grinned at her, suddenly looking like an excited school boy. "Come on Dawes, our surprise guest is here and you won't want to miss this!"

The lads from two section were gathered round, arguing noisily about who the suprise guest was going to be. She could hear Mansfield insisting it had to be Prince Harry as she joined them in front of the small stage that had been created. She was really going to miss them.

She laughed as Captain James appeared on the stage in front of them, the lads jumping to their feet and starting to sing God save the queen.

"I'd like to announce our very special guests!" Captain James shouted over the lads. "The royal army music core!"

"What? Where's Prince Harry?" Mansfield asked. She had to laugh, he looked so heart broken.

The lads quickly forgot as the band started playing, they started dancing around and singing along, much to the amusement of the Afghan forces. She watched as Captain James disappeared in to the ops tent, presumably to arrange their patrol up to the mountain check point in the morning. She felt her stomach flip again. These lads were going up there tomorrow because of her, and she knew if it went wrong and it was an ambush like Charles had said then she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.


	21. Chapter 21

_I owe a massive thanks to the lovely SA85 for helping me with this one and correcting my stupid mistakes. Hope you all enjoy!_

"Alright lads, listen up." He called them to a stop as they began to approach the mountain checkpoint, his eyes scanning the rocky ground around them for any sign that they weren't alone. "Keep your eyes open, we're not sure what this is and there's every chance it could be some kind of ambush. So remember, stay focused, stay alert and most importantly stay alive. We're all going home in one piece, got it?"

"Yes boss." There was a chorus of replies and nods from their group. He almost smiled as he realised this was probably the longest two section had actually managed to stay quiet and professional in the entire time he'd known them.

"Right then, let's get on with this." He nodded and smurf began to edge forward through the rocky ditch again with everyone following on behind him. He hung back for a second, waiting until Molly was beside him. He reached out and grabbed her arm, noticing the way she flinched at his touch. "Is everything okay Dawes?" He asked.

"Yes boss." She nodded, not meeting his eyes.

"What is it Dawes? You've hardly said two words all morning. It's not like you to be so quiet." He attempted to make a joke but she didn't even smile in response, she just silently edged further forwards behind the rest of the lads.

"What if something happens to one of them?" She asked hesitantly. "We're going up here because of what Bashira said to me, but if I'd done what you told me to and not got involved then she wouldn't have told me and they wouldn't be putting their lives in danger because of me."

He paused for a second, some movement to his left catching his eye, his fingers tightening around his gun ever so slightly. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realised it was just a goat. "They're soldiers Dawes, it's their job. None of us came out here expecting to sit at Bastion and sunbathe for six months. They're here to do a job, just like we are, and right now that job involves going up here to see what's going on."

"But what if it's an ambush?" She asked. It had been playing on her mind all night. As the rest of the boys had enjoyed the evening's entertainment, she'd sat watching them singing and dancing wondering if they'd all come back down from the mountain the next morning.

"I've spent hours discussing the pros and cons of doing this with Major Beck. Everyone's agreed this is the best course of action. It's credible Intel, we can't just ignore it." His expression softened slightly as he caught her eye. "Everyone is coming back to the base in one piece Dawes, that includes you, okay?"

"Yes boss." She agreed quietly. She wasn't convinced, there was a sinking feeling in her gut about the whole thing. Something just didn't feel right. The further along the ditch they edged the more anxious she got, she could feel her heart hammering in her chest, she was on edge just waiting for that first shot to come from somewhere.

The mountain checkpoint was just about visible as they made their way slowly forward. The nervous chatter from the lads had died down, they were all completely silent as they got closer, the only audiable sound was the running water from the stream below. Weapons raised and ready their eyes scanned the surrounding countryside for any indication that someone might be there.

"Oh shitting hell." Smurf's voice broke the silence as they made the final approach to the checkpoint. "You're up Dawesy."

She hesitated for a split second, it didn't really register that they were talking to her. Then her training kicked in and she jogged forward to where Smurf had stopped dead in his tracks. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but the scene in front of her knocked the air from her lungs.

"Right, I want you all to secure the area." Captain James was behind her, barking orders. "We don't know what happened, and there's every chance whoever is responsible for this could still be in the area, so I want eyes on."

The boys nodded, dispersing themselves to check the area was clear.

"You'll need to confirm the deaths Dawes." She spun around at the sound of his voice behind her and nearly collided with him as he was standing so close. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice much quieter so no one else could hear him.

"Yes boss." She nodded, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a pair of gloves as she looked at the scene in front of her. She'd had to certify deaths before- she'd never forget that first time someone had bled out in front of her- but never quite on this scale. "I don't even know where to start." She admitted, turning to look at him.

He smiled reassuringly. "One step at a time Dawes. One step at a time. Do you need me to do anything?"

She shook her head, willing her legs to work as she stepped forward in the direction of the first Afghan soldiers body. It seemed like an eternity since they'd been sitting in the same spot, laughing with each other about the Americans. They were so young, she forced the thoughts out of her mind as she reached down to feel a pulse. There wasn't going to be any survivors, everyone knew that, but she still had to check every body. They'd been shot multiple times at point blank range, it would've been nothing short of a miracle if anyone had made it out. Closing his eyes with her fingers she stood up and moved on to the next one.

It was a painfully slow process, declaring each one of the eleven Afghan soldiers that had been manning the checkpoint dead, then zipping them into body bags for the Afghan forces to take the bodies away. She was fried, emotionally and physically, by the time she finished, and the realisation that they'd now got to make it all the way back down to the base again almost finished her off.

"Good job Dawes." He was beside her again, a hand resting gently on her shoulder in an attempt to offer her some kind of comfort, the other hand holding out a bottle of water.

She peeled the blood stained gloves off, tossing them on top of her Bergen. "Cheers boss." The water was heavenly for her parched mouth. "Have you got any idea what happened?" She asked.

He paused, looking around. "I'd say from the looks of it, it was probably green on green." He explained, looking grim. "If there'd been contact they would've called it in. And half of them didn't even have their weapons, they looked like they were probably sitting around chatting on a break and got ambushed."

"What now?" She asked, draining the last of the water.

"It's not for us to worry about Dawes." He shrugged. "We've done our bit, it's not up to us to try and work out who did it or why."

"It just seems awful that someone could get away with something like that."

He nodded. "The worlds an awful place Dawes, we all know that, just we get to see more of it than most people." He looked lost in thought for a moment, and she wanted to ask him what he was thinking about. The look of hopelessness passed just as quickly as it appeared, and he was back to ordering everyone around. "Right you lot! Let's get on our way back." He called, standing up and throwing his bag back over his shoulder.

She brushed her hair back off her forehead before putting her helmet on and picking up her bag ready for the journey back down to the base. The adrenaline had started to wear off and the idea of climbing back down through all the rocks made her want to stay exactly where she was.

"You okay Molls?" Smurf appeared beside her as they started on their way back. "That was rough back there."

She nodded, chewing on her lip slightly. "That's one of the worst ones I've seen." She admitted. "Those poor kids."

"It's messed up, taking out their own like that." He agreed. "And you having to certify them all like that."

"It's my job Smurf." She shrugged. "They aren't the first and I doubt they'll be the last either. It's fine okay, just leave it." She wasn't in the mood to have this conversation with him. Her mind was replaying the conversation she'd had with the young soldiers up at the checkpoint before she'd gone on her R&R, the way they'd laughed and smiled as they'd told her about their families. She knew she was going to be haunted by those images as she tried to sleep that night.

"I know." He muttered. "But still, it's not right is it? The way they take down their own like that."

"None of its right Smurf, it's a bloody war." She sighed. It was slow going as everyone edged their way back through the rocky ditches. The uneven surface and the need to keep checking for IED's meant no one was moving very quickly. All she wanted to do was go back and have a shower, she was very much aware of the fact she was covered in someone else's blood.

"Are you sure you're alright Mol?" Smurf asked, frowning at her.

"I said I'm fine Smurf for Gods sake!" She snapped. "Why don't you just do your job and piss off and leave me alone?" No, she wasn't okay as he could clearly see, but she really didn't want to discuss it with him either.

He muttered something under his breath then stayed quiet as they continued walking.

They'd been walking in silence for a good ten minutes when the shot came from nowhere and had them all scrambling for cover. It was like some kind of horrific flash back from that first day with them all hiding in the ditch as the taliban had been aiming for her.

"Contact contact, get down everyone take cover, keep your heads down" Captain James screamed at the top of his lungs. His heart was racing as the panic spread through him at realising how exposed they were. They were in the middle of the mountains with no cover and a sniper on the loose somewhere.

"Is everyone ok?" The resounding yes from everyone made him feel better. At least they all had the foresight to duck down at the first shot.

"Has anyone got eyes on?" He asked making eye contact with Molly who was crouched behind a rock with Smurf.

She was looking through the scope of her rifle "Compound over there on the left Sir?" She replied. It was a question, no one had seen where it had come from because if they were honest, they hadn't been paying the same kind of attention as they had on the way up there. They'd assumed if an ambush was going to happen it would've been on the way up rather than the way back.

Another shower of shots drowned out whatever he said back to her, but confirmed that the shots were definitely coming from the direction of that compound. Two section returned gunfire of their own, but from that distance away and through a building they all knew they were never going to get their target.

"I'm calling in air support. Everyone just sit tight and wait out." Captain James ordered, barking instructions down the radio. He was aware of the fact that they were exposed and vulnerable where they were, and that the shooter in the compound might not be alone.

There was another burst of gunfire which had them cowering even lower than they already were. When they finally looked up again she found that Captain James was now next to her, having thrown himself in her direction during the last round of gunfire.

"You okay Dawes?" He asked, straightening himself up and aiming his gun back in the direction of the compound.

"This is bad isn't it?" She asked quietly so the others wouldn't hear. They were trapped with very little cover and she was acutely aware if there were any more insurgents on the other side of the mountains they were easy targets.

"Well, I won't lie to you Dawes, it's not fantastic." He agreed, squinting as he tried to get his eyes to focus enough to see if there was movement inside the compound.

"I knew we shouldn't have come up here, this is all my fault. If anything happens…"

"Nothing is going to happen, air support is coming. We're going to be back to the base in time for lunch with everyone in one piece okay? Including you Dawes." He told her sternly, he wasn't even going to entertain the idea of anything happening- particularly not to her.

She bit her lip nervously, nodding. She'd been in some bad situations in her time, but this was by far one of the worst. They were sitting ducks, waiting and hoping the air support would get there before the taliban got them.

There was an audible sigh of relief as the roar of the planes was heard in the background. They all ducked down a little further as the planes roared overhead, debris flying around as they headed for their target.

The explosion as they hit the compound was bigger than she'd expected. It seemed to shake the mountains around them.

"I don't think they'll be able to walk that off." Smurf joked as they all stared at the space where the compound had been a few moments ago that had now been flattened.

"Right, let's get a move on." Captain James ordered after a brief moment's pause. "And make sure you keep eyes on. We don't know if they were alone in there."

"You're bleeding." Molly observed from where she was standing next to him.

He raised a hand up to his forehead where she was pointing, staring at his fingers as he moved them back down again to see they were red with his own blood. "I think it's just a scratch, you can have a look at it when we get back to base. I don't want to stay up here any longer than we absolutely have to." He shrugged, turning to lead them back down the mountain.

There was a sense of relief for all of them when they finally made it back through the gates of the FOB. The feeling of safety as the metal gates squeaked closed behind them. They all stripped out of their body armour straight away, sweltering under the heavy kit as the day began to heat up.

"Good job out there." Captain James smiled at them all. "Don't forget to rehydrate this afternoon." He nodded, and they were dismissed. The lads all disappeared in the direction of the showers, laughing at something Mansfield had said.

"Come on then." She said, gesturing to the medical tent.

"What?" He looked confused.

"Your head." She laughed quietly. "Don't tell me you've damaged those few brain cells you have got."

He raised his hand up to his forehead again, he'd forgotten all about it if he was honest. His only focus had been on getting everyone safely back to base. "Oh, yeah. Forgot about that."

He followed her into the little tent, sitting himself down on the bed in the middle as she pulled on a pair of gloves and grabbed some gauze and saline.

"Jesus Dawes." He winced as she wiped the blood off his face trying to see where it was actually coming from.

"Sorry boss." She said, and he was fairly sure he could see her smirking. "Looks like it's just a small cut, probably got hit by some of the debris that went flying around. I'll stick a couple of steri strips on it and you should be good as new."

"What would we do without you?" He joked.

"You'd better work that out boss because in a few weeks time I'll be gone." She reminded him softly. It was getting harder and harder to think about leaving her new section behind every day.

"Are you sure I can't tempt you to stay with us?" He asked, looking up as her as she stuck the steri strips across the cut on his forehead. She was standing in between his legs, so close he could almost reach out and touch her- except he couldn't because she wasn't his, and he needed to remember that.

"What's the matter boss, you going to miss me?" She joked.

"Something like that." He smiled. "We've all grown pretty fond of you these last few months."

"Well." She smiled, throwing her gloves in the bin and stepping back away from him. "If it helps, I've grown pretty fond of you too. But, real life calls and all that."

"Yes." He smiled sadly. "I guess it does."


	22. Chapter 22

"Good hiding spot Dawes." His voice behind her made her jump. How had he managed to sneak up on her so quietly. "Don't think anyone in two section actually thought to look above them." He joked as he climbed up on to the roof of the toilets to sit behind her.

"That was kind of the point." She muttered. She hadn't wanted to have to talk to anyone, including him, and she knew they wouldn't look for her there.

"Everything okay Dawes?" He asked, looking round at her. Her eyes were red and puffy, he could tell she'd been crying. She was clutching the letter she'd received earlier that day in her hands, staring down at it.

She nodded, biting her lip. She didn't look up at him because if she did she was going to lose the little bit of self control she'd still got left, and she didn't need him trying to save her again. "Never been better boss."

He frowned. "Okay, let me rephrase that. What's happened that's got you hiding on top of the toilets crying? And don't even try and say it's nothing."

"It's fine." She shrugged, still not looking at him. She chose instead to stare at the full moon that was visible just above the guard towers, although she could feel his eyes on her.

"It's not fine though, is it?" He asked softly. "Is it what happened at the mountain checkpoint that's bothering you?"

She shook her head. "No. Well yes, sort of… I don't know." She sighed, twisting the letter between her fingers again. "Can't you just leave it?"

He shook his head, a trace of a smile on his lips. "No, you know I'm not going to just leave you here while you're upset."

"I'm-"

"Fine? Yeah, so you keep saying." He interrupted. "But you've been sat up here on your own for hours crying. Has something happened at home? Is that what's upset you?"

"You're annoyingly persistent." She sighed, turning to look at him. She wiped her hands roughly across her face. "I'm fine, everyone at homes fine. It's just one of those days.I'll be okay."

"But?" He prompted.

"But, I'm not sure I'm ready to go back home yet." She admitted. "It's weird, I'm out here in a war zone but it feels like I'm safer here, like the real world doesn't exist and I don't have to deal with any of it."

He glanced around to make sure they were alone, he wouldn't put it past one of two section to have snuck up on them. "Are you worried about going back home because of Artan?" He asked hesitantly.

She nodded slowly. "I'm worried about all of it. Not just him, but I've got to go home and start this whole new life. I've been with him so long, everything I've done has been to please him and now suddenly I've got to figure out who I am without him. Where do I even start?"

"You don't have to worry about him anymore, you can start afresh." He suggested.

"You might say that, but it's not that simple is it? Do you honestly believe that he's just going to say, oh yeah that's fine have a good life, and then walk away and leave me to it?"

"Surely he knows you're not going to go back to him after what happened?" He asked.

Wordlessly, she handed him the now screwed up letter that she'd been holding in her hands. He squinted in the dim lighting to read what it said, glancing at the small polaroid picture that was included of Molly and Artan on a beach together, laughing as though they didn't have a care in the world.

 _Molly_

 _I hope the rest of your tour is going well and you're staying safe out there?_

 _I know things haven't been easy between us, and I know I'm partly to blame for that, and I'm truly sorry for what I've done. I'm not ready to give up on us, and I know you're not either. I can change, things can be different. I can stop drinking, I know I've said that before but I mean it this time I promise. I've felt better since I've been staying with your Mum and I've got a job now too, you don't have to keep looking after me. Things can be different Molly, the way the used to be, before all of this happened and everything went wrong._

 _We're good together, your Mum and Dad think so too. Things have been different since you joined the army, but I can forgive you for that. We can still be great together. I love you, and I know you love me too. Surely that's all that matters?_

 _I know we need to talk about this when you get back, and things are going to be different, but I'm not going to just give up on us. I know it might take you some time to forgive me for what I've done, but I made a mistake and you can't punish me for it forever. It's been punishment enough not having you here with me._

 _I'll be there to pick you up when you get back and we can talk about it then. I know you're not ready to give up on us either. I've missed you so much Molly, I can't wait to have you home again._

 _See you soon_

 _Artan_

"Well…. shit." He mumbled, staring down at the letter as though he might somehow be able to make it disappear if he glared at it long enough.

She reached over and snatched the letter back out of his hands. "Now maybe you see why I'm not that excited at the thought of going home? I've got to sort this out with Artan and decide what I'm going to do about him, see where they decide to post me off to next and then find somewhere to live…" She ran her hands through her hair, turning to look at him.

"What do you mean decide what you're going to go?" He asked. Those were the only words his mind had locked on to. "Surely you're not considering giving him another chance after everything he's done to you?" It made him feel sick just thinking about it.

"It's not as simple as that." She sighed. This was why she hadn't wanted to talk to him about this, he wouldn't be able to understand where she was coming from. She could tell by the look on his face she thought she was insane.

"What is there to think about?" He asked, he sounded almost angry that she was considering it. "Look at what he's done to you! You can't honestly think anything is going to be different if you go back there again?" He wanted nothing more than to grab hold of her and shake some sense in to her.

"You don't understand, you might try and say you do, but you'll never really understand where I'm coming from with this." She shrugged. "When you walked away from your wife, you left her because you didn't love her anymore? Because you'd both decided it was for the best?"

"I suppose." He mumbled. "That's not really the same thing."

"You might not think so, but you two loved each other at some point, things were good and you thought you'd spend the rest of your lives together?"

"Yeah, I guess. Seems like a long time ago now though." He wasn't really sure where she was going with this.

"Well, I felt like that about Artan too." She smiled softly. "I fell in love with the Artan that used to bring me lunch to work, and walk me to work in the morning to make sure I got there safely. If I'd had a bad day at work he'd pour me a glass of wine, run me a bath and listen while I vented about it. He was my best friend, and I thought we'd get married and it'd be some kind of fairytale ending."

"And then he decided to beat the crap out of you instead." He commented, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

She rolled her eyes at him. "If you're going to be like that then you can piss right off." She snapped.

"Sorry." He replied quickly, his cheeks flushing slightly at the telling off.

"He changed, well we both did. It happened slowly, I didn't even notice at first. Then, I don't know, I resented him for sitting at home and drinking our money away, and he got angry with him because he could tell I wasn't happy. Then we just started arguing more and more, he'd get angrier each time, and things just escalated I guess." She could still remember with painful clarity the first time he'd hit her. She'd been so much younger and naive, believing him when he'd promised it would never happen again.

"That's one way to put it." He muttered.

"My point is, that if I could have the Artan that I fell in love with back then I'd go back to him in a heartbeat. He's my best friend."

"Don't let Smurf hear you say that." He joked, deciding humour was probably the best way to diffuse the situation. "He's been telling us all what good mates you are."

She laughed quietly. "He'll be too busy trying to make friends with your new medic as soon as we get back, won't even notice I'm gone." It was supposed to be a joke, but it hit a little too close to home and ended up sounding forced.

His frown deepened at the thought. "At risk of sounding like a broken record here, you don't have to go. It's all been cleared for you to stay with two section permanently if you want to."

She shook her head. "I can't." Her voice was a hoarse whisper. How many nights had she laid there awake, wondering if she could stay with two section after this tour? The thought of leaving them was awful, but she also wasn't sure if she could stay with them after everything that had happened. She couldn't remember the last time she'd stayed in one place for more than a year.

"Give me one good reason." He shifted a little to he could look at her properly. "One good reason why you can't do that and I won't mention it again."

"Because." She answered slowly, looking down at her hands. "I'm fond of two section, and you. That's why I need to go, because this is only going to end up with me getting hurt."

"I don't understand."

"You don't have to understand." She shrugged, getting to her feet and starting to climb down from the roof of the toilets. "You just said I had to give you my reason. I've held up my end of the bargain, so now you don't get to talk to me about this again." She jumped the final few feet down from the toilet roof, looking back up at him.

"Molly-" He moved to climb down and follow her.

"No." She shook her head at him. "Please don't make this any harder for me than it has to be. I just want to get through these last few weeks, get back in one piece and then I'll worry about sorting my life out then." She turned and disappeared in the direction of her tent before he had a chance to say anything else.


	23. Chapter 23

"Nice of you to join us Dawes." His tone was clipped as she slotted in with the rest of the lads. She was only thirty seconds late, Smurf had been just ahead of her as she'd walked over to the gates, but he seemed to be in a funny mood with her since their conversation on top of the toilets the night before.

She flashed him a small, apologetic smile, pulling on her helmet and fastening it under her chin as they prepared to go out on their patrol through the village. She was grateful to be getting out and doing her job, it was a more than welcome distraction from the chaos going on inside her head. She'd hardly slept a wink the night before, her mind racing as she mulled over what to do when she got home.

"Are you actually with us Dawes?" His voice startled her. Apparently she had zoned out long enough for him to finish his lecture and everyone else to get in the back of the truck ready to go.

She felt the blush creeping up her neck again. "Sorry sir." She kicked herself mentally, she needed to sort herself out and focus on what she was doing before she managed to get herself,or one of the lads, killed. It wouldn't matter what she decided to do about Artan if she never made it home.

He caught her arm as she turned to walk away from him, causing her to wrench it free from him again- even months away from Artan hadn't made her less jumpy. "What did I say to you Dawes?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he waited for her to answer.

She stared at him blankly, trying to remember. "Don't get involved?" She mumbled eventually.

He half smiled. "Yes, but that wasn't what I was going for. Stay focused, stay alert, stay alive- remember? I know you've got a lot on your mind, but I would like to get you home in one piece and that's much more difficult if you're wandering around in your own little world."

"Yes sir." She mumbled, looking down at the ground. She knew he was right, she needed to pull herself together. There was something about getting that letter from Artan that had just thrown her completely off balance, it was like he'd somehow managed to invade the little bit of peace she had found in the middle of the Afghan desert.

He hesitated for a moment, as if he was going to say something else, then thought better of it. He nodded and she scarpered off to join the rest of the lads before he could change his mind again.

"You fallen out with the boss?" Smurf asked as she clambered in beside him. The engine rumbled to life and they lurched forwards.

She shook her head, not looking at him. She was aware that all of the lads were now desperately trying to earwig on their conversation, desperate to get any kind of gossip. "No, he just wanted to check something with me." She lied.

Smurf laughed quietly, somehow managing to completely miss her attempt to end the conversation. "Oh Molls, I saw that look he gave you- we've all been on the end of a Captain James bollocking at some point. Come on, tell us what you've done!"

"Just leave it Smurf." She snapped. "Not everything is a joke, okay?"

"Ooh, that time of the month is it Molly?" Mansfield called, earning a few laughs from the rest of the lads.

She shot him a glare that probably could've killed him. "You know what, I honestly can't wait to get away from you lot." She snapped.

No one dared to say anything to her after that, there was a few moments of awkward silence, then they suddenly resumed their conversation about a section night out when they finally got back. She hadn't meant what she said, and she felt a bit sick thinking about it, but she really wasn't in the mood to deal with them. Maybe it'd be easier for all of them if they didn't want her to stay with them after this tour.

When they eventually rolled to a stop just on the outskirts of the village she was more than relieved to get out, the atmosphere in the back had been awkward to say the least after her little outburst. She wanted to apologise to them all, explain that everything had just got the better of her a little, but they had a job to do and it wasn't the time.

Captain James was barking instructions at them as she tried to force herself to clear her mind and concentrate on what she was actually doing. A few more weeks. That was all she had to get through, she kept trying to remind herself that she'd been doing this for years and she could get through a couple of weeks of being a professional. She'd sort herself out properly once she got home. She concentrated on putting her feet one in front of the other, following them further into the village one step at a time.

They'd been walking for about ten minutes when Smurfs voice came through her head set. "There's something not right here boss." She could hear the concern in his voice, her eyes automatically scanning the area around them. He was right, the locals were all on edge, all walking in the opposite direction to the way they were heading.

Then she spotted Bashira, walking slowly out of one of the houses to their left. She was wearing a head scarf, draped down over her body. Something about it just didn't look right, she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

"Stop there!" Captain James shouted, holding up a hand. She was vaguely aware of Qaseem translating what was being said to Bashira. "Lift the scarf up."

Her heart sank as Bashira lifted the bottom of the scarf, revealing a full vest full of explosives underneath. The world around her seemed to stand still apart from her Captain's voice barking orders in her ear.

"Everyone get back, now!" He ordered. "If they blow that up with us standing this close we'll all be red misted. Kinders, I'm going to need you to block all mobile signals, see if we can stop them detonating it. Someone get me the bomb squad in here, asap!"

She felt like she was in a trance, like it was some kind of out of body experience where she was watching herself as she removed her helmet and started walking towards Bashira. She could hear them all shouting at her in the background, but it didn't really register. All she could see was the terrified expression on Bashira's face.

"Molly." The young girl whispered, looking at her uncertainly, tears streaming down her face. "Am I going to die?"

Molly shook her head. "No, you're not gonna die." She was trying to sound reassuring but she could feel the hot tears stinging her eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. "You and me, we're soul sisters."

"Sisters." Bashira repeated, the slightest hint of a smile playing on her lips as she looked at Molly, waiting for some kind of instruction.

"Dawes." Captain James shouted down the radio. She ignored him. "Dawes!"

She eventually responded the second time. "Sir?"

"The bomb squad are here, you need to get out of the way and let them do their job." She could tell from the tone of his voice she was in for one hell of a bollocking when they got back later. He could get her kicked out of the army if he wanted too, if she was honest she was a bit past caring by that point.

She smiled reassuringly at Bashira again before slowly backing away, the guys from the bomb squad approaching Bashira as she moved back. Captain James glared at her as she rejoined two section, she shrugged ever so slightly in response, causing him to shake his head. They were all too focused on what was happening with Bashira for anyone else to say anything.

She didn't think she'd ever felt relief like it, watching as they freed Bashira from the vest. She wanted nothing more than to run over and wrap Bashira in a hug, but the Afghan special forces had swept in before she had a chance to process what was happening, and Bashira was bundled into the back of a truck and swept away.

"Where are they taking her?" She asked, turning to look at Captain James.

He glared back at her. "That's nothing to do with you. You're going to meet me in the ops tent the second we get back and we're going to discuss what just happened. Do you understand that? I know you seem to have problems following basic instructions." He turned around and started barking orders at the others before she and a chance to say anything. He wasn't interested in the slightest in what she had to say, he was so angry with her for putting herself in that kind of danger, it was probably for the best he waited a while and gave himself a chance to calm down before he spoke to her about it or he might be in danger of losing it completely.

The truck pulled through the gates of the FOB and she disembarked, taking her helmet off and feeling the breeze on her face. She barely had time to take a breath before she heard his voice barking at her, and looked up to see him standing two feet away from her, arms folded across his chest, glaring at her, "With me Dawes, Now." There was no chance she was getting out of this one.

She shot Smurf a helpless look, and he smiled reassuringly at her as she swung her bag over her shoulder and reluctantly followed him towards the Ops tent.

"Sit." He ordered, pointing to a chair as they walked through. She did as she was told, silently for probably the first time ever. "What the bloody hell were you thinking Dawes?!" He demanded.

She opened her mouth but nothing came out, it took a few seconds for her brain to actually form a sentence under his ferocious glare. "She was frightened, I was trying to keep her calm."

"It was fucking stupid, that's what it was." He snapped. "It was sheer luck that they didn't manage to detonate it, because if they had you'd have been red misted. We wouldn't even have been able to scrape you into a body bag to return you to your mother. I specifically told you to move back, does that sound like an instruction to run closer to the explosives Dawes?" He paced angrily back and forth in front of her.

"No sir." She muttered.

"No, so please do enlighten me as to what on earth you were thinking? It was reckless and downright stupid, and if you think you're going to get a medal or any kind of thanks for putting yourself and the rest of the section in danger then you're sorely mistaken." He stopped in front of her, hands on hips as he waited for an answer.

"I wasn't thinking." She admitted, looking up at him. "All I could see was her standing there, looking at me, terrified because she didn't know what was happening and everyone was shouting at her. I did what I thought was best at the time, looking back it might not have been the best decision, but I stand by it even if you don't agree with it"

"You could've been killed." He reminded her, his voice a little softer.

"It's my life." She said quietly, peering up at him to see if he was still giving her that look.

"That may be the case Dawes, but I have a responsibility to keep you safe on this tour and get everyone through it and my job would be made a whole lot easier if you'd listen to the instructions I give you." He sighed, exasperated

"I'm sorry okay, I messed up, but I was doing what I thought was best."

"I'm not sure you've got the best track record when it comes to making decisions." He added sarcastically.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" She snapped, getting to her feet. He could go and tell Major Beck if he wanted to, she was beyond caring, but she wasn't going to have him look down his nose at her.

"I didn't mean Artan." He said, trying to backtrack quickly. It was the truth, it wasn't what he'd meant at all.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "If you've got something to say then how about you just come out and say it? You're so convinced that I need saving from this awful situation I've got myself in to, because I'm not capable of sorting my own life out!" She'd gone too far, she was vaguely aware of that somewhere in the back of her mind but she'd just had enough.

"Well, if you're thinking about going back to him then maybe you do need someone to stop you!" He shot back.

"Maybe I'm just supposed to end up as a mess, just like my mother." Her voice cracked a little and she could feel the tears coming, she needed to get out of there.

"See this…. This is what I don't get." He sighed, leaning back against the table. "On one side, I've got Molly Dawes the soldier who won't take any shit from anyone and is more than capable of fighting her own battles. Then there's the other Molly who's considering going back to the man who beat her half to death just because it's easier than the unknown of what might happen if you leave him."

"Don't." She spat through gritted teeth, bolting towards the door. "You don't get to make this any harder for me than it already is."

She bolted out of the door before he could say anything else. She needed some time and space to breathe. The sooner this tour was over the better, she needed to get out of there and as far away from him as possible.

Smurf was just outside the tent as she bolted across the camp in the direction of the med tent hoping for some peace and quiet.

"Molly, wait up!" He called, running after her.

She didn't stop, hoping that he might get the message that she didn't want to talk, but he followed her the whole way and into the tent. "What's going on Molly, is everything okay?"

"No Smurf, everything's not okay." She sobbed, the tears she'd been trying to fight now spilling down her cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered uncertainly.

She shook her head. "I can't explain it all again Smurf, I just need five minutes and I'll be fine. Thanks though."

"Well." He shifted uncertainly. "If I'm being honest Molls, I think almost everyone heard you and Captain James at each other's throats so you probably don't need to fill me in at all."

"Oh for gods sake." She groaned. "Can this day actually get any worse?"

He smiled at her. "I'm going to say no. Well, unless you think that fella of yours is going to turn up unannounced in the middle of Afghanistan?"

She couldn't help but laugh. "No, I think that's a bit far even for him."

"Do you want me to sort him out for you when we get back?" He winked.

"Thanks Smurf, but I don't think that's going to help… I'll tell you what you can do though?"

"Anything." He answered straight away.

"Go and get me a bloody cup of tea before I have to go back out there and face that lot." She pleaded.

"Consider it done." He winked. He paused in the doorway for a second. "Oh and Molls? I'm here if you need me, you don't have to pretend it's okay. You're my mate, it's what I'm here for."

"Thanks Smurf." She answered softly as he ducked out of the tent, leaving her alone for a few minutes to gather her thoughts.


	24. Chapter 24

"Shit, sorry." She mumbled, feeling her cheeks flush bright red. It was still early, the sun only just beginning to rise, and he was the last person she'd expected to see sat in the corner of the little canteen area.

He raised an eyebrow, clutching his mug of steaming coffee- he'd run out of nespresso capsules and been forced to resort to the instant stuff instead. "What are you doing up this early Dawes?" He asked as she stirred her mug of tea before turning to face him.

"I could ask you the same thing? You haven't got Smurf's snoring to keep you awake all night so what's your excuse?" She joked. For a brief moment it was like the conversation they'd had on top of the toilets had never happened and things were back to normal.

He ran his hands through his hair, taking a sip of his coffee and trying not to pull a face at the bitter taste. "I've had some stuff to sort out, one of the ANA guys has gone AWOL." He sighed.

"Oh." She frowned, sitting down opposite him. "Who?"

"Sohail?" He saw her nod of recognition. "I'm sure Smurf will be pleased, he never liked the guy."

"What do you think happened?" She asked curiously, resting her elbows on the table as she looked at him. "You don't think he's actually taliban do you?"

"It's a possibility." His expression was grim. "I'm a little concerned that he might've had something to do with the green on green up in the mountains." He admitted, sipping at his coffee again.

"So what do we do?" She asked expectantly.

"Nothing." He shrugged. She looked at him in confusion. "I got word late last night, we're heading back to Bastion for the rest of the tour."

"But surely we can't just go if he's out there somewhere?" She had a sickening feeling in her stomach at the thought of going back to Bastion- it meant their tour was almost over, and it was almost time for her to go home and face what had happened.

"The ANA are in control of the area, we've done our bit Dawes." He shrugged, draining the last of his coffee. "We've got a week left on this tour, decompression and then home. There's not much more we can do."

She traced her finger around the rim of her mug. "It's gone so quickly." She mused out loud.

"It has." He agreed, studying her expression. She'd retreated into her own little world for a moment, and he so wished he knew what she was thinking. "But you're stuck with us for a few more weeks so don't get too excited just yet." He joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'll be sick of the sight of you all." She laughed. "God I hope my next section aren't as annoying as this lot."

"You won't get a Captain this good though." He winked, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"I could argue that you won't find another medic this good." She smiled back at him.

"Oh I know Dawes." He smiled, and there was a hint of sadness in his voice. "I know you said you've already made up your mind, but are you sure there's nothing we can do to change it?"

"We've already had this conversation." She reminded him softly. "I'll miss you, and the rest of the lads, but this is for the best for all of us."

"But Smurf and the rest of the boys know about Artan now, you don't have to run away from it. They don't think any differently of you because of it."

She shook her head. "We can't keep going round and round in circles with this. I'm not even convinced I'm going to stay in the army after this, never mind in this bloody section, so just leave it."

"You're not seriously thinking about leaving are you?" He couldn't hide the look of shock on his face. "Why on earth would you do that?"

She shrugged, swirling the remains of her tea around in the bottom of the mug. She couldn't meet his eyes, she hadn't meant to tell him but it had just sort of come out- he'd got a habit of doing that to her somehow.

"I haven't really made any decisions yet." She shrugged. "Just something to think about."

"Do you not enjoy it anymore?" He asked. "I thought you liked being on tour?"

"I did… I do." She sighed, she hadn't got a clue what she wanted to do, and him giving her that disapproving look wasn't really helping her either. "I don't know if I've always enjoyed being on tour because it means I'm not at home, and I don't have to deal with Artan, or if I really enjoy it. I know that doesn't make sense but that's the best I can do to describe it."

"Just promise me you won't rush into anything?" He pleaded. "You're a fantastic soldier, and I'd hate for you to throw it all away because of what's happened and then spend the rest of your life regretting it."

"Don't panic, I'm not going to do it the second I get off the plane. I just keep thinking, what would things have been like with me and Artan if I hadn't joined the army? A lot of the problems we've had came from me joining the army and being away all the time, maybe I'm the one who screwed it up."

"I know I sound like a broken record, but you've got stop trying to make it all your fault." He smiled softly, taking both of their empty mugs and walking over to the kitchen area to refill them. "You don't have to keep making excuses from him and trying to make it your fault."

She sat quietly as he finished making their drinks, mulling over what he'd said. A few seconds later he put another mug of tea down in front of her and sat back down across from her, looking at her as he waited for her to speak.

"I don't know." She sighed. "I keep thinking maybe I should give him another chance, maybe he has changed this time. Then I think about all the other times he's promised me that he's changed and it'll be different and it's lasted all of two hours. How do I know that this time will actually be different?"

"You don't." He answered simply. "You know what I think, but it's not my decision to make, it's yours. It's your life, you need to make sure whatever you decide to do you're one hundred percent happy with it." He wanted nothing more than to scream and plead with her not to even consider going back to him, but he was worried she'd push him away if he tried to persuade her. At least she was talking to him, that was a start.

"Oh I don't know." She sighed, pushing her hair back off her forehead. "Maybe I'll have some kind of epiphany while we're sitting around at Bastion?"

"I don't know about sitting around. I thought maybe we could do some more of those ten mile runs in full kit, you know how much two section enjoyed those." He joked.

She pulled a face. "Add that to the list of reasons not to stay in your section." She joked.

"Ouch!" He pretended to be hurt. "And there was me thinking I was your favourite Captain!" He joked.

"Always Sir." She winked. "In all seriousness, I owe you one. Everything that's happened these last few months, I couldn't have got through it without your help." She suddenly turned serious again.

"You don't have to thank me for it." He smiled softly. "I'd like to think you're my friend, and that's what friends are for right?"

"Right." She agreed quietly, disappearing back into her own thoughts for a moment.

"If you're going to be my friend, and as you're not going to be in my chain of command any more, you can buy me a beer or three when we get back Dawsey." He smiled.

"You just called me Dawsey!" She sounded surprised.

He laughed quietly. "Well, as we're friends now I thought I could get away with it."

"As it's you boss, I'll let you get away with it." She smiled. God she was going to miss this. "I'll even buy you a beer when we get back, promise."

"You'd better keep that one quiet Dawes, or you'll be buying whole section a drink." He laughed. He wondered if she'd keep her word, the thought of seeing her again once they got back brightened his mood considerably. He'd had a horrible feeling she'd just disappear once they got back and that would be the last he'd see of her, but she was giving him hope that it might not be like that after all.

"If you tell them then you'll be buying them all drinks, and me too." She laughed. "You're the one on a Captains salary, you can afford it mate."

"You're lucky I'm fond of you Dawes or I'd have you cleaning the toilets." He laughed.

"Fond of me eh?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

He felt his cheeks flush under her gaze. "Yes Dawes." He smiled.

"Well, ditto Sir." She answered softly.


	25. Chapter 25

She was boiling, they were all squashed into the back of the truck together in forty degree heat as they made the slow journey back to Bastion. It felt as though the journey had been going on for hours, but in reality it was only minutes. The fact that she was going to have to spend another couple of hours sandwiched between Smurf and Captain James, listening to all of the lads talking about their plans for once they got back home didn't fill her with joy.

She was sad to be leaving the FOB, it marked the start of the end of the tour, and the end of her time with two section. The journey back to Bastion meant it was very nearly time for her to go back to her normal life, and all of the things that came with that. She'd formed some amazing friendships during her tour, something that she'd not had for years, and the thought of having to walk away from them all again in a few weeks time was painful.

"You'll come, won't you Molly?" Mansfield asked, looking at her expecting an answer. "The section night out!" He prompted when she looked at him blankly.

"Oh, yeah. Of course I will." She smiled. It was an outright lie, she'd got no intention of going- she'd got no idea where she was headed once they got back, but she'd got no plans to stick around- but it was easier to lie to them than be honest, she didn't need them trying to persuade her otherwise.

Smurf raised an eyebrow at her. "You'd better not be planning to stand us up Mols, you'll hurt our feelings." He joked.

"You can't do that Molly!" Mansfield shrieked, looking horrified that she might even consider it. "Even the boss is coming, you have to!"

"I'll be there Mansfield, don't listen to him. I promise." She smiled, that uneasy feeling churning in her stomach again.

She wanted to go with them all, so so desperately. But she knew things were going to go one of two ways once they got back to England. Either she was going to have to pick up right where she left off, and that included going back to Artan- in which case there was no chance she was ever going to be able to go anywhere without him punishing her for it later. The other option, and if she was honest the more terrifying one, was that she was going to have to disappear completely once they got back. If she was planning to escape Artan then she'd have to leave everything behind from her old life that might allow him to find her, and that would probably mean leaving the army too. Or at the very least getting herself far enough away that he wouldn't think to look for her.

The truck jarred to a halt before Manfield had the chance to try and get her to make any other promises, sending them all shooting forward in their seats.

"Woah, what was that?" Fingers complained, shuffling back in his seat to create some distance between himself and Mansfield.

"Sheet up ahead, in the middle of the road. It's held down by rocks and there's quite a bit of blood. Maybe a body?" Came the response.

There was a split second of hesitation, then their Captain was barking orders once more. "Right, I want you all out and covering. I'll go and check it out. Dawes, be on standby just incase." He ordered as they all piled out of the back of the truck, weapons raised and ready.

There was a noticeable shift in the atmosphere, the lads who had been laughing and joking a few moments earlier had suddenly been replaced by a group of professional soldiers, one hundred perfect focused on the task in front of them.

She watched, heart in her mouth as their Captain made slow progress down the dusty road, each step hesitant as he scanned the area around him for IED's. It felt as though they were all holding their breath, waiting for the gunfire or explosion that had to be coming. They were all more than aware that this was almost certainly a trap, they just didn't know exactly how yet.

She just couldn't take it any longer, it was as though her legs were moving towards him and her brain hadn't quite caught up. He hadn't got far, it took her seconds to close the short distance between the two of them, until she was standing uncertainly beside him and he was glaring at her as though he wanted to kill her.

"Have you got a death wish or something Dawes?" He hissed, looking at her pleadingly. "I told you to wait over there."

"I just…" She hesitated for a moment, glancing over her shoulder at the rest of the section who were watching on with a look of confusion on their faces. They were just out of earshot, so they couldn't hear what she was saying, but she still felt a little uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and forced the words out before she had a chance to change her mind. "I just wanted to say, before we get to that sheet- y'know, in case someone detonates it and we both get blown to smithereens… Well, I'm really quite fond of you boss, and I owe you so much for everything you've done for me. If you hadn't been there for me I really don't know what I would've done."

"This isn't really the time Molly." He sighed. "But, you're right and we don't know what might happen, so I'm going to come out and say it… I'm more than a little fond of you Molly, and you know I'd do anything to help you… We can do this later, when we get back home even, just not here." He looked at her pleadingly.

She nodded. "Sorry boss, I just wanted to make sure I had the chance to say it, y'know… Just incase."

"I know." He agreed quietly, glancing at her once more before he continued his steady progress towards the sheet, with her close behind him.

"It moved, it fucking moved!" Smurf's voice came through the radio and she felt the rush of adrenaline through her body. He was right she realised, the sheet moved again and this time a blood covered hand emerged from underneath.

She sprinted the final few meters, her training kicking in as she pulled the sheet of to reveal Sohail underneath, his body battered and bruised and his clothes soaked in his own blood.

"Sohail, can you hear me?" She called, dropping to her knees and rummaging through her bag trying to find the supplies that she needed.

He grunted in response, and she felt the relief flood through her. She was vaguely aware of the sound of Captain James organising a medivac behind her.

"That's it." She smiled down at him as she started assessing his injuries. "You stay with me mate… Where are we on that helicopter boss?" She called over her shoulder.

"Three minutes out." He replied. "Do you need me to do anything?" He asked, crouching down on the other side of Sohail.

She handed him a wedge of gauze and a pair of gloves. "Can you try and clear some of that blood up so I can see where it's coming from?"

He nodded in agreement, working silently.

"How are you doing Sohail? You still with me?" She asked, shining her torch in his eyes to check his pupils.

"You English." He muttered. "You never stop talking."

She laughed quietly. "You're right, and I'm not going to stop any time soon either."

The roar of the helicopter coming in overhead sent a rush of relief rushing through her veins. She leaned forward, trying to shelter Sohail from the dust and debris that flew around as the helicopter came in to land.

The medic jumped off the helicopter, running over to meet them. In a flurry of activity they had Sohail on a stretcher and into the helicopter.

They shielded their eyes again as the helicopter rose upwards, watching for a moment as it disappeared into the distance, heading for Bastion.

"Right, everyone load up." Captain James called after a moment's pause. "Let's get moving again."

She moved to follow the rest of the boys back, he reached out and caught her arm to stop her. "Good job Dawes." He smiled.

"Thanks Boss." She answered softly.

He put a hand on her a shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Come on, let's get you back to Bastion, we can finish that conversation we were having then."

She nodded slightly, shrugging out from under his hand and walking off to climb back into the truck so that they could continue their journey back to Bastion. Suddenly she was looking forward to getting back there a whole lot more.


	26. Chapter 26

"How're you doing Sohail?" She asked, one eye watching the monitors that were beeping away beside him. In the couple of hours that had passed since they'd found him in the middle of the road the bruising on his face had started to come out, contrasting with the white bandage that was wrapped around his head.

"Had better days." He mumbled.

She was aware of Captain James finishing his conversation with the doctor and moving to stand beside her. From the grim look that he'd shared with the doctor she knew things weren't looking good for Sohail.

"What happened?" Captain James asked softly, coming to stand beside her at the end of the bed. "Who did this, the Taliban?"

Sohail nodded slightly, grimacing at the movement. "They did this to me because I refused to kill someone." His words were slurred a little, causing Molly's eyes to wander back to the monitors. She knew this was a bad sign, but there was very little else they could do for him by this point.

"Who did they want to you kill?" Captain James asked, the frown that seemed to be etched on to his face permanently deepening a little.

Sohail didn't speak, raising his left hand slowly and shakily to point straight at Molly.

"Me?" She whispered, her heart stopping in her chest.

There was no answer, the rhythmic beeping of the machines suddenly stopping and Sohail's hand falling heavily back on to the bed as his body began to shake.

"Shit." Molly muttered, her training kicking in as she moved around to the side of the bed. "We need some help here!" She shouted. A swarm of doctors and nurses descended on them, and Molly found herself quickly being pushed out of the way, watching helplessly from the end of the bed.

"Come on." Charles said, putting a hand on her arm and pulling her along with him as he started to walk. "There's nothing you can do here." She didn't answer him, so he continued to pull her along, forcing her to keep walking through the corridors of the hospital. She was more than a little thankful for his hand on her arm, his firm grip was probably the only thing that was keeping her upright by that point.

She stumbled out of the doors of the hospital, into the searing heat and bright sunlight of Bastion. The hustle and bustle of the base startled her, she'd somehow forgotten that life had carried on as normal outside of the hospital while all that had been going on.

"Molly." He bent down in front of her as she stopped abruptly, gasping to try and get some air into her lungs. She felt as though she was suffocating. "Take a deep breath, what's wrong?" He had a hand on each of her shoulders and he was talking to her like a frightened child.

"They want me dead." She mumbled eventually. "Sohail's dead because he wouldn't do it for them. This is my fault. I should've just done my job and not got involved with Bashira or anything, then none of this would've happened!"

"This isn't your fault." He told her soothingly, she looked like she was seconds away from having a full on meltdown. "Because of you Bashira is somewhere safe where they can't hurt her."

"And because of that Sohail is dead."

"You don't know that." He argued.

"I'm a medic, I know what I saw. He's not coming back from that." She sighed. "It's me, everything I touch turns to shit."

"Don't think like that, you know it's not true." He squeezed her arm gently, trying to offer some kind of reassurance.

"Easy for you to say." She retorted. "First my Mum and Dad, then Artan and now all of this."

"You can hardly compare what happened with Artan to this." He frowned.

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "So now you're telling me what I can and can't think?" She pushed him away from her.

"I didn't mean it like that." He protested, but he knew deep down he'd already lost this argument with her. She'd got that look in her eye, her defenses were up and she wasn't going to listen to him. It was as though the moment they'd had, standing in the middle of the desert convinced they were both about to be blown to pieces, had never happened. She was closing herself off from him in front of his eyes and it was breaking his heart to watch it.

"I need to go, I need some space." She mumbled under her breath, already half walking half running away from him.

"Molly, wait!" He called, starting to follow her.

She stopped and spun around on her heel so she was facing him. He could see her fighting to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I need you to forget what I said to you earlier, about being fond of you." Her voice was a hoarse whisper.

"I meant what I said." He answered softly, taking a few steps to close the distance between them. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and close the distance between them so he could pull her in to his arms. But this wasn't the place, as much as he hated it he was still her commanding officer and he was going to have to obey the rules for a few more weeks at least, no matter how difficult it might be.

"So did I." She answered softly, looking down at her boots as she found herself unable to meet his eyes. If she looked at him she was going to break and she'd be in his arms before she knew it. This was what she needed to do, no matter how much she hated it. "But, this is only going to end up with one of us getting hurt."

"You don't know that, you've not even given it a chance." He argued.

"I'm a mess Charles." She whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm no good for anyone, especially not you. I don't want to be the one that hurts you when in a few months you figure this out for yourself and everything goes to shit. You deserve better."

She spun around again, striding off in the direction of her quarters before he could say anything else. The tears she had been so desperately trying to hold back finally spilling down her cheeks.

She was doing the right thing, he deserved so much more than she could ever give him. It had been a moment of madness, allowing herself to think that he could ever really be happy with someone like her. But if it was the right thing to do, why did it have to hurt so god damn much?

The only saving grace was she could count the days left on their tour on her hands. A few more days and she'd be free off two section, and her Captain. While that was a relief, it also brought back the terrifying thought that she'd only got a few days until she'd have to face Artan again and she'd still got no idea what she was going to do.


	27. Chapter 27

"Dawes, have you got a second?" Came the call from outside the med tent.

She rolled her eyes, unable to stop herself, as she turned to face the doorway where he was standing. She wanted to tell him to piss off, she'd said everything she had to say at the hospital hours ago and she didn't need to repeat it all. It had been hard enough the first time round. Instead she forced a polite smile and prayed it was going to be something work related. If it was his blisters he was going to talk to her about she could handle it, anything else and she'd probably end up screaming or crying.

"What can I do for you Sir?" Her tone was clipped and icy cold. It made him flinch slightly.

"I meant to say to you at the hospital-"

"Let me stop you right there." She interjected, her voice dropping to a low whisper as she closed the distance between them, worried someone might hear. "I said everything I have to say to you at the hospital, and you don't get to come in here and try and make me feel guilty or make this any harder for me than it already is." She snapped.

He looked surprised, taking a step back. "I respect your decision, and quite frankly it bothers me that you think I'd come in here and pressure you into something you don't want to do" He answered quietly, trying to regain his composure and get back on track.

She felt her cheeks flush, she'd been braced for him to argue with her, it hadn't ever crossed her mind that he might just accept what she'd said and carry on with his life as normal. It hurt more than she thought it would.

"What I was actually coming to tell you, was that Bashira's father is high on the American's wanted list, they think it was him that had Sohail killed when he didn't obey their orders, and somehow you're the only one who's ever laid eyes on him. They've got some insurgents being held in the detention centre now and they need you to ID them." His tone was clipped and professional as he refused to meet her eye.

Suddenly she wanted to put her arms around him and tell him she hadn't meant a word of what she'd said, that she wished so badly that they could get some kind of fairy tale ending after the tour was over- but then the reality popped back into her head, and she reminded herself that no matter how much she might want it, it wasn't ever going to end well for either of them. It was better this way, less painful, or at least that she was what she was trying to tell herself.

So instead she bit her lip, and nodded politely. "I'll go now Sir, thank you." She answered, ducking out of the tent without waiting to be dismissed. She couldn't stand to be in there a moment longer with him looking at her like that. She could deal with the pain her decision had caused herself, but she could see from his expression she'd hurt him- and that really stung. She wished so badly she could take it back.

She'd taken a few steps when she realised he was right beside her, his steps matching her own.

"Are you following me?" She asked, frowning at him.

"I wouldn't say following, that sounds like I'm stalking you." He snorted. "I'm your commanding officer, of course I'm coming with you."

She bit back the sharp retort on the end of her tongue. It was going to be a long few weeks if things were going to be like this between them the whole time. She just had to keep reminding herself that a clean break would be easier in the long run, and that was going to mean making sure none of them really wanted to stay in touch.

"I don't need you to look after me." She muttered under her breath, she felt like he was always there watching over her, like he felt she couldn't take care of herself.

"So it seems." He mused out loud, his tone flat. "It's not like I've got anything better to do though is it Dawes. And besides I need to know what's going on in case two section are going to be involved in any operation." He pointed at a group of containers in front of them that housed the detention centre.

She froze for a second, feeling her stomach flip with anxiety. She came to an abrupt stop, causing him to walk a few paces in front of her, turning back to look at her with a frown.

"Everything okay Dawes?" He asked, waiting for her to move to catch up with him.

She nodded, feeling like she wouldn't be able to speak even if she tried. She'd not given it a second thought walking over there, but she'd suddenly been struck by a paralysing fear of going in there to confront the man who'd tried to have her killed.

She took a shaky step forward, willing her legs not to give out from under her as she caught up with him and they carried on into the detention centre.

She forced a smile as she saw Quaseem's friendly face smiling back at her.

"Hello Molly." He smiled quietly.

"Major Morley." Captain James greeted the American man standing beside Quaseem with a handshake. "This is Lance Corporal Dawes."

"Pleased to meet you Sir." She choked out. Her heart was racing in her chest, and she briefly wondered if anyone else could hear it. It seemed so loud.

"There's three detainees inside." Major Morley spoke, pulling her out of her thoughts. "We just need to know if any of them are the man you know as Badrai, or if you recognise any of them at all."

"Yes Sir." She nodded.

He turned and nodded at a soldier who was stood by the door of the container, who opened the door and allowed it to swing open. Molly took a hesitant step forward, following Major Morley into the dimly lit space, and suddenly she was so grateful for the reassuring presence of Captain James behind her.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the change in light as they stepped out of the scorching afghan sun. She squinted at the three detainees who were cross legged on the floor, a sack covering their heads as they were held in place by the American soldiers.

Major Morley nodded again to his men who were stood behind the detainees, and the sacks were removed giving Molly her first opportunity to look at their faces.

As quick as a flash, before anyone could react the man in the middle sprung up and rushed forward, smacking her round the face with a powerful punch and sending her flying before anyone could react.

She could hear the struggle as the American soldiers tackled him to the ground as she struggled to push herself upright and clamber to her feet. She reached out gratefully and took the hand being offered to her by Captain James as he pulled her to her feet.

"I assume that's him." Major Morley commented, pointing to her attacker.

Molly studied him for a moment as he squirmed, trying to get free of the two soldiers who now had hold of him. "It's not him Sir. I don't know who any of them are."

"Well Lance Corporal Dawes, it seems whoever he is he certainly knows who you are." Major Morley raised an eyebrow.

Molly moved a hand up to her lip subconsciously, cringing as she came into contact with a fresh wound. She could taste the blood in her mouth so she wasn't sure why it had come as a surprise.

"You should go and get that looked at." Captain James commented quietly, reminding her that he was stood beside her. "Did you need us for anything else Major?"

"No, that's all for now." Major Morley answered. "I'll let you know if we have any further developments. Go and get yourself sorted Dawes."

"Thank you Sir." She answered politely, following Captain James out of the container and back into the blinding Afghan sunlight.

"Let me have a look at that." He said, stopping a hundred meters away from the detention centre and reaching towards her face.

She cringed back away from him before he could touch her. "I think you'll find I'm the medic here not you. I can look after myself."

"You're bleeding." He commented. "That looked nasty."

"I've had worse." She replied. She hadn't meant it like that at all, she hadn't been referring to Artan she'd just wanted him to stop fussing but she saw the way his face fell and his eyes turned dark.

"Yes." He said quietly. "I suppose you have. I'll leave you to it then Dawes, you know where I am if you have any problems." And then he walked off, disappearing in the direction of her quarters and leaving her to wander back to the med tent alone with her thoughts.

It was only fifteen minutes later when he reappeared in the doorway to the tent again, clearing his throats to get her attention.

"What do you want now?" She snapped. "I'm fine it's just a scratch." She stuck the last steri strip in place over the cut, which was actually much deeper than she'd thought and spun to face him.

He held his hands up in surrender. "I was just coming to let you know, the man who attacked you in Bashira's brother. He's given the Americans information that suggested that her father has found her in the safe house in Kabul, and that he's headed there to get her back."

Her blood ran cold. "He can't, she's safe. She has to be." She whispered.

"The Americans are organising an operation to intercept him at a checkpoint before he gets that far. Two section and you will obviously need to be involved so that you can ID him, are you up to it Dawes?" He frowned.

"Yes Boss." She muttered, her mind reeling. "When?"

"We're waiting for the go ahead from the Americans. It'll be in a few hours rather than days though, be ready. I'm going to go and brief the boys now. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

"Thanks Boss." She called softly as he disappeared again, leaving her to get herself ready to go as soon as they were told.


	28. Chapter 28

It was 4am, and they were standing under the dim lights of the base, waiting to board the helicopter that would drop them a few miles from the checkpoint where they were hoping to intercept Bashira's father as he travelled to Kabul.

She glanced around at the faces of her friends and fellow soldiers as they stood beside her, waiting for the briefing to begin. She wondered if they felt as sick as she did, or maybe that was just because she felt responsible- the whole reason they were being deployed on this mission is because she'd become too involved with Bashira. If anything happened to any of them, she'd have it on her conscience for the rest of her life.

"Listen up." Captain James was in front of them, his helmet held in his hands, headset strapped on and ready to go as he looked at the soldiers in front of them. "I've just finished finalising things with Major Morley. We are to be air dropped in while it's still dark to give us the element of surprise. There's a compound just by the checkpoint where we can wait out. Then we'll support the ANA and American forces with stopping the vehicle that we believe Badrai is travelling in. Understood?" He stood, hands on hips looking at each and everyone of them.

"Yes Sir." Came the chorus of replies.

"Good." He nodded. "Just remember, stay focused, stay alert and most importantly stay alive. We've got three weeks left on this tour and then decompression and I want all of us there together. Okay?"

"Yes Sir."

He hesitated for a moment, and then waved them forward. As they boarded the helicopter Molly found herself sliding into the seat next to Smurf.

"Jesus Mol, what happened to you?" He asked, looking at her bruised and swollen lip from the events earlier in the day. Immediately the whole of two section turned to stare at her.

"Long story, it's not as bad as it looks." She shrugged it off, she had a sudden flashback to the amount of times she'd used that exact line after Artan had beaten the crap out of her. It made her stomach turn with anxiety. "How are you feeling about all this?" She asked.

"I ain't gonna lie Mol, I just haven't got a good feeling about it. My Mum wrote to me and said she'd got a bed feeling, like she did right before Geraint died. It's shitting me up a bit." He sighed, now distracted from his line of questioning about her injury.

"It'll all be fine." She smiled, not sure if she was trying to reassure him or herself. "Nice and easy, find the bad guy and then we'll all be on our way home."

His response was drowned out by the roar of the helicopter as it lifted off from Bastion and headed off into the pitch black Afghan night. She briefly locked eyes with her Captain, who had positioned himself at the other end of the helicopter with Kinders. She felt her cheeks flush, averting her eyes away from him to stare out of the door she was sat next to, although she couldn't see anything other than the darkness of the night.

In what somehow seemed to simultaneously feel like a lifetime, but also somehow no time at all, the helicopter touched down in the vast desert, leaving them huddled in a rocky ditch in the dark as it took off and flew back to the safety of Bastion.

"Okay." Captain James' hushed voice came through their headsets. "Is everyone's night vision working?"

She could hear the click of everyone pulling down the goggles that had been attached to the top of their helmets in preparation. "Yes boss."

"Good." She heard him take a deep breath, she knew he was thinking about something. "Smurf,I want you up front with me, Dawes stay in the middle and Kinders bring up the rear. Be careful, it's dark- if there's any taliban out there we won't be able to see them coming and we also won't be able to see what's ahead of us. We've got a few miles to go along this drainage ditch, stay together."

"Yes Boss." Came the reply, they quickly rearranged themselves, Smurf patting her on the back as he passed her to take the lead and then they began their slow procession along the dark and rocky ditch.

They'd been making slow, but steady progress, for around an hour when a loud bang came out of nowhere and had them all scrambling for cover.

"What was that?" Kinders voice was breathless through the radio.

"Heads down everyone, now." Captain James snapped. "Did anyone see anything?"

"No Sir."

There was another loud bang that sent them cowering even further into the ditch. They were vulnerable and exposed, with nowhere to go. It was literally their worst nightmare.

She almost started laughing hysterically as she felt a huge rain drop land on her cheek. "It's blood thunder!" She called.

"What?" For the first time ever her Captain was staring at her blankly.

"It's bloody thunder, look." She laughed, holding out her hand as the rain began to pour from the sky, splashing off the ground and running down their faces.

"Rain in bloody Afghan." He muttered, shaking his head. "Well I never."

There was a brief moment of elation throughout the section as the relief flooded through them that they weren't about to been blown to pieces.

"Focus up." Their Captains sharp tone through their headsets had everyone silent and focused on the task in hand again in seconds. "Let's get moving again, just because it's thunder this time doesn't mean it won't be the taliban next time."

They were soaked to the skin by the time they reached the compound where they would wait for the vehicle to approach. The checkpoint was just starting to become visible as the sun began to rise over the mountains behind it.

"Fingers, Mansfield- you can take the first shift of guard duty. If you see anyone or anything that looks even slightly out of place I want to know about it. Understood?" Captain James barked.

"Yes Boss." The two lads sprung into action, weapons trained out of the windows, ready to protect them if needed.

"Dawes, I want you to set up a temporary med centre in the other room." He ordered. "The rest of you, get some rest for an hour or so while you've got the chance."

"Yes Sir." She answered, quietly relieved that she could escape into the other room and get away from him for a bit. She hadn't banked on him following her into the other room and pulling the rickety old door closed behind him.

She heaved her Bergen onto the worktop in the room, taking a deep breath and counting to three before turning to face him.

"Did you need something Sir?" She asked, her tone forced and polite. She leant back against the wall behind her, arms folded and waiting for him to say something as he looked at her hesitantly.

He took a couple of steps forwards, closing the gap between them until he was close enough that he could've reached out and touched her face.

"I need to know Dawes, before we go out there, just incase anything happens, that you're not going to disappear the second we get back to the UK?" He asked.

"I don't really see how that's anything to do with you." She snapped back, her tone hushed since she knew two section were more than likely pressed up against the door listening "I made myself clear, there isn't going to be some fairy tale ending for the two of us."

"That's not what I'm saying." He protested. "I'm not saying you have to leave Artan and that I want you to give me a chance, although if that's what you decided to do I wouldn't argue, I'm just saying don't be a stranger. I know you've made up your mind that you're leaving two section, and that's your decision to make. But you've made friends out here Molly, and I'd hope I can include myself among them, and I know for a fact that they'd all be devastated if you just disappeared the second we got back and they never saw you again." He looked at her pleadingly.

She bit her lip, trying to fight back the emotion that had risen up at his words. Why did he have to chose a moment like this to have this conversation?

"I wish things could've been different, I really do." She whispered, taking a half step forward until there was no space left between them at all. "I like to think that if things had worked out differently, if I hadn't got Artan and you weren't my Captain then maybe, whatever this is, could've worked out for us, maybe that fairytale might've happened after all." She looked up, meeting his eyes and trying to stop herself from throwing himself into his arms.

His hand moved, slowly and hesitantly to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing the smooth skin. "Ditto." He smiled, unable to put into words what he really wanted to say to her. "Promise you won't disappear? You've at least got to make it to the section night out, them lot will never forgive you if not- and as a matter of fact neither will I."

She smiled, moving her hand up so it rested over his own as it cupped her face. "Well, I couldn't possibly let you all down like that, could I?"

"That's what I like to hear Dawes." He beamed.

"Now." She smirked, pulling herself away from his hand with great difficulty. "You need to let me get on with this, my Captains a bit of an arse you see and I'll be in all kinds of trouble if I don't get this sorted."

"Copy that." He laughed, winking as he headed for the door. "You'd best get to work then Dawes!"

"Boss!" Mansfield shouted from the other room, just as Charles opened the door. "There's someone approaching on foot!"

"Hold that thought!" Charles muttered, disappearing out of the door with Molly close behind him.

"Identify yourself!" Mansfield shouted at the man who was approaching on foot. "Stop right there!"

There was a tense moment, where everyone seemed to hold their breath, before the man stopped and held up his hands. There was a brief exchange between him and Quaseem, before he established he was their ANA contact and he was let into the small compound.

The ANA soldier looked at them all nervously. "Manchester United." He said slowly, looking at them for some sort recognition.

Mansfields face broke into a grin. "Nah mate, they're shit!" He laughed, everyone else started laughing quietly, glad of the break in the tension.

Another half an hour or so of quiet chatter had passed before the call came that their target vehicle was on route to the checkpoint. The atmosphere suddenly turned deadly serious again as they all got in position ready.

"They've let it through boss!" Fingers cried in dismay, watching through the window as the ANA forces allowed the truck straight through the first barrier.

"Shit." She heard her Captain mutter under his breath, reaching for his radio.

"It's okay boss, they've stopped it at the second barrier." Fingers called back.

There was a collective sigh of relief from all of them.

"Right then, let's get moving." Captain James nodded. "Everyone know what they've got to do?"

"Yes boss." Everyone echoed, following each other out of the door and heading for the bridge.

The walk up to the bridge passed in a blur, then all of a sudden she was stood on the bridge, looking at the frightened faces of the passengers on board the truck.

"Do you see him?" Captain James asked, his voice low and quiet in her ear.

She scanned the faces looking back at her once more. "No, but something don't feel right boss." She murmured in response.

"I'll talk to the ANA guys, see what they want to do Dawes." He said after a moment's hesitation. She nodded in response, watching for a second as he turned and walked back to the middle of the bridge where one of the ANA Captains was standing.

She turned back to the people in the truck for one last look, and that was when she saw it. The person on the right hand side, closest to the back of the truck slipping a gun out from under their clothes. She locked eyes for a second, and then she knew it was him.

"Boss, it's him-" She shouted, reaching for her gun. She was too slow, the crack of the gunshot echoing around the mountains. It was as though she was in slow motion, watching herself as she fell to the floor, the searing pain in her shoulder confirming that he'd definitely shot her.

There was another bang, and another stabbing pain, in her stomach this time. She struggled to get her brain to connect with her limbs to move herself to safety but all of her strength had left her.

She could hear more gunfire now, two section returning shots of their own to take out the man who'd just shot her. She watched, powerless to do anything else, as Badrai fell to the floor a few meters from where she was lying and blood began to pool around him.

"Dawes, Dawes. Stay with me!" She tore her eyes away, looking up to see Smurf and Captain James on either side of her. "Kinders, I need a medivac now!"

"You need to put pressure on the wound." She gasped, crying out in pain as Smurf did as she'd instructed, pressing his hands hard into her stomach to try and stop the blood flow . Her brain was fuzzy, there was something she needed to tell them, but she couldn't remember what it was. Or even where she was for a fact. All she knew was she was really, really tired and everything hurt.

"No, stay awake Dawes, listen to me." Captain James shouted in her ear, pulling her eyes open with one hand, the other was pressed into her shoulder and covered in her blood as he made a futile attempt to stem the blood flow. "Wake up Molly!"

"Mmmm…. Sorry…. sleepy." She mumbled, her eyes drooping closed again. What was it with him, why could he never just leave her in peace? All she wanted to do was sleep.

"Come on Dawes." He pleaded, screaming into his radio for an update on the medivac. "You promised you'd make it to the section night out, you can't go back on that."

He didn't get an answer, she'd slipped in to unconsciousness, there was nothing he could do other than try and stem the flow of blood and pray that the helicopter would be there before it was too late.


	29. Chapter 29

"Molly, Molly can you hear me?" There was a loud and irritating voice in her ear that she just couldn't quite place. She blinked trying to open her eyes but it was like someone had glued them together. She tried to get some air in her lungs to answer them, in the hope that maybe they'd leave her in peace if she did, but she didn't seem to be able to catch her breath. The searing pain that was ripping through her stomach made her want to scream, but she couldn't get any words out.

She was trying to focus her mind, to work out what on earth was happening. Where was she? Who were all these people? The last thing that she could remember she'd been standing in the compound talking to Charles, waiting to intercept Badrai….

Shit.

It clicked in her brain, the involuntary gasp causing her to cry out in pain.

"Molly, where does it hurt?" The voice was in her ear again and she could feel hands all over her. She felt vulnerable and exposed, lying there unable to move with all these strangers around her. She didn't even know if she was still in Afghanistan or in the U.K.

She struggled again to peel her eyes open, succeeding this time and being met with blinding lights and a friendly looking face.

"Molly, my names Rhian I'm a doctor, you're in the hospital at Bastion. Can you remember what happened?" The pretty young blonde girl smiled down at her.

The only thing that came into her head was that Artan would probably screw the doctor given even half a chance.

"Molly?" The doctor prompted.

"We were at the checkpoint." She struggled.

"Good." The doctor nodded, leaning over her and smiling reassuringly. "Can you tell me where it hurts?"

"Everything." She mumbled in reply, trying to get her eyes to focus. Her head was fuzzy and she was so, so sleepy.

"Stay awake for me Molly." Rhian prompted, shaking her gently as her eyes slipped shut. "Molly?"

…..

He didn't think he'd ever run as fast as he had when they had finally got back to Bastion. The atmosphere had been tense the whole way back, not even smurf had said a word. Everyone had been left reeling from what had happened on the bridge.

Charles had found himself struggling to sit still as they crawled back through the Afghan desert, making agonisingly slow progress on their journey back to Bastion. The grim expression of the medics who had airlifted Molly out had made his stomach churn. He couldn't even begin to think about what would happen if Molly didn't come through this. He'd never forgive himself.

He'd run across the base, running through the long corridor of the hospital in desperate search of Molly. He was vaguely aware of the fact he was still covered in her blood and Smurf was following after him, struggling to keep up, but none of it mattered. All he was concerned with was seeing with his own eyes that Molly was still alive.

There'd been a horrifying moment, just after the sound of the gunshot had echoed off the mountains around them, where everything seemed to stand in slow motion as Molly had crumpled to the ground and everyone had reached for their weapons. It felt much the same as he ran through the hospital, trying to find someone who could tell him where she was.

He came to a stop in the middle of the hallway as he saw her being wheeled through on a trolley. She was wrapped in a foil blanket, an oxygen mask over her face and blood everywhere.

"Molly?" He rushed forward, following them through into the small room. "I'm her Captain-How is she?" He asked quickly as one of the doctors turned to look at him.

The woman looked him up and down for a second then stepped away from the bed and walked towards him, folding her arms across her chest. "I'll be straight with you Captain, things aren't looking that great. We're waiting on some scan results now, but they had to resuscitate her twice in the helicopter on the way back here and she keeps dropping in and out of consciousness now. I'll know more once I've seen the scans."

"Thank you." He mumbled, his eyes fixed on Molly as the doctor left the room quietly. Smurf had the sense to wait outside, which he was glad of as his eyes started to fill with tears. He stood beside her bed, clutching her blood stained hand in his own. "I'm so sorry, Molly." He whispered. He should've been there to protect her, he'd walked away and left her standing there, vulnerable and exposed.

"Charles?" She croaked, her eyes opening just enough to make out his figure hunched over beside her.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I promise." He said softly, squeezing her hand. "You get some rest okay?"

"Mmmm… 'Kay." She mumbled in response as he struggled to work out what she was saying. She tightened her fingers around his for a few seconds, then they released their grip as she fell asleep again.

He stared for a few seconds, watching her chest rise and fall and listening to the rhythmic bleep of the monitors that reassured him she was still alive. He squeezed her hand again, reluctant to let her go. He wasn't even allowing himself to think about the fact that in a matter of days- or even hours- she'd be back in the UK, and he still had the rest of his tour to finish.

He dropped her hand at a knock on the door, turning to find Smurf standing in the doorway with a sympathetic smile on his face. "Sorry boss, Major Beck has been on the phone. He needs you ASAP."

Charles turned and cast one more look back at Molly. "I'll be back soon." He said quietly, squeezing her hand again just in case she was awake and could hear him, before reluctantly following Smurf out of the door.

….

She blinked her eyes open, closing them again in an attempt to shut out the blinding light. She felt groggy and her whole body ached like she'd suffered through one of Captain James' PT sessions when he was in a bad mood.

Hesitantly she opened one eye again, peering at the room she was in. Where even was she? She'd got some vague and very hazy memories of the hospital at Bastion and that was it.

"You're awake." A voice came from beside her.

"Charles?" She mumbled, still not really awake.

"I fucking knew you were sleeping with him." Came the response from beside her through gritted teeth.

She opened her other eye slowly, praying that this was some kind of hallucination from the drugs and she was actually still in Afghan. Unfortunately for her, she was definitely at home, and Artan was sitting by her beside, looking very very angry.


	30. Chapter 30

"Oh, Molly you're awake. Thank God." The sound of her Mum's voice confused her as she struggled to open her eyes again. She was sure Artan had been sitting there a few seconds ago. She looked around the room, expecting to see him standing there somewhere- he was never far away- but he was nowhere to be seen,

"What are you doing here Mum?" She asked, struggling to sit herself up. She gasped as the pain ripped through her. Moving was obviously going to be out of the question, at the least for the time being.

"Oh we've been so worried about you Mol!" Her Mum looked close to tears. "You've still got us listed as your emergency contact. Scared the shit out of your father when they turned up on the doorstep."

"Sorry Mum." She mumbled, tentatively reaching out to take her Mum's hand, which thankfully didn't cause too much pain. "I didn't really think to change it. Sorry"

"You don't have to apologise Mol. I'm just glad that you're okay, we all are. What happened?" Her Mum leaned forward in the chair, reaching out to smooth the hair back from her forehead.

"We were at a checkpoint, stopped a truck and then someone just started shooting out of nowhere. I was just unlucky Mum." She glossed over the truth. She could still vividly remember the argument she'd had with her parents when she'd first joined the army, they'd been convinced she was going to get hurt, and she didn't want to have to listen to the 'I told you so' lecture.

"Oh Molly." Her Mum wiped a tear from her cheek. "When we got here and they told us you'd been shot twice I honestly thought we'd lost you."

"I'm still here Mum, don't worry." She shrugged the comment off. She wasn't going to tell her Mum that there'd been a point where she was laying on the bridge and she could feel the blood seeping through her uniform where she'd been sure she wasn't going to make it back Bastion, never mind back to England. "Where's Artan?" She asked, almost reluctantly.

"Oh, he's just gone to have a shower and change his clothes. You're so lucky to have him Molly, he's not left your bedside once, he just sits here watching over you. He was so upset when I rang him and told him what had happened." Belinda smiled. "He's one of the good ones Mol."

She nodded, forcing a smile. What was she supposed to say to that? Her parents had been charmed by Artan right from the beginning, they'd never seen anything but the young kid who'd bought her flowers and walked her to work. They wouldn't believe the truth about him, even if she told them.

"Still, at least now you can put all that army stuff behind you and settle down properly. Finally get married and start a family." Apparently Belinda had been talking to her for the last few minutes while she'd been in her own little world.

"Who said anything about giving up on the army?" She frowned, struggling to twist in her bed so she could look at her mum more easily.

Belinda frowned back at her. "Artan said you'd decided before you left for this tour it was going to be your last one. That you were going to get yourself a nice proper job and be a normal family. Surely after all this you're not seriously thinking about going back there? You got shot Molly!"

"It's a warzone Mum, people get shot all the time. I knew it could happen when I went out there, just like I did the other two times! It's my job, it's what I trained for and I love it. Why on earth would I want to give that up to sit at home with Artan every night?" She snapped back. She couldn't really tell her Mum that the only thing that kept her sane was going away on tour and getting away from Artan for six months at a time, she'd never understand because as far as Belinda was concerned the sun shone out of blood Artan's arse.

"I just think you should think about Molly, Artan's right. You were lucky this time, they managed to get you back here in once piece. Next time you might not be so lucky. Besides, it's really not fair on poor Artan- you disappearing off for months on end and him sitting there wondering if you're actually going to come back or if someone's going to call him and tell him that you're dead." Belinda was getting wound up by this point, she'd never been able to understand why her daughter had this urge to go and put herself in harm's way. If she wanted to do something medical why couldn't she just go and be a nurse or something like normal people?

"Can you just go now Mum?" She snapped. She saw the look of hurt on her Mum's face, and tried again a little more softly. "Thank's for coming and everything, sorry if I scared you. It's just I'm really tired and I want to get some rest."

Her Mum said where she was for a moment, her frown deepening. She looked exhausted, and Molly suddenly realised she probably hadn't slept at all since she'd got the news. She didn't even know what day it was. It could've been hours or weeks since she'd been on the bridge with Charles. She hadn't got a clue.

"Okay." Belinda said, reluctantly, as she picked up her bag and jacket and stood up from the chair. "You get some rest. Artan will be back in an hour or two I'm sure. I'll come back tomorrow with Dad okay? You take care love." She leaned over the bed and placed a kiss on her cheek, Molly suddenly felt tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Thanks Mum, I love you, send my love to Dad and the other little bleeders." She smiled, praying she'd hold it together until her Mum got out of the room, or she'd never get her to leave.

"I will." She smiled back from the doorway. "You look after yourself Mol. See you tomorrow." The door closed softly behind her, and then she was gone, leaving Molly lying alone in the small hospital room, squinting at the lights that were just a little too bright.

She was exhausted, she felt like she wanted to sleep, but at the same time she knew there was no way her brain was going to switch off enough to let that happen. She could feel the pit of anxiety in her stomach at the thought of Artan coming back. She'd got some hazy memories of him being three- she couldn't remember if it had been that morning or maybe the night before- but she could just remember him giving her that look, the one that meant he was angry with her. She wondered what she could possible have done to upset him while she was unconscious.

There was a knock at the door that made her heart leap for a second, then she remembered that there was no way Artan would've knocked.

"Come in." She called, her throat hoarse. There was a brief moment of hope, just before the door opened where she thought maybe it was going to be Captain James on the other side of the door, she had to remind herself not to look disappointed when the door opened and a nurse walked in.

"Hi Molly, my name's Claire I'm your nurse for today. How are you feeling?" The woman stood beside her bed, smiling at her kindly.

"I'm okay, I'm a bit groggy. What day is it?" She asked.

"Wednesday." Claire answered softly. "You've been here three days, you've woken up a couple of times but this is the first time you've really been with it. Are you in any pain?"

"Only if I move." She answered.

"That's to be expected when you've been shot I'm afraid." She smiled. "I've got a call for you on the phone if you're feeling up to talking?"

"Do you know who it is?" Molly asked, her stomach twisting with anxiety again.

"I think he said his name was Captain James? Do you want me to bring you the phone?"

"Yes, please." Molly smiled, and this time it was more genuine.

"I'll be two seconds." Claire smiled, disappearing out of the door and then reappearing again with a phone in her hand. "I'll pass you over to her now Sir." She said into the phone, before handing it over to Molly.

"Hello?" There was a long pause after she spoke that made her wonder if he'd lost the connection.

"Lance Corporal Dawes, how are you feeling?" She could hear the relief in his voice as he spoke, even though the connection wasn't the best.

"Well, like I've been shot a couple of times if I'm honest with you." She smiled.

"Its funny that." She could hear the smile in his voice, picturing it in her head she realised how much she missed him already. "You gave us quite the scare Molly." He was serious again.

"Would you believe me if I told you I didn't intentionally go out there and get shot just to keep you on your toes?" She joked.

"I don't know Dawes, you have always had a flair for the dramatics." He joked. "And somehow even when you were lying there bleeding half to death you were still barking orders at me."

"Well, not sure how much attention you paid to your first aid training Sir. Was just making sure you weren't gonna let me bleed out." She joked.

"I thought we'd lost you Molly, I really did." He was deadly serious again, she was struggling to keep up. "We were just stuck there on the bridge, me and Smurf trying to stop you bleeding out and that helicopter seemed to take a lifetime to turn up. When I got back to the hospital at Bastion, I was convinced they were going to tell me they'd lost you. I don't think I'd ever have forgiven myself."

"You'll have to do better than the Taliban if you're trying to get rid of me." She joked, trying to lighten the mood. "How's the rest of two section doing? Was anyone else injured?"

"They're all fine, a few scrapes and bruises here and there but they'll all live." She could hear the smile in his voice again. "They're driving me mad though without you here to keep them in line."

She snorted with laughter, trying to ignore the pain it caused in her stomach. "Sir, there's nothing that could ever keep them lot in line, you should probably just cut your losses."

"True." He smiled. "I think they're just excited, we're almost done. We're headed for decompression and then home. They're keen to get back so they can visit their beloved medic."

"Oh yeah, who's she then?" She smiled.

"Well, we had to get someone in to replace you, turns out she's a lot less of a pain in the ass than you." He joked.

"Bloody charming!" She laughed.

"Seriously though, they've all been really worried about you. So have I." He said softly.

"I'm fine, really. If you come and visit me when you get back then you can see with your own eyes that I'm totally fine." She smiled at the thought of seeing him again. How was it possible to miss him so much already?

"I'll be there Dawes, don't you worry." He smiled. "I've missed you."

"Ditto." She smiled, glancing up as the door to her room opened again. Artan was standing there glaring at her, and if looks could kill then he probably would've finished her off. "Listen, I've got to go. Thanks for calling though." She hung up before he could say anything, dropping the phone on the table beside the bed.

"Who was that?" Artan asked, walking around the bed in the direction of the chair her Mum had left a few minutes ago.

"Just my mum." She smiled. "You look exhausted, you should've stayed at home and got some sleep. I'm not exactly going anywhere." She attempted to change the subject.

"Don't lie to me." He snapped, picking up the phone and launching it against the wall. It fell to the floor and shattered into several pieces. "I've just been talking to your Mum in the coffee shop. It was him wasn't it? Don't lie to me!"

"It's not what you think Artan, he's my Captain! He just wanted to check I was okay!" She tried to justify it to him, even though she knew nothing she said was going to make the slightest bit of difference.

"Of course that's what it is, one way or another Molly, you've always been a filthy little whore." He spat at her, turning round and storming off again, the whole room seeming to shake as he slammed the door closed behind him.

A few seconds later Claire appeared in the doorway, looking a little shocked. Her eyes came to rest on the broken phone on the floor, she bent down to scoop up the pieces, before she walked over and stood beside the bed.

"Is everything okay Molly?" She asked, frowning. "Because if there's something that you want to talk about then I'm more than happy to listen."

"It's fine, really." Molly forced a smile. "He's just a bit upset, that's all. It's been a stressful few days."

Claire hesitated for a moment, as though she was going to say something else. "If you change your mind then let me know, okay?"

"I will, thank you." Molly answered softly, watching as the nurse quietly left the room clutching the various pieces of the broken phone. She briefly wondered where Artan had stormed off too, then realised that she really didn't care- as long as he didn't come back again.


	31. Chapter 31

"Hi." It has to be a dream, she can't think why he would possibly be there, standing over her head smirking at her in the way he is. But she can feel him, there for real- the warmth of his hand on her arm as real as the bullets that shot her.

"Hi." She mumbled back in confusion, trying to pull herself together. She was still confused and tired, weeks in a hospital bed without doing anything or seeing sunlight had that effect. "What are you doing here?" There was a nagging sensation her stomach that something was wrong, that he shouldn't be there but she couldn't put her finger on what.

"Visiting my favourite medic." He beamed down at her, and god she'd missed that smile. "I thought you might at least be half pleased to see me."

Oh she was, she'd missed him so much more than she could she ever have imagined. She was embarrassed to think about the amount of times she replayed the conversation they'd had in the compound by the bridge, imagining what might've happened after if she hadn't got herself shot. And there he was, standing in front of her in his combats with his hair all out of place and that little bit of afghan grime still lingering, wanting to see her.

"I am." She smiled, struggling to adjust herself in the bed a bit so she could sit up and talk to him a bit better. "Surprised, that's all. When did you get back?"

"About two hours ago." He smiled. "I came straight here, my bloody mother is downstairs in the coffee shop because I couldn't get rid of her, especially not once I'd told her it was you I was visiting."

"Well, I'm honoured." She smiled. "How are the rest of the lads?"

"They're all fine." He nodded, settling himself into the small plastic chair where Artan usually sat watch. "Worried about you of course, but glad to be back home again I think."

"They don't need to be worrying about me." She scoffed. "Hard as nails me."

He laughed for a second and then went deadly serious. "The last time any of us saw you Molly, you were unconscious on the bridge, your blood pissing out from everywhere no matter how hard we tried and Kinders trying to resuscitate you. I haven't really been able to get any updates for them while we were on decompression so they've been worrying out of their minds they were going to come home to a funeral invitation to be brutally honest."

"Was it that bad?" She asked, her voice small. This was the first time anyone had been able to give her any real information about what had happened to her on that bridge, he'd been there with her and seen it through his own eyes.

He glanced down at his hands, which for days had felt like they were still covered in her blood no matter how many times he watched them. "We were all sure we'd lost you Molly. When the medivac came, they looked so grim I just thought this is it, this is the end, and I would never have been able to forgive myself for leaving you standing there in front of that bloody truck on your own…" he trailed off, shaking his head. The regrets about that had been keeping him up for weeks.

"You couldn't have done anything differently." She told him softly, placing her hand over his that was still resting on her arm. "He was going to shoot me all along, he was out for revenge, thought i was the one who took his little girl away from him. Things could've been so much worse if we'd all been standing there, we could've all been killed."

He was silent for a moment, looking back up at her. He looked exhausted, she could see from the bags under his eyes he hadn't been sleeping properly. God she hoped he wasn't keeping himself up at night over what might've been.

"Have you had many visitors?" He asked. "You must be getting a bit stir crazy by now!" A change of subject was probably for the best for both of them.

"It's doing my nut in." She sighed. "My Mum and Dad have been around a lot, my nan came and they even brought the kids one time. And Artans been here too." The second part she added quietly, for some reason the thought of telling him that Artan had been sitting by her bedside all this time made her stomach flip.

His face fell visibly and he moved his hand off her arm and out from under hers. "So you went back to him then?" He sounded resigned and fed up.

She shrugged. "Well to be honest I didn't get a lot of choice, did I? He was sat by the bed twenty four seven, speaking of which he'll be back soon, you should probably go." She didn't want him to go, she wanted to take back whatever it was that had made his face fall, she wanted to laugh and joke with him and things to be like they were in Afghan.

"Or maybe he should leave." Charles muttered sarcastically. "So what's your great plan here then Molly? You're going to go home with him after all this and just play happy families? Just hope that he never does it again?" His voice was scathing.

"I don't know." She mumbled, she felt all flustered under the furious glare he was giving her.

"Well." He said, standing up, causing the chair to scrape back wards across the floor noisily. "Maybe you'd better start figuring it out, because maybe next time there won't be someone there to catch you."

"Charles, wait, please." She protested, struggling to try and get herself out of bed as he flew across the room towards the door.

"Good bye Molly." He paused in the doorway for a moment, his lips twisting into a forced kind of smile. "I really hope things work out the way you want them to, and if you change your mind, then you know where to find me."

He was gone before she'd even managed to get one leg out of the bed which was starting to feel like a prison cell. He was long gone, and she knew there was no point in trying to follow him, besides she wasn't even sure she'd manage to get the other leg out never mind actually stand up. She wanted to run down the corridor after him, run into his arms and have some sort of happily ever after, she really did. But things weren't that simple, she just wished that he could understand that.


	32. Chapter 32

"How is she?" His Mum asked as he flopped down into the chair opposite her in the hospital coffee shop.

"She's good, she's fine." He shrugged. He really didn't want to have this conversation with his mother.

"So why have you got a face like a slapped arse then?" She asked, straight to the point as always.

"I haven't!" He argued, watching as she drained the last of her coffee, raising an eyebrow at him as she placed the cup back down.

"I've always known when you're sulking Charles, I've had years of experience with it. Now why don't you spit it out and tell me what's wrong?" She smiled.

"I thought, when we were out in Afghan that she'd made her mind up that she was going to leave him, and then it turns out what while I've been stuck finishing my tour, he's been sat by her bedside and now she's going to be going home with him." He sighed. "I just thought maybe we had a chance to be happy."

His Mum sat quietly for a moment, watching him. "I thought you knew better than to think some sort of fairy tale was going to happen. She's been through alot Charles, just what she's been through on this tour alone would be enough to mess most people up completely, never mind the rest of it. She's probably frightened Charles, I mean can you blame her?"

"I just can't believe she'd even think about going back to him after everything he's done. He's just going to hurt her again." He protested. He was fighting the urge to go back up there and try and shake some sense into her. God she was infuriating.

"It's her decision to make Charles, you just have to be her friend and be there to support her no matter what she decides to do." His Mum reasoned. She could see how much it was hurting him, the thought of letting Molly go back to Artan, but no matter what she said, he was never going to see that there was nothing he could do. Until Molly had made that decision herself, she was never going to walk away.

"I don't think I can do that, I can't just stand by and wait for her to get hurt again." He sighed.

….

"Come on, we're leaving." Artan snapped, standing by the end of the bed later that afternoon.

"What?" She mumbled, looking up at him in confusion.

"You heard me. We're going home." He snapped back, picking up her things and shoving them into the bag that was sitting on the chair.

"I've not been discharged." She protested. "I got shot Artan, I can't just get up and walk out. It takes time!"

"I think what you're trying to say is you want to stay here so your boyfriend can come back and visit again." His voice was icy.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She tried to keep herself calm, stop the panic she was feeling leaking onto her face.

He laughed quietly. "Yeah, of course you don't. I saw him Molly, sat right there on that chair, his hand on your arm. Did you think you'd sneak him in while I wasn't here?"

"He's my Captain, he just came to make sure I'm okay." She argued.

"Yeah, I'm sure he did." Artan rolled his eyes. "How stupid do you think I am? Come on, you're going to discharge yourself and then we're going home to sort this out."

"I'm not going Artan, I've not been discharged." She argued. The idea of having to get out of bed and go home made her feel a bit sick.

"Let me set you straight, I'm going to go outside and get a nurse, you're going to discharge yourself and come home with me. Then we're going to look for somewhere else to live, and get out of here before you try and pull anything else. Don't even think about trying to screw this up for me Molly, you won't like the consequences." He threw her bag back down on the chair and walked out of the door.

She was speechless for a second, trying to recover herself as her nurse Claire walked into the room.

"What's this I'm being told about you discharging yourself?" She asked, frowning. "Is this because you want to, or because that's what he wants?" She glanced over her shoulder at Artan who was glaring at them both through the window.

Molly looked over her shoulder at Artan. Was there really anything he could do to her if she just refused to leave with him? She was in the hospital, there were witnesses and people would see if he tried anything. He wasn't stupid enough to get himself in trouble. She realised, there was more danger that Charles would come back to visit again and Artan would do something to him.

"It's what I want." She said slowly. "I'm feeling a lot better, I just want to be at home with my family."

Claire glanced over her shoulder again. "If he's threatened you Molly, we can help you. You don't have to go because of him."

"This is what I want, please." She pleaded. This was difficult enough already without having to go through all this. "Just get me out of here, please."

"Okay." Claire said slowly. "I'll go get the doctor and we'll see what he says."

As soon as she left the room Artan reappeared beside the bed. He threw her bag on the floor, sitting down heavily on the chair next to her.

"Don't think this is the end of this. You don't get to screw around behind my back for six months while you're supposed to be working and get away with it. You're going to pay for this Molly Dawes." His voice was quiet, but there was an icy edge to his voice that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Artan Please."

"I'm done with your pathetic excuses Molly." He spat back. "Maybe you should've run off with him when you had the chance, because he sure as hell ain't going to come and save your ass now is he?" Artan snarled at her.


	33. Chapter 33

I'd had been three weeks since Artan had dragged her out of the hospital, pulling her through the corridor as she fought back the tears of pain. Three weeks of misery, arguing and what she would probably best describe as hell.

It had been three weeks of torturous isolation, she had any contact with anyone other than Artan- other than the brief trip to have her stitches taken out- he'd had her trapped in the house like a prisoner. And she was, she was his prisoner, trapped there and waiting for him to decide on what punishment he saw fit, for a crime she hadn't committed.

She could see from the way he was looking at her, watching her every time she moved, that the little bit of love that had been left between them was gone. He was now regarding her with a look of absolute hatred, like she was something he'd scraped off the bottom of his shoe.

He was sober too, she hadn't seen him touch a drop since she'd been back- and it showed. The accuracy of the things he'd thrown at her was vastly improved. It made everything so much more cold and calculated, it was as though she could see him sitting there and thinking of new ways to punish her.

She kept waiting for Charles to turn up. She knew that he could hear them through the paper thin walls, history had proven that, and the rows they'd been having since she'd been home hadn't been any less dramatic than the ones before she'd been deployed. She'd seen his car, and watched his mum come and go a few times, so he was there. She just had to accept that he didn't actually care anymore.

Could she blame him? How many times had she pushed him away? Every time he'd almost got close enough for her to let him in she'd put up another wall and pushed him back again. Why on earth would he want to stick around for that? He was better off without her anyway.

She watched with interest as a taxi pulled up outside his house, the lads from two section piling out noisily with packs of beer in their hands. She heard the roar of their cheer as he answered the door and a pang of sadness ripped through her.

The section night out, the one she'd promised that she wouldn't stand them up on. She should've been in there, celebrating and having fun with her friends. She should've been in there with him, enjoying herself, not being held captive in her own home.

"I'm going out." Artan muttered, appearing in the doorway pulling on his jacket. "I won't be long so don't go getting any ideas."

She had to remind herself to keep her face in check, not to show her surprise. She nodded silently, but inside her mind was reeling. This was the first time he'd left her since she'd been home. Was this her chance?

Where could she go? Could she really just get up and leave? She'd got no money, and nowhere to go. She couldn't go to her parents, she'd found that out last time. Nowhere was safe, even if she did manage to get out of there. There was every chance that this was just a trick and if she got up and walked out of the front door he'd be out there waiting for her, ready to punish her for what he considered to be the latest in a long series of offences.

She picked herself up off the sofa and tiptoed across to the door, pulling it open nervously. She was waiting, bracing herself as she prepared for the stream of abuse and the blow that was surely going to come. But he wasn't there, he wasn't waiting on the other side of the door to catch her out.

She pulled the door open wider, the feeling of fresh air on her face was heavenly. She looked a mess, she was well aware of the fact she'd had the same pyjamas on for a week and probably hadn't brushed her hair in a week either. But she didn't care, not even if two section or Charles saw her. The feeling of fresh air on her face, the feeling of freedom as she stood there knowing that she could walk away- even though she knew she didn't have the courage to do it- was freeing.

"Dawesey!" Mansfield all but fell out of Charles' front door, cigarette in hand as he fumbled with the lighter. He'd obviously had more than a skinful, she smirked as he almost fell head first over the little wall that separated them. "Come in and join us! We all miss you so much! Oi! Lads! Guess who's out here!" He turned and yelled back into the house.

"Shhh! Keep it down mate." She scolded, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. God she'd missed them, even if they were a bunch of complete and utter cockwombles the majority of the time.

Smurf and Fingers appeared in the doorway behind him, both looking just as pissed as Mansfield. "Come on Mols!" Smurf called, holding a hand out in her direction. "The boss mans buying, gotta take advantage!"

"I didn't say I was buying anything!" She heard his voice shout back from somewhere inside the house. It made her stomach flip, how could she tell him how much she'd missed him?

"Yeah come on Mol." Mansfield pleaded. "It's not a section night out if you're not there, you promised you wouldn't miss it!"

"She's not well, she needs to rest." She hadn't noticed Artan at the end of the path. He walked towards where she was standing, putting an arm around her waist in a way that looked affectionate, but actually just allowed him to dig his fingers into the scar that was still healing. She struggled not to gasp in pain.

"I've got to go. Have a good night though boys, you've earned it." She smiled softly, turning and walking back to the front door as Artan shoved her roughly along. She was in trouble for this, that was for sure.

"What the fuck." He snarled, slamming the door shut so hard the whole house seemed to shake around it. He had her backed up against the wall that separated her house from Charles', an arm either side of her to stop her from moving.

"I was just talking to them." She mumbled, her excuse sounding weak and pathetic even to her own ears. It might've been the truth, but that didn't count for much with him.

"Telling them all about me? Or maybe you were telling them how you've been screwing around with your boss while you were supposed to be working." He spat, slapping her roughly across the face. She could taste the blood in her mouth straight away.

What was she supposed to say to him? There was nothing left to say, she'd given up reasoning with him a very long time ago. She just resigned herself to her fate, eventually he'd decide he'd had enough of tormenting her for one night and move on to something else. She'd just have to wait out until then.

…..

An uncomfortable silence had descended over his living room. The lads from two section were sprawled all over the sofas, beers in hand although none of them were drinking them. They were all too busy listening to the screaming and shouting coming from next door.

"You didn't tell us Dawesey was your neighbour boss." Mansfield spoke eventually, all eyes turning curiously to Charles.

"I didn't really realise, not for a while." Charles tried to shrug it off. "I'm surprised she didn't mention it to you lot." He cringed at the sound of something hitting the wall hard.

There was another moment of awkward silence. "That fella of hers, he don't seem quite right." Mansfield said slowly. "Do you think maybe we ought to see what's going on round there? Sounds like he's killin' her."

What he didn't realise, and it made Charles' stomach flip again, was that he might be right. What was he supposed to say to them? It wasn't his place to be telling them Mollys life story, but they'd all figured it out for themselves by that point anyway.

"Boss, have you got a second?" Smurf stood up, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

Charles nodded in agreement, standing up and walking into the kitchen, closing the door behind them.

Smurf spoke again before he had a chance to ask him what was wrong. "I'm worried about Molly boss. I know that whatever's going on there might not be quite what it sounds like, but I know from what she said to me when we were on tour that it wouldn't exactly be the first time he'd knocked her around a bit if you get what I mean boss. I should've done something, stopped her going back to him or something, but I just didn't know what to say and then she got shot and it was too late…" he looked distraught.

"It's not your fault, I knew too, I just didn't know what to do. She wasn't exactly willing to accept help, I don't think anything you said would've changed her mind once she'd made up her mind." He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want to go round there and make things worse."

"We can't just sit here and listen to this, it's Dawes, we owe her one." Smurf looked at him pleadingly.

Charles paced back and forth across the kitchen, listening to the screaming coming from the other side of the wall. If anything had happened to her and they'd just sat back and let it then he'd never forgive himself, but he was equally afraid that they'd go round there and she'd tell him once and for all that she didn't want or need his help.

"Get your coat smurf." He said, his expression grim. "Tell the rest of them to wait here for now, we'll shout if we need them."

"Yes boss." Smurf nodded, suddenly all business. There was nothing like a friend being in danger to sober him up. He owed it to Molly to do this, they all did.


	34. Chapter 34

The rest of two section had bundled out of the house behind Charles and Smurf without any questions. They'd all spent the evening listening to the noises coming from the other side of the wall and wanting desperately to intervene, even if it hadn't been Molly in there they wouldn't have been able to sit back and let it happen- but knowing it was one of their own on the other side of the wall made it even harder.

"Just be careful for God's sake, I don't want any of you getting arrested." Charles muttered, knowing there was no arguing with them. In a way he was relieved that they were going to go in there mob handed like this, he didn't necessarily fancy his chances of fighting Artan off single handedly, even after years of training.

He vaulted over the small wall that separated his front garden from Molly's, still not really thinking about what was going to happen next. It was like his body was moving and his brain had yet to engage. As he stood in front of the door, wondering if he should knock or just barge straight in.

The scream that came from the other side of the door made up his mind for him. He hadn't heard a scream that anguished in all of his years in the army, even when she'd been laying on the bridge bleeding to death she hadn't made a sound like that. He could hear her on the other side of the door, pleading for her life and he didn't even want to imagine what was going on.

He crashed through the front door rather inelegantly, the adrenaline meaning he didn't feel the shooting pain where his shoulder had connected with the wood straight away. When he did, he realised he was getting far too old for all this running around trying to save people.

"Molly!" He ran forwards, reaching the entrance to the kitchen where Molly was standing hunched over in the doorway, clinging on to the door frame for her life. "Are you hurt?" He asked, putting one arm around her to hold her up.

"I… I don't know?" She mumbled, trying to get her bearings. Where had he come from? Where was Artan? "I don't think so."

"Come and sit down for a moment." He gently pulled her round to one of the chairs that was by the kitchen table. As she sat down he silently picked up the shattered remains of another one of the chairs which had presumably been broken in the struggle. He didn't even want to think about it.

"Where is he?" She asked, suddenly looking around her. "How did you get in here?"

"Smurf and the other's are here too, I think they've got him in the other room. I'll go and look, hang on." He'd been wondering exactly the same thing.

He ducked out of the kitchen, sticking his head into the living room where Artan was on the floor, with most of two section sitting on him to keep him there from the looks of things. His eyes were drawn to the kitchen knife that was laying on the floor, not far out of Artan's reach.

"Is everyone okay?" He asked, looking at the faces of his section. He could hear sirens in the distance, clearly someone- probably Kinders- had the sense to call the police.

"Yes Boss. How's Molly?" Smurf answered, looking up from where he was laying across Artan's legs to keep him still.

"She's okay." He nodded. "Are the police on the way?"

"Yeah, I called them. Should be here any minute." Kinders nodded.

"Thanks Kinders." Charles nodded. "I'm going to wait in the kitchen with Molly, shout if you need me okay?" They all nodded in agreement and he turned and went back through into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Molly mumbled as he crouched down on the floor in front of her. "I've ruined your night out, this is all my fault." The tears were flowing down her face, merging with the blood that was flowing from her nose.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue, passing it to her so she could wipe the blood. "It's okay, you really don't need to apologise. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I don't know." She moved her arms and legs, stretching her neck trying to see if anything hurt. She was sore, but she was alive, and that on it's own seemed to be a miracle all things considered. "I think I might actually be okay. I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologising." He smiled softly, looking up at her. She was going to be bruised in the morning, there was no doubt about that, but all things considered she was lucky. "The police are on the way Molly."

He heard her sharp intake of breath. "I can't, please Charles. I can't, don't make me do this." She pleaded. God she was going to be sick.

"Deep breath." He prompted, reaching for her hand but she snatched it away from him. "You can't let him get away with this Molly, he would've killed you if we hadn't been there."

"I can't do this, please don't make me." She whispered. He was right, she wasn't about to tell him that any time soon, but it was the truth. She'd been standing there in the kitchen, watching as Artan paced up and down in front of her, that knife glistening in his hand where she'd been convinced she was about to die.

"Molly, you can't let him get away with this." He pleaded. "If you keep letting him do it, he's going to end up killing you. He needs to be punished for what he's done."

There was a noise from the doorway, and he could hear Kinders talking to what he assumed was the Police. It looked like she might be too late to change her mind now anyway. He was relieved if he was honest, there wasn't much that he wanted more than to see Artan get his punishment for what he'd done.

"Hi, is it okay if I come in?" There was a voice from the doorway and Charles stood up and found a policeman standing in the doorway with Smurf lurking just behind him.

"Of course, come in." He nodded, stepping to one side to let the police officer through.

"Thankyou." The officer nodded, smiling politely. "You must be Molly? Is that right."

She nodded, her mouth had gone so dry she didn't think she could speak.

"Can we have a chat about what's happened here tonight?" The officer asked, pulling out the chair beside her. "It looks like we'll need to get you up to the hospital to get checked out too, are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I'm fine, really. It's all just a big misunderstanding." The words tumbled out without her even thinking about it, why after all this was she still trying to protect him? She didn't know the answer to that.

"I'll give you some space." Charles shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. He felt like he was intruding, listening to what she was telling the officer, but at the same time he wanted to stay where he could see her and know she was okay.

"Stay, please." She begged, the idea of him leaving her there making her stomach flip. "Is that okay?" She asked, looking back at the policeman who had pulled out his notepad ready to write down what she was saying.

He nodded, smiling. "That's fine with me. Here have a seat, I'll move round." He got up and moved in to the next chair round so that Charles could sit down next to Molly.

"Thank you." Charles mumbled, sitting himself down uncomfortably. He'd got no idea what to say or do.

"So, can you just tell me what happened tonight? I know it wasn't you that called us, if you can just fill us in on what's happened tonight as much as you can that would really help." The policeman smiled kindly at Molly, who was clutching at the edge of the table so tightly her knuckles were turning right.

"We just had a bit of an argument, that's all." She tried to shrug it off. "Things got a bit out of hand, it just sort of escalated."

"Do you remember what the argument was about?" He asked, looking up at her.

Molly shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking back and forth between Charles and the policeman. "It's been a bit tense since I've been back from my deployment." She muttered.

"You're in the forces?" The officer asked.

She nodded, biting her lip. "I'm an army medic. Just come back from Afghanistan."

"That's amazing." The officer smiled. "So, he's not been happy since you've been home?"

"Sort of." She shrugged. "It's all a bit of a mess, I got shot out there and I came back here and since I've come out of the hospital we've just been at each other's throats the whole time."

"Can you tell me what you've been arguing about?"

"He thinks I've been seeing someone else behind his back, while I was out on deployment." She said quietly, her eyes wandering over to look at Charles. "He kept saying I was going to leave him if I had the chance, so he was going to keep me here. He's had me locked in, took my phone off me so I couldn't get in touch with any of my friends." The tears were rolling down her cheeks as she looked over at Charles. "I'm so sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." The policeman smiled gently. "So, what happened tonight? We can take a break if you want to."

She shook her head. "He went out, he left the door open and I was just standing on the path getting some air. Then this lot came out and I was standing there talking to them- it was just so good to see them all, it's been so long- I just sort of forgot. And then Artan was there at the end of the path and he was so angry. He shoved me back inside and he just kept screaming at me, hitting me and pushing me into things, then he got that knife and he kept saying he was going to kill me. I don't know how long it went on for, it felt like forever. Then this lot came crashing through my door…. and well, here we are." She looked down at her hands, not wanting to risk meeting Charles' eye.

"Okay." The policeman said slowly. "That's enough for now. We'll get you to the hospital and get you check over and then we can get a proper statement done."

"What happens with Artan?" She asked.

"He'll be taken to the police station and put in holding now, until we question him later."

"Okay." She nodded. She turned to Charles next to her. "Can you come with me, please?" She was almost afraid to ask incase he said no.

"Of course I will." He nodded. "Come on, let's send this lot back round to mine and then I'll come with you." He got up, holding out a hand to her.

…..

He was sitting in the hospital waiting room a couple of hours later when she walked out and sat down beside him.

"All okay?" He asked.

"Fine, just bruised." She nodded. "I've called my Mum, she's coming to pick me up."

"You don't need to do that, you can come back with me." He offered straight away.

She shook her head. "I know, but I need some space. There's too many memories around here."

"If you're sure." He agreed reluctantly. "Promise me you'll keep in touch though?"

"Promise." She smiled, leaning into him as he put an arm around her.


	35. Chapter 35

_Thank you so much to everyone who's read this story and stuck we me this far this is the final chapter of this story, I can't quite believe that we're finally here thanks again for reading and I hope you all enjoy!_

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He glanced down at his phone, checking it once more in some kind of naive hope that she might have called him in the ten minutes since he last looked. It had been three months since he'd left her at the hospital. Three months since she'd promised that she would keep in touch with him, and he'd heard nothing from her. Not a phone call, or even a text to say she was still alive.

He'd spoken to her Mum a couple of weeks after the incident with Artan had happened. He'd just needed someone to tell him that she was okay. It hurt that she hadn't wanted to talk to him, more than he'd imagined it would've done, but as long as he knew she was okay and happy then he could live with it, he'd have to. Belinda hadn't wanted to talk to him at first when she'd realised who he was. She'd been angry at him for not telling them about Artan.

He'd ended up driving down to London and meeting Belinda at a little cafe not far from where she lived, just because it seemed easier to explain everything that had gone on face to face. He hadn't told her, but a lot of the reason he'd driven down there was because he'd been hoping he'd be able to see Molly. She hadn't wanted to see him though- or at least that was what Belinda had told him- so instead he'd sat in the cafe for the best part of three hours telling Belinda everything he knew about what had been happening, and trying to apologise for the fact he hadn't done something to stop it sooner. They both felt guilty, and the truth was they probably would for the rest of their lives.

What had been the worst thing of the whole visit was listening to Belinda talk about how Molly had been since Artan had been arrested. Listening to Belinda describing the way she'd just shut herself off from everyone and everything broke his heart, but also explained exactly why she hadn't been in touch with him or anyone from her section. He wanted to go round there, to try and shake some sense into her and convince her not to let this ruin her life and her career. She couldn't just let Artan win. But Belinda had refused to let him, she'd promised to tell Molly he'd called and try and get her to call him, but she wasn't going to let him go round there. So he'd driven himself home again, defeated, to wait until she was ready to call him- if she ever was.

Since then he'd been sat at his desk, going about his mundane little routine and trying to keep his section in line until they were deployed again, desperately waiting for his phone to ring.

There was a knock on the door of his office that made him flinch. He chucked his phone back in the drawer and shouted at whoever it was to come in. If this was someone coming to tell him about another supposedly hilarious prank that two section had come up with it was going to be the end of him.

"What is it Kinders?" He sighed, bracing himself for what's to come.

"Sorry to interrupt Boss, but Dawes is here. She was hoping you'd got a minute." Kinders looked uncomfortable.

Charles was silent for a moment. That was the last thing he'd been expecting. "Yes, of course. Thanks Kinders, send her in."

Kinders nodded. "Thanks Boss." He disappeared out into the hallway, he could hear him saying something, and then there she was, standing awkwardly in front of him.

"Close the door." He promoted as she stood in front of him, frozen. "Come and sit down."

She moved on auto pilot, closing the door and then coming to sit in the chair opposite him. She couldn't think why she'd decided this was a good idea- what had made her decide that she needed to speak to him? How many times had he called her in those first few days and she'd ignored him? He'd given up eventually, and he probably didn't even care anymore- but she still felt like she needed to explain herself to him.

"It's good to see you." He said slowly as she sat in front of him, fiddling with the sleeve of her jumper. She looked exhausted, she was pale and much thinner than he remembered. "How have you been."

She shifted in the chair, not meeting his eye. This was a mistake, she shouldn't have come, but she'd wanted to see him and explain herself.

"It's been difficult." She said slowly, risking a quick glance up at him. He was giving her one of those pitying looks she hated. "I'm sorry I didn't call."

"It's okay, I understand." He nodded. He didn't, he'd got so many questions he wanted to ask her but he didn't feel like he could.

"I just… well I didn't know what to say." She mumbled. "After that night, everything just kind of fell apart, I just fell apart. I'd been going on for so long just pretending everything was okay, and then suddenly I didn't have to pretend anymore and I didn't know what to do… everyone just kept telling me what I should've done- I should've told them, should've told the police or I should've left him sooner… I just got fed up with everyone judging me. It was just easier not to talk to anyone."

"I'm not judging you Molly, you know that whatever you decided to do I would've supported you." He said quietly. "The boys too, we're all here for whatever you need."

She shook her head. "That's the problem. I can't do _this_."

He frowned. "I'm not following."

"This." She sighed. "Whatever this thing is that you and me have got going on, I can't do it. I want to, god knows I do, but I can't…"

"When I said I'm here for you Molly, I mean it however you want. If you want me to be your friend, or something more, or even just your Captain then that's what I'll do." He said quietly. He hated seeing her like this, he could see her pulling away from him right in front of his eyes.

"You might be able to do that, but I don't think I can." She whispered. "You're amazing, and I couldn't have got through this without you, but I don't think that us being friends is going to work."

He opened his mouth to speak but she shook her head and silenced him.

"I need you to just hear me out." She said, looking at him pleadingly. She needed to say what she'd come there to say without him putting her off. "I love you Charles, that's the problem. I love you, and I can see us just falling into some kind of relationship- I mean look what happened when we were on tour- but I can't do that."

"Molly, I-" he started.

"No, just listen for a minute." She interrupted him again. "I'm not saying it's not what I want, but that's the problem I don't know what I want, at least not right now."

"I don't understand." He mumbled. His mind was reeling, she'd just admitted she loved him but was also somehow simultaneously saying she didn't want to be with him?

"I've never been on my own Charles, I don't know who I am without Artan. Everything I've done for as long as I can remember has been to please Artan, to try and keep him happy or to get myself away from him. I need to find out who I actually am, what I really want to do now I haven't got to worry about him."

"What are you going to do?" He asked. He just couldn't take in what she was saying at all.

"I've taken a short tour." She said slowly, watching his face for his reaction. "Three months, back in Afghanistan training the ANA medics. I need to figure out in my head if this is actually something I still want to do after everything that's happened. I honestly don't know if I was going away on tour because I genuinely enjoyed it, or if I just wanted to get away from Artan and it gave me some peace and quiet. I need to figure some things out.."

"And you're not going to figure it all out by being stuck here with me." He finished for her.

She smiled a little, meeting his eye properly for the first time since she'd walked into his office. "I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever want anything to happen between us, if things had been different…" she smiled wistfully. "But I need to sort myself out before I can even think about anyone else. And you've got Sam to think about too."

"So it's a maybe." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "I'll take that."

She smiled back at him. "Seriously though, I'm not trying to say that you should wait around for me or anything. If you were to find someone else you wanted to be with while I'm gone, I wouldn't be anything other than happy for you. I just want us both to be happy."

He nodded slowly. "When are you being deployed?" He asked.

"Tomorrow." She answered. "I'm actually on my way down to Brize Norton now, I just wanted to talk to you in person before I went. You know what it's like out there, anything can happen, and I wanted to make sure I'd said everything before I went- y'know, just incase." Her hand wandered to the scar on her neck subconsciously.

"I appreciate it." He smiled softly. "How are you feeling about going back out there after what happened?"

"It's a weird combination of looking forward to it and being scared shitless at the same time." She laughed quietly. "Are you being deployed again any time soon?" It hadn't even occurred to her until that moment that he might not actually be there when she got back.

He shrugged. "Not got anything definite yet, there's been some talk of a humanitarian aid mission to Kenya but we're waiting for it to be confirmed."

"So you might be in another corner of the world by the time I get back." She commented, thinking out loud.

He nodded. "You know what it's like Molly, there's never any guarantees. You can write to me while you're out there though, let me know how things are going, and if I do get deployed I'll let you know. But fingers crossed, I'll be here to pick you up from Brize Norton in three months time." He smiled. "If you want me to that is." He added quickly.

"That would be nice." She smiled. "I'd better get going, sorry." She didn't want to leave him, sitting there in front of him made her wonder exactly why she was doing this.

He stood up at the same time as her, walking around the desk and standing so they were less than a foot apart. She wanted to fling her arms around him and hang on for dear life.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm sorry that things couldn't have been different, that we couldn't have our happily ever after."

He stepped forwards, closing the gap between the two of them. He reached out slowly, making sure he didn't catch her by surprise, and cupped her cheek with his hand. She moved her hand up to rest over the top of his, and they stood for a moment just looking at each other.

"I'll still be here when you get back Molly." He said softly. "I love you, I'm not going anywhere. You take all the time you need to figure this all out, we've got time. Just remember that I'm here if you need me, and I love you."

She took a half step forward, putting her arms around him and resting her head against his chest. She felt safe and secure for the first time in a long time, she knew he'd look after her, no matter what happened. "Ditto." She smiled against his chest.

* * *

 _So, first of all I hope you all enjoyed the story? But before you all come and shoot me over the lack of happily ever after, this is the end of Picture Perfect, this isn't the end of the story for Molly and Charles. With a bit of luck (and real life permitting) there should be a sequel to this for you all to read soon, which will pick up when Molly returns from her tour. Thanks again to you all for reading xx_


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